To wish people would just respect age restrictions

[IndiaSS]

Last night DH and I went to see the nutcracker, it's stated very clearly on the website 5+.
Beside us were a family, grandma, granddad, mum and daughter. The daughter looked about 3, maybe a very small 4.

The little girl did okay for a while but she kept moving between each of the adults knees and whispering. I wouldn't say it was super disruptive but it was hard to ignore and I really doubt she got anything out of it.

AIBU to think you should just respect the age restrictions on these things and to question why the theatre allowed them in?

Also why on earth do parents take kids to things that clearly aren't age appropriate?

Yes, people should respect the restrictions, however the child may well have been 5 (some 5 year old children will look younger than others).

I agree; a performance of the Nutcracker was not enhanced by a toddler who only wanted to be on the floor in the tiny space and investigate my handbag

I was in facebook groups for the Eras Tour and so many parents were posting asking how to get their children either into the venue (underage) or into the standing area (underage). Anyone pointing out that the rules were there for a reason i.e. safety was told that the children's desperation to see Taylor should trump all other concerns and that mums know best about what's in their best interests. When I went to my show I saw so many kids who looked way younger than 5, so it seems that lots got their wish.

In short: because many people think that only they and their family matter, and that rules apply to others and not them.

Sorry that your day out was spoiled.

Poor kid bet she was bored. Ridiculous and not fair on others.

Under 5s at the Taylor Swift Eras concert? That's mental. How many under 5s are going to sit happily through a 3 hour plus concert. I have to admit I did consider trying to sneak my 13 year old into the over 14 standing area when we had the chance at a couple of tickets, I get the safety aspect but she's taller than me and I imagine the security for Taylor Swift would be shit hot at preventing any issues. Anyway, I decided not to bother in the end in case they were checking ID and she got turned away so we stayed at home and watched it on Disney + in the end.

I really highly doubt she was any older than 4, combination of height/language etc.
She was about the same height as my nephew who's a tall 2. Id guess she was maybe 3 but like I said could be a small 4.

I think the age guidance is guidance because some kids will sit through shows they love even if they wouldn't sit through everything.

I took my 9 year old to see Hamilton in the theatre even though the age guidance was ten. She behaved incredibly and had a huge grin on her face the whole time.

I don't think I'd take an under 5 to see anything long though, kids that age don't want to sit for that long and I don't think it's in anyway pleasant to try to make them.

I don’t think her age is relevant but the ushers shouldn’t have allowed the disruption. I wouldn’t assume she was 3/4 because you can’t always guess age- I have 1 nephew who was so tall he always mistaken for being years older, and then judged for normal toddler behaviour because everyone thought he was 5/6, and another nephew who was always really teeny tiny and would be given kids menus in restaurants up until about age 15! Also the behaviour doesn’t sound totally a-typical even for a 5YO because a long ballet will be boring for a lot of kids whether they’re 3,4,5 or even 6. Being honest, I think the Nutcracker is pretty boring 😬 although I know better than to fidget! Then my friend’s DD who was 6, so well above any minimum age, behaved as you described at Frozen the musical and an usher threatened them with eviction!

As I said, different children grow and develop at different rates. My friend childminded a 2.5 year old who looked, and sometimes sounded, about 4 or 5.

Yep. I know, I know, you can't be conclusive about age because on MN every 2 year old is 6ft tall etc. but I used to teach young children so I'm pretty good at estimating age. I saw plenty of children who I'd bet my salary were no more than 4.

Actually I think for things like that it also depends on the child. I wouldn’t have taken either of mine at 5 as I know they wouldn’t have been able to sit still and quiet for long enough. Even now I consider if a show will keep my youngest entertained (he’s 13 and knows how to behave just gets bored easily)

I have seem really disruptive behaviour from young children at the theatre, but actually what you describe is within the limits of acceptability for The Nutcracker imo. It's traditionally for children so I'd have expected it to be more relaxed than most shows, whispering and shuffling around is par for the course. I wouldn't go into it expecting kids to sit still & quietly through the whole thing.

The daughter looked about 3, maybe a very small 4.

Or a very small 5.

My niece was premature and was always tiny.

I would imagine there's plenty 5+ year olds who can't sit still or stay quiet for an entire performance either.
Children are clearly allowed so I would have expected that personally.

People should be thoughtful about what's suitable for the child, regardless of age restrictions. A child's size doesn't tell you whether they are 3 or 4 or 5, but then I know some 3 year olds who would sit through something better than some 5 year olds!

Well theatres / shows need to make a decision. They can specify an age and check ID or they can give advice and guidance and you take the risk as a punter / complain to the family / speak to the ushers. Unfortunately people think they know best and that guidance isn't for them. Some will be right, some won't.

I'm pretty sure I saw a TikTok of a woman stood with an infant at her feet at the eras tour...

They have made that decision. Under 3s are not allowed mostly, but over that it's guidance only. As it should be I think.

@TheWonderhorse

I read this to mean children under 5 aren't allowed at all.

I meant shows generally. I think it's totally fair to run specific viewings for younger kids though, in fact that's a good idea.

Most shows I've seen only exclude the very young kids, but ask that U16s are with an adult.

I think your making assumptions. My 2 kids are 4 and 6. The look and talk like much older children. They are both tall and tower over kids in their year groups. The are wearing clothes for 2 yeara older. My 6 year old reads fluently, she has a better vocabulary than my 11 year old nibbling. You can't look at a child and decide their age.

YANBU. But my 5.5 yr old is wearing age 3 trousers today that aren't too short for her so she may have been over the age. But regardless of age they should have considered whether she'd sit through it appropriately & actually enjoy it.

Having had two very petite girls, she may well have been 5. My dd started school in age 2-3 clothes.

I think it’s less about age and more about behaviour and how the parent deals with it.

I’m happy to sit next to a 4yo who has been told how to behave and given clear consequences if they don’t, taken to the loo beforehand, not given noisy sweets and is taken out if they get restless. I’m not happy to sit next to a 15yo who is constantly on their phone.