To wish people would just respect age restrictions

[IndiaSS]

Last night DH and I went to see the nutcracker, it's stated very clearly on the website 5+.
Beside us were a family, grandma, granddad, mum and daughter. The daughter looked about 3, maybe a very small 4.

The little girl did okay for a while but she kept moving between each of the adults knees and whispering. I wouldn't say it was super disruptive but it was hard to ignore and I really doubt she got anything out of it.

AIBU to think you should just respect the age restrictions on these things and to question why the theatre allowed them in?

Also why on earth do parents take kids to things that clearly aren't age appropriate?

I always think if you want to take kids go to the matinee. They are less tired and more likely to be able to focus.
But I do think it’s good for kids to go to the theatre, choose carefully though.
We saw The Nutcracker when she was 4 but we didn’t see Swan Lake until she was 12.

For some maybe. I knew perfectly well that the poster wasn't referring to the Nutcracker having scenes of wild sex or shooting up. 'Age appropriate' is contextual, which sadly a lot of people don't get.

Possibly whoever was on the door couldn't be certain that the child wasn't five. It sounds like she was past the obvious chubby toddler stage.

I went to a theatre show 3 weeks post-partum and I saw someone carrying in a baby in a sling. I spent the entire first half of the show listening out for the baby crying (like I would have done at home with my own).

She was asked to leave by staff at the interval so I managed to relax somewhat in the second half but it still baffles me. Baby must've been about 6 months old. Obviously going to cry in a dark, loud room with loads of people!

This is another 'But not all...'

It is easier for everyone if there is specific age guidance and everyone sticks to it!

You might think your DC can behave, but one time they may not.
And just because yours can, others can't and no one knows till they kick off

So if there's an age restriction then just follow it
It's not the end of the world if they miss one show or film
Just take them to another one!

Theres a difference between guidance and a limit. If it’s a limit, the theatre should have checked.

The Nutcracker is for children.
It is one where I would have some leeway. Kids are the future patrons.
Maybe the child was close to 5 but still found it tiresome.
The parents will know for next time.
Good on them for frequenting the ballet.

It's all very subjective and I imagine it's left to parental choice. My 5 year old at 3 was going to the theatre for kids shows and would happily sit for over an hour absolutely enthralled and not move from her seat or talk. She has gone to the panto for the second year in a row now and can easily sit through a film in the cinema. Whereas my current 3 year old absolutely will not be going to anything rated at 5+ when he is 5 as he just doesn't sit still. I wouldn't subject him to annoy anyone else even if I think he might enjoy it.

It's not always easy to go to a matinee if you work, weekends can be sold out, and people sometimes give away tickets to friends last minute and you don't have a babysitter etc.

Last night DH and I went to see the nutcracker, it's stated very clearly on the website 5+.
Beside us were a family, grandma, granddad, mum and daughter. The daughter looked about 3, maybe a very small 4.

Please don't assume. I have a DC with a growth condition who looks much younger than she is and it gets so so tiresome having to advocate for people to treat her as her age. Its much, much more common than you might think.

We took our kids youngest then 20 months to pantomime - it was allowed as you could buy lap seat for under 3. In queue had some grandparents kick off at us for taking such young kids.

Our kids were quiet and well behaved throughout - as we knew they would be and if not we'd have taken them out. Some late primary age at front of us weren't - were quite disruptive. Grandparents spoke to us on way out - think they meant it as a compliment - going on how well behaved our kids are - I thought yea it's like we know them or something.

So I agree behavior and age while related aren't absolute guides..

However we always respected age restrictions - because assumed there was a reason for them.

I would as PP say though that age judgements can be way off - people insist they can do it but IME unless they work with kids in child settings they are usually way off and assume one or two kids they know are the standard size and vocabulary range.

OMG, yes - a very expensive Royal Opera House Nutcracker performance was very much spoiled for us by a nearby small child endlessly asking her mother questions. And the mother replied in whispers every time, but never once told the child to BE QUIET!
The child could have been 5, I don’t know, but if they can’t be quiet, at least most of the time, please don’t take them!

@IndiaSS because lots of people are dicks and can't say 'NO' to their kids.

I wouldn't care if the child in the OP was a tiny 5yo or a tall 2yo, the fact is that they were disturbing others by whispering through the performance. Regardless of whether over 5s are permitted, if your child (whatever their age) is disturbing others then you either tell them to be quiet or leave the auditorium.

Yes, it's very common to be aggressive towards young audience, if not overtly then by dirty looks and remarks (and then vent suppressed aggression online). No wonder concert halls and theatres are struggling to attract new generations. They are simply not used to going to such places in their formative years and feel out of place.

I don't know a single parent who has never taken their child to the theatre or cinema, and every time I go to either, there are tons and tons and tons of children, so I think people overestimate the "aggression" towards families.

At the cinema last week, a young family were camped out across the seats chatting away like they were in their living room or on Gogglebox. I don't think they felt remotely uncomfortable or upset by the disapproving looks and remarks - they continued throughout. We asked the cinema staff to do something but they just shrugged and said their policy isn't to remove family groups.

Guidance has nothing to do with sitting through a show, guidance is for the content of the show.

It sometimes is a huge thing to miss a show, and the 10+ guidance for Hamilton is nothing to to do with the ability to sit for 3 hours, but more to do with the language in it. My 9 y/o daughter is a solid working class council estate kid though, and has heard worse!

I took my youngest and my niece to a 6+ performance in the summer, for their actual 6th birthday present. They share a birthday.

My niece is tiny, my youngest DD is head and shoulders above her. The people next to us refused to believe DN was old enough for the show and caused a ruckus ruining her birthday treat. I was fuming.

keep your beak out OP.

I would go further than that and say that, regardless of the age of your children, you shouldn't be taking them to any kind of show unless you are certain they will understand the etiquette and follow it, and if they don't, you are ready to take them out.

Some friends and I went to see Wicked a few weeks ago, leaving our children (2 4 yos and a 2 yo) at home, because we knew they couldn't sit through a 3 hour movie. Several parents had brought young children who proceeded to talk, wriggle and get up for the toilet 3 or 4 times each. It was so distracting and really draws your focus from the film.

The age restriction is there for a reason. People dont give a sh*t about restrictions or the impact on others, its a great big FU essentially.

Ive got two 3 year old relatives and there is no way either of them would be taken to see a ballet. Theyre not badly behaved. Its just not realistic to expect them to sit still for an hour and a half.

I don't care what age a child is, if they are disrupting the show, running around screaming in restaurants or annoying everyone within a 3 mile radius they are a pita. Especially if the so called parents smile indulgently and simper, "So spirited and adventurous at this age"
Take your off spring, fuck off and haunt someone else.

This.
My DC was not admitted to a 10+ performance at ENO because of the language in the production.

Some performances with sudden loud sounds or lights can be disturbing for under-5 hence the guidance.

It has nothing to do with the ability to sit through. Some adults cannot sit through either due to ADHD or other ND - so what??

Yeah right, there is absolutely no aggression towards young audience out there @fitzwilliamdarcy , it's just normal habitual swearing 😂

Tbh the age of the child isn't the issue really. The issue is the parents letting the child climb around and disrupt. If the child couldn't keep still, they should have been taken out.

I think there's a pretty massive difference between being irritated that a child is disrupting an experience everyone else has paid for, and blanket-hostility towards all families with young children. You implied that young families are failing to take their kids to the theatre etc. due to fear of aggression, which just isn't true as a broad statement. And it certainly isn't proven by one person swearing online about people allowing their kids to ruin experiences for other people.