So very many threads could be simply answered with

[leafybrew]

You're stupid OP - HTH

I do know this is a pretty awful thing to think and extremely negative but I will quite often think it and have a little giggle to myself.

It isn't always the OP - it can be applied to many other posters

NB post menopausal here and the filters came off a while ago.

Yep. Most of the time I think Google could have answered their question and there was no need for the polava of asking Mumsnet and waiting an hour for replies.

I think the majority could be answered with either

you're over thinking it.

you need to learn to drive

your boyfriend who you share nothing financial with, is not your partner. You're expecting too much.

Try googling “polava”?

I always want to remind people that they had a paternal grandmother.
It seems when people want to exclude MILs they forget that she is their children’s nan.
I can’t stand my MIL but my kids love her because she is their nan.
I can’t imagine my childhood without both my nans in it.

Or, 'if you don't like how your family members are providing you with free childcare/housing/other gifts, don't accept it and pay for it yourself.'

AIBU is pretty much always 100% either way. They’re either acting like a child, or leave me baffled they have to check that someone else’s behaviour is unacceptable.

Having said that I do love this place and think outside of most of Chat and AIBU it’s a wealth a help and knowledge!

It's 'Palava'

...frequently used in contexts where the fuss is long-winded and out of proportion to whatever trifle caused it, leading to an amended meaning, listed in the OED as ‘a fuss, a commotion; a tedious or unnecessarily drawn-out process, a rigmarole’.

Lots of relationship threads start with a totally innocuous title like "AIBU to be angry that my partner forgot to lock the door" and then each paragraph gets more jaw dropping as it's revealed he also cheats, drinks, in debt, addicted to gambling, doesn't take care of the kids, unemployed, overweight, 10 years older or 10 years younger then the OP etc etc. Genuinely not sure what people expect as a reply for those...

no, I think I could be doing something else, I choose to be here, everyone gets stressed about different things and sometimes people need an outside sounding board or a bit of reassurance.

Let's bring back rigamarole! Not heard it used in ages!

Get more than one key cut

I think in the threads about poor behaviour from husbands and partners you can almost always cut to the chase and LTB.

It’s always the right thing and usually you will just be speeding up a process and save yourself several years of grief.

I think you'll find it's actually palver.

Sadly, stating the obvious, even if it would be helpful, often gets you called bitchy, selfish, uncaring, etc, because the OP (and/or PPs) may have anxiety, be ND, or simply because they don't like a home truth..

What is your point?

No it isn't!

It's definitely not.

I love to lurk sometimes 🍿 and watch the fun.

My old dad used to wear a polava. Kept his chest warm in the cold weather.

😁

I think a lot can be answered with:

Talk openly with them. It's not even a confrontation it's just talking.

The worst ones are ‘I am bleeding severely … my X has fallen off… should I go to A&E?’

Isn’t posting on mumsnet the last thing you think about when faced with a medical emergency?!

I wouldnt say stupid. But I do often want to say
Nobody is thinking about you or staring at you
Go to your GP and get that anxiety treated because its not normal
You dont have to be a martyr mum and spend 18 years never having time away from your children.

I have learnt a lot of things on MN. Obviously the chicken thing, then that noone likes a MIL, and that women put up with behaviour from men that is simply outrageous. And worse still try to rationalise their husbands or partners behaviour. The chicken thing makes me laugh, the MIL thing makes me think hmmmm, but the descriptions of male behaviour I find jaw dropping. In relation to this I think a lot of posts could be answered by, imagine your best friend is describing this situation to you, what would you say to her?

All the OPs going into minute detail about the man they're dating messing them around, trying to extract the exact nuances from every remark they've ever made and presenting their one line text-messages for detailed analysis:

He's just not that into you.

Lack of common sense comes to mind with so many posts.