To make dp clean his parents toilet?

[Littlebittiredoflife]

Every time we come the sink looks clean the top of the toilet looks clean but it stinks of piss and under the seat there will always be stains and hairs. They don't use the bath and that is always dusty too. Am I being unreasonable to request that dp cleans it before I or our children go to use it? He feels like he is being rude by doing so.

Nothing wrong with asking him, why can't you do it though? And why does he think it's rude - they won't know he's cleaned it?! He just pops to the loo and cleans it whilst he's there. Sounds grim I don't blame you.

If you're the one who's bothered, you clean it.

If his parents notice they'll probably be pretty offended and embarrassed. If it's really gross then you have to take that on the chin but I would only do it if it's really bad. For the bath surely you just quickly rinse it down before using it and all will be fine? That doesn't need to be a big deal.

The bath at PIL is sometimes dusty, their house is on 3 floors their bedroom and bathroom are on the top, so the middle floor bathroom rarely gets used, downstairs loo is used frequently during the day and by guests. If we stay, our room and DS' is on the middle floor and so if DS is having a bath I just rinse it with the shower hose first. The toilet and sink are always clean though.

I've realised this sounds like PIL have a giant house, they don't! It's 3 beds but old and on 3 levels. We only have designated rooms because DH is an only child!

I suppose because cleaning someone else's wee is gross and if it was my parents I'd have told them 8 years ago and would keep telling them about it whereas for some reason dp will not tell his parents (and to be fair neither will I). He thinks they will wonder why he's taking so long or hear his cleaning.

Are they elderly? Sometimes they just can’t see it, they think it’s clean when it isn’t. It’s a bit grim but I would take disposable gloves and quickly do it myself when we arrived.

How old are they? My parents household standards have slid dreadfully since they reached their 70s (now over 80). We have to help with things like this because they cannot physically manage anymore. SIL also does it for them, because she is a good person. A family friend is staying with them at the moment, he is cleaning for them as well. Pointing it out is unnecessarily embarrassing and humiliating for them.

If they don't notice the smell, then who's to say they'd even notice somebody cleaning. If they do notice, just say it needed cleaning. After all they are the people inviting you to stay with them and use the urine tinged bathroom - they should be embarrassed.

They are not elderly, one has a disability now but it's always been like this. Even when his sister and boyfriend lived here, in fact it was worse then with the four of them using it.

You sound as if you have iived a sheltered life. If that is the worst toilet your childrenever have to use, they'll be very lucky.

I would just take some antibacterial wipes to clean it before you or the kids use it.

I’m not sure I’d want to clean up my in-laws pubes either! 🤮

Smells eh I can deal with it. But I’d draw the line at their short and curlies!

Oh god. Just give it a wipe over and be done with it.
Not pleasant but really not the end of the world either.

This is an excellent solution!

Too right he'd Clean it.

I wouldn't even visit. Yuck.

Yes, your husband should clean it. Absurd that anyone thinks otherwise.

You want it clean so you clean it i would have thought

It’s his parents urine and pubic hairs, he should clean it.

That’s disgusting . I clean my loo before my kids come and my mils is spotless . Your DP should clean the loo .

I don’t see the big deal really, I mean your DH should do his fair share of cleaning but the whole ‘it’s your parents piss is a bit weird’. Piss is piss surely? Not great they can’t seem to use a toilet properly but not sure why people get so squeamish over a bit of piss.

It’s also the same reason I’m a carer for my own parents but not my DH’s. I don’t mind doing it for my own as they raised me, I don’t want to do it for DH’s parents and he is capable of doing it himself.

Just buy a small dettol spray that fits in your bag and clean it yourself with some loo roll. I do this anyway before and after when I use anyone’s toilet! Always did it before my children got near a toilet. If I don’t have dettol I use alcohol hand gel on some toilet roll. They do this now too as adults.

BTW very few of us get to old age without needing another human to help us clean our poo and wee. Have some empathy when you are talking about such things.

If It’s so easy, the DH could just do it? His excuse that his parents will hear is so pathetic.

My df is elderly and his toilet is never properly clean, he refuses to employ a cleaner, I always clean it and would never expect my dh to do it.
Imo your dh should be sorting out the toilet. It’s his dp’s house after all.

It seems a reasonable request to me. It needn't take long or make much noise, and I agree it's right that he be the one to do it, as they're his parents.