To make dp clean his parents toilet?

[Littlebittiredoflife]

Every time we come the sink looks clean the top of the toilet looks clean but it stinks of piss and under the seat there will always be stains and hairs. They don't use the bath and that is always dusty too. Am I being unreasonable to request that dp cleans it before I or our children go to use it? He feels like he is being rude by doing so.

Good grief , have you never cleaned a toilet. Disposable gloves, anti bac wipes, nappy sack or dog poo bag. 2 minutes, job done.
Dusty bath = rinse as much away as possible. Spray and wipe or use anti bac wipes. ( don’t usually advocate wipes but sometimes they’re necessary)

I suppose because cleaning someone else's wee is gross

So if they left wee or worse around your toilet when they visit you, would you ask them to come back and clean it?

I'd just get in and clean it TBH.

I can't help but feel sorry for the elderly in this country, so much fuss about a bit of pee and some hair.
A pack of antibacterial wipes and some disposable gloves would have the job done in under 5 mins, personally I wouldn't care less if I did it or dh did it as long as one of us did, as much for his parents benefit as for my kids!
It would be good if a lot of posters on here could try and think forward to their elderly years and think how they would like to be treated as they become less able to keep their home to a desirable standard.

How would you feel if someone came into your house and started criticising your standard of cleaning, or riffled through your cupboards looking for the Cif after a poo?
Older people start to miss the finer details of cleaniness - eyes are less asharp, bending down to scrub is a bit harder.
Perhaps be a little less judgy and offer to help (or get your dh to offer, not just do it sneakily) or suggest they get a cleaner.

We used to take antibacterial wipes and disposable gloves to FIL's house because the bathroom was always dusty and dirty and DC wouldn't use it, and just wipe down discreetly. He was never one to complain about someone doing housework for him! Has a cleaner now, thankfully.

I would of course have empathy if they were old and the problem had deteriorated over time. However I've know dp for a couple of decades since his parents were late 30s and it has always been like this. My toilet is cleaned before anyone comes round so it wouldn't be found in a state! And do would clean if they left ours dirty too but I've never seen ours like theire.

To be clear I wouldn't want to clean my parents either and whilst they are young (think late 50s) rather than 70s or 80s then I would just tell them their loo isn't clean. However this wouldn't be the case because it is always cleaned before guests arrive. As is the hoovering done and the dusting.

@Littlebittiredoflife they obviously do not do a good clean for christmas then!!! yeuch! what does the rest of the house look like??????

Some people are extremely resistant to any suggestion that their standards are poor so there's no pointing inviting tension by saying you'll do it or suggesting they get a cleaner.
I'd just work on a little and often basis as pp have said. Bath is not an issue - if you use it you can quickly clean it before you fill it. Toilet I think both you and DP should be giving it however much time each time you go in there.

And I’m guessing you wouldn’t tell him
to clean the toilet at your parents if they didn’t have a clean loo? You’d just do it?

My gran was always house proud and her house was immaculate. When she was in her 90s, she could no longer keep it so clean but couldn't see the dirt and the mould. She was mortified when my stepmum cleaned the kitchen behind her back.

Rather than say anything, we took to guerilla cleaning bits of house. My major triumph was "accidentally" spilling the basin of water on the kitchen floor so that I had to mop it all.

If the toilet needs cleaning, flush it first then get the harpic in there. Sounds like your husband needed to clean it up after himself... I've done that a couple of times.

The rest of the house is clean on the surface- kitchen sides wiped and floor hoovered. The table is regularly left with last night's crumbs and there is mould around some of the windows. Clean sheets on the bed but stained mattress underneath for example and definitely years of dust on any boxes underneath the bed. Definitely no deep Christmas clean or any other time of year deep clean here.

If it was my parents I would tell them and they would clean it.

Or you could just do it rather than making any issue of something so trivial!

If you want it cleaned you should do it. Take some disposable gloves and cleaning wipes and a strident tablet for the loo itself. They probably won't notice. My parents was always mucky but they both had cataracts so couldn't see. Plus I think you may have princess syndrome.

But grim but no different than using public toilet

I've basically tasked DH to clean it every time we go now. I might agree that I should do it if it was just me and DH using it but it seems unhygienic for the kids too. It's so strange the rest of the toilet and sink are clean its FIL doesn't know you need to clean the rim as it is always urine marked!