Is this the definition of misogyny

[JuniperJungl]

I am waiting to be seen for a 36 week maternity appointment. Outside the birth centre in the waiting area there are only three seats, all bolted to the floor so can't be moved.

I stood up to ring the bell as had been waiting for ages and a man who had dropped his wife off earlier has arrived back with a primary school age child both coughing and spluttering like mad and have taken two of the three seats. I have moved away from them as they are visibly unwell and am now crouching on the floor.

He said there is a seat available so I should take it, I said I'm trying to stay away from coughs.

@Crunchymum I saw her come out she was talking to the midwife about a booking in appointment.

Haha this is brilliant. And so true!!!

My dc has asthma and sometimes suddenly starts coughing continously if something irritates their lungs. I feel really bad about freaking other people put with his cough but it can come on and go again pretty suddenly so can't be avoided.

its pure ignorance to sit in a place where pregnant people have to sit heavily symptomatic with who knows what . Tell that to people in icu with flu “trust your immune system “ . What utter rubbish. It’s just so ignorant

"What utter rubbish. It’s just so ignorant"

Yet now so commonplace.....

Ridiculous behaviour from the man. I wouldn't say misogyny, I'd say pure selfishness, stupidity and a complete lack of consideration for anyone else.

His wife didn't need his help - he should have stayed in the car, rather than going into a place with a load of pregnant women. What a twit.

@Walkden what is commonplace ? It is standard advice to avoid immunocompromised and pregnant women when sick. Deliberately putting people at risk is very ignorant. What part of that can you not understand

There was a seat available for your comfort. If you are totally determined to avoid a child with a cold, fine- but no, he should not have made his child stand whilst a chair was available for them to sit in.

Ultimately it's a women's space and those seats should be used for pregnant women as intended, not partners and children waiting for someone to come out of an appointment. Also I'm of the opinion that unless unavoidable don't go into a hospital with communicable diseases and be around people who are immunosuppressed - which pregnant women are. He and his child could have waited in the car if they needed to bring his wife. I struggle to believe those of you who say you see no problem with the situation to be honest.

Honestly let it go. There was seat, which he offered you. If you want to be a martyr and not take it then that's on you

Not misogyny. Not really rude either - there were free seats, he sat on one, as he’s perfectly entitled to do. Crouching on the floor is martyrdom in the extreme ffs. At a push, he was maybe a bit selfish, or short sighted, as he probably just didn’t think.

Okay well what do you want, OP? A medal for being so brave that you crouched in a corner? Us to find him and lynch him? You had a seat you chose not to take it. You also chose not to say anything to him. Roll your eyes and move on.

" what is commonplace ? It is standard advice to avoid immunocompromised and pregnant women when sick."

Tell that to all the pregnant teachers who have parents send kids in vomiting, with flu, having tested positive for flu.

It might be sensible and prudent to avoid immunocompromised people when infected but people have the attitude you can't live in fear, "if you feel well enough attend". School, flights, hospital appointments, whatever.

It you work or deal with the public most people will come in with all manners of infections.....

I do agree with what you're saying, but that still doesn't make it misogyny, does it?

those seats should be used for pregnant women as intended, not partners and children waiting for someone to come out of an appointment

I’d agree if there were pregnant women in need of seats and the man and his child didn’t move. But that wasn’t the case.

There were sufficient seats. It’s fine for people waiting for patients to use them when patients don’t need them.

Not misogyny in my view, just a man who doesn't get what it's like to be pregnant and having to worry about avoiding bugs.

To be fair, with two kids and (assuming?) another baby on way, he probably didn't give it two thoughts. Not sure if I'd have expected him to ask two children to give up their seats though, seems a bit much in my opinion, but I don't know your situation.

@Walkden I worked as a nurse throughout my entire pregnancy. So I know all about working with the public and exposure to illness thanks very much. I was exposed to all sorts during that pregnancy. Yes people are exposed in their line of work. That doesn’t make it ok to sit in a room full of pregnant women coughing when pregnant women have no choice but to be there, including potentially high risk pregnant women who have been signed off from work etc.

Why/how would she be coming out of a maternity appointment if she still hasn't had a booking in appointment yet?

And most of us who are vulnerable try to avoid it like OP is doing
I don't wait in doctors waiting rooms or hospital ones etc and I wouldn't be sitting next to someone with a cough flu jab or no flu jab

Ultimately it's a women's space and those seats should be used for pregnant women as intended, not partners and children waiting for someone to come out of an appointment.

I really think you are just going to be continually disappointed if you go around with these kinds of expectations in life OP. If chairs are provided, people are going to sit in them. Nice people might get up when there are no seats left, but in no place I have ever been has anyone ever got out of a seat or got their kids out of a seat so I could sit when there are other seats available.

Other people's health conditions are not the sort of thing you get to police or judge. Better next time to wear a mask and put your energies into the kinds of things in life you are able to control and change.

@Barbie222 people are entitled to judge if they want to judge lol. You are clearly judging too .

Apply a bit common sense. If you have a child at home you likely have been exposed to all the current bugs going. Children are horrible little bug factories ;)

If the whole world stopped every time we have a cold nothing would get done. A very good chance the staff you saw at maternity were carrying the same bugs.

"That doesn’t make it ok to sit in a room full of pregnant women coughing when pregnant women have no choice but to be there, including potentially high risk pregnant women who have been signed off from work etc."

As you will know for experience it may not be ok, but it is common....

@Walkden my argument is that it isn’t ok . I don’t really care how common it is. Being common doesn’t make it ok.