Is this the definition of misogyny

[JuniperJungl]

I am waiting to be seen for a 36 week maternity appointment. Outside the birth centre in the waiting area there are only three seats, all bolted to the floor so can't be moved.

I stood up to ring the bell as had been waiting for ages and a man who had dropped his wife off earlier has arrived back with a primary school age child both coughing and spluttering like mad and have taken two of the three seats. I have moved away from them as they are visibly unwell and am now crouching on the floor.

He said there is a seat available so I should take it, I said I'm trying to stay away from coughs.

No. It’s an example of selfishness and thoughtlessness.

You sound really angry. The op has no choice but to hang around there waiting on her appointment. It’s common sense NOT to hang around an area where pregnant women congregate coughing and spluttering and it’s understandable to be worried about picking something up at 36 weeks pregnant. The man and child could have waited elsewhere .

While still in hospital after birth, the nurses called all mothers from their rooms for a short meeting. There were only 10 chairs. Most of them filled by the women's male partners and leaving the women who just gave birth the day before, including myself, standing.

I should have said something but obv too tired/out of it for a confrontation.

Lazy shits.

He did - the OP said he was the one who brought it up and asked his child to cover his/her mouth.

He was waiting in the waiting area for his pregnant partner. He alerted the OP to their cold and tried to mitigate the risk in a normal and polite way. The OP says her own child currently has a cough.

I think he should have turned to face away and possibly had his child in his knee to try increase the distance between them and the OP. But that’s all.

Three seats, three people waiting.
maybe a mask next visit?

Misogyny, no.

This backfired. He isn’t a misogynist but you are entitled. 😂

Which the child wasn’t able to do ? It’s a risk hanging around pregnant woman coughing and spluttering. I don’t have sympathy for this man. Sorry .

Also anyone with any ounce of medical knowledge would know not to hang around a clinic for pregnant women coughing and spluttering. This man prob didn’t have a clue and didn’t think of it though.

I don't think anyone's suggesting it's great to be sitting coughing and ill in a medical waiting room. But assuming the man just hadn't any idea and had no other options of what to do is assumption and stereotyping in itself, no? Also, it doesn't sit with the info in the OP where he tried to mitigate what was going on.

If what you're suggesting is that everyone in the room should stand up and leave all the chairs free because one pregnant woman is there, I don't think that's a reasonable approach to take, no.

How utterly ridiculous.

He and his child deserve a seat as Mitch as you do.

If there were only two seats he could put the child on his lap but there were three and one seat was available for you.

Ok well the alternative is that he knows pregnant women shouldn’t be around sick people and just doesn’t care…. I just think don’t go to places where pregnant or immunocompromised people congregate when unwell. It’s that simple really.

i dont see any misogyny

No @Missmarymack2 there are a whole host of reasons why this partner may need to be close at hand, none of which are either 'don't know' or 'don't care' as you think.

@Barbie222 im not suggesting everyone gets up and leaves. I’m suggesting people who are unwell and heavily symptomatic with coughing stay away from clinics for pregnant women.

He doesn’t need sympathy. But he isn’t a misogynist.

He and his child are waiting in the waiting area (perfectly normal behaviour) for his partner.

OP’s very cautious attitude is fair enough, but she’s unrealistic to expect to avoid exposure to viruses at this time of year, particularly since it’s most likely she’ll catch it from her own child rather than some random guy in a waiting room for 10 minutes. If she was that nervous about it, she could take a mask.

Is this your first child? Kids get sick, regularly. So you'll have to learn to deal with these things. You chose to not sit on the seat. Your choice

People who are heavily symptomatic with coughs should avoid areas where pregnant women congregate. Masks provide very limited protection. I agree he isn’t a misogynist but I don’t agree with him hanging around a clinic for pregnant women while unwell, regardless of whether or not the ops child is sick.

@Barbie222 no because she is my daughter and my responsibility but if I can avoid strangers with bugs then I will like any sensible person would, especially when heavily pregnant?

That's your personal choice to avoid anyone with a bug. It's not up to you to dictate what other people do.

Lots of people aren’t aware how dangerous flu is for pregnant women. I know a couple of nurses who ended up in ICU with it.

if he does know and doesn’t care that just shows pure pig ignorance. I think I was just trying to be optimistic that this isn’t the case…

It’s male entitlement, OP. Maternity waiting rooms are spaces for pregnant women first and foremost. He’s being a typical manspreading dick.

By spreading his two children onto two chairs when there is a chair free for OP, while he waits for his wife?

Would you like a dictionary?

Outside the birth centre in the waiting area

So his wife could be in the birth centre?

No, they didn't take your seat, you just didn't want to sit next to them. They weren't obliged to stand so you can have all three seats.

"Lots of people aren’t aware how dangerous flu is for pregnant women"

Lots of people have always been of the attitude illness is part of life don't live in fear trust your immune system. Plenty of people who are clinically vulnerable are exposed to colds flue and COVID all the time

Thanks OP being pregnant and should have been offered flu and COVID jabs and needs to get on with it like everyone else....