Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel little bit down in this situation

30 replies

LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 17:15

I know I am being bit ridiculous. My best friend has changed jobs recently and she keeps telling me how she has got a 6 figure job and how I should try for a job switch as well.
Here's my situation, I am on mat leave for next 10 months and I work in Civil services, very close to my home, 15 mins walk, I am on a decent pay 70k and get to work flexibly over 4 days, giving me more time with kids. I have 2 young DC and I am mid 30s. I am in a relatively cheaper area, not in London.
We work in tech and I looked on LinkedIn and can see many good roles paying 6 figures in London and I feel so tempted to apply for those roles. It would mean an added commute, less time with DC, additional expenses of £100 pd train tickets, sabotaging my maternity leave and also, letting go of a day off each week I get, civil services pensions, flexibility and the existing repo I have got as well as I would also lose free 30 hours for my toddler and the future free 30 hours childcare for my newborn. I feel torn about it and if that pay rise would even be worth it if I get one of those jobs.
I feel slightly down due to this but I am prioritising spending quality time with my DC on mat leave. I definitely want to progress in my career and not let having a family mean taking a hit to my career. I always dreamt of progressing to a more senior role by 40.
I don't know if anyone has been in this situation and if they can share any wisdom.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 17:19

Also, I will have to arrange for child care for my baby sooner than planned meaning additional cost and less time with baby.

OP posts:
Fistle · 22/12/2024 17:22

Yes, lots of people are in the situation of choosing between a job that suits them, is local etc, and a higher-paid job with a longer commute, less flexible hours etc. Personally, I’ve always gone with ambition over ease/time with children , but there’s no standard ‘correct’ answer. Do what works for you.

nopenotplaying · 22/12/2024 17:22

I'm guessing you are a G6 in civil service. There are more benefits listed here than money. Sit tight and reevaluate once your youngest is at school.

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 22/12/2024 17:24

The Civil Service pension is much more generous than a private pension.

Stay as long as you can!

LividBauble · 22/12/2024 17:24

I’ll have your job if you don’t want it…

Inmydreams88 · 22/12/2024 17:24

I guess you would have to work out your net pay after tax, child care, commuting etc to see if it would be financially beneficial for you and your family.

You sound pretty content with your job to be honest, there’s more to life than moving up the career ladder and sometimes it’s not even worth the extra stress. Just because your friend did it is irrelevant. I assume she has her own life and a different set of circumstances.

Anyway it seems like a problem to worry about after enjoying your maternity leave.

Careerdecisions · 22/12/2024 17:28

What’s right for your friend is not necessarily right for you. Focus on what you WANT and go for that.

Fistle · 22/12/2024 17:29

Inmydreams88 · 22/12/2024 17:24

I guess you would have to work out your net pay after tax, child care, commuting etc to see if it would be financially beneficial for you and your family.

You sound pretty content with your job to be honest, there’s more to life than moving up the career ladder and sometimes it’s not even worth the extra stress. Just because your friend did it is irrelevant. I assume she has her own life and a different set of circumstances.

Anyway it seems like a problem to worry about after enjoying your maternity leave.

But maybe the OP is ambitious and wants extra responsibility, stress, higher pay? I mean, I’m not looking at potential jobs primarily in terms of if they benefit my family. My family isn’t doing the job, I’m doing it. My family will manage whichever job I have.

TribulationPeriwinkle · 22/12/2024 17:29

Your current set-up sounds much better to me - well-paid and logistically much less stressful.

snowyglobe · 22/12/2024 17:29

nopenotplaying · 22/12/2024 17:22

I'm guessing you are a G6 in civil service. There are more benefits listed here than money. Sit tight and reevaluate once your youngest is at school.

Or could have a digital skills supplement.

The tech industry is brutal right now. I wouldn’t give up the security of the civil service.

snowyglobe · 22/12/2024 17:30

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 22/12/2024 17:24

The Civil Service pension is much more generous than a private pension.

Stay as long as you can!

Also, this. The pension is the reason I stay!

Letsgocamping67 · 22/12/2024 17:33

Pension, flexi, job security, you would be mad to move now.

Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 17:52

nopenotplaying · 22/12/2024 17:22

I'm guessing you are a G6 in civil service. There are more benefits listed here than money. Sit tight and reevaluate once your youngest is at school.

@nopenotplaying yes, I am a G6 in CS. It's a
Good role, although sometimes stressful but not worth complaining about.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 17:54

With pension contribution, my pay is nearly 90k. Plus I get 30 days off. It's a reasonably secure role.

OP posts:
romdowa · 22/12/2024 17:56

Extra money isn't everything. It would mean more expensive, less time with your children and more stress. That may suit your friend but does it suit you/ your family?

EmotionalSupportBiscuit · 22/12/2024 17:59

Run your own race.

That’s it.

myfavouritemutant · 22/12/2024 18:07

Honestly by the time you put a value on your pension, annual leave and flexi time, and subtract child care and commuting costs from an alternative job, they’re probably pretty comparable. So if you’re happy in your role, plus it sounds like valuing the flex and family time it gives you, I’d stay where you are and tell your (presumably) well meaning friend a 6 figure salary wouldn’t necessarily make you better off. You can always reevaluate in 5 years / 10 years etc.

Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 18:19

I acknowledge that there are lots of benefits of public sector but I feel to progress further from my role might be tough as it gets competitive to become a Deputy director which is the next level from my role. I will have to plan my next steps when back from mat leave.

OP posts:
Isobel201 · 22/12/2024 18:19

LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 17:54

With pension contribution, my pay is nearly 90k. Plus I get 30 days off. It's a reasonably secure role.

I would stay where you are. I'm in the civil service and although I might do the odd department transfer or the in house job switch, I'm staying within the civil service.

HardenYourHeart · 22/12/2024 18:22

Don't underestimate the value of a good working situation. You say you already make enough, live close to work, work part-time, have flexibility and have 30 days of vacation. That all sounds great. I don't even have children and would go for it is in a heart-beat. Who cares that it's not six figures? In you situation I would only look for a better paid job if my finances were tight, but it doesn't seem like yours are.

I used to dream of a more senior role as well. But I have since seen a few of my coworkers get one and it means they are now busier with budgets, meetings, budget-meetings and a whole host of administrative hoopla. The more senior they get the father they are removed from the most interesting work. I no longer want it, but I would like a higher salary (if my rent goes up much more, I won't have a choice but to look for a better paid position). However, I am pretty cozy at my current employer and get a lot of freedom to my job the way I see fit. They are also pretty flexible. I won't leave them in a hurry.

BCBird · 22/12/2024 18:25

Sounds like the job you have works for you.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 22/12/2024 18:27

I am surprised you are even thinking about this. You have 2 children. Everything about your job is better than your friends new job. Enjoy your children and the flexibility you have now. Spend the next 11 yrs paying in to the excellent civil service pension. Once your children are at secondary school if you want to go for the 100k jobs go for it. You will have benefitted from the flexible working and doing 4 days whilst they are young and in Primary. It's a great salary and good perks.

Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 18:28

BCBird · 22/12/2024 18:25

Sounds like the job you have works for you.

It's a good role but I keep thinking of what next to do in my career as I am content now but there's always this longing to do something more interesting next or go for a more senior role with better pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilExhausted · 22/12/2024 18:31

HardenYourHeart · 22/12/2024 18:22

Don't underestimate the value of a good working situation. You say you already make enough, live close to work, work part-time, have flexibility and have 30 days of vacation. That all sounds great. I don't even have children and would go for it is in a heart-beat. Who cares that it's not six figures? In you situation I would only look for a better paid job if my finances were tight, but it doesn't seem like yours are.

I used to dream of a more senior role as well. But I have since seen a few of my coworkers get one and it means they are now busier with budgets, meetings, budget-meetings and a whole host of administrative hoopla. The more senior they get the father they are removed from the most interesting work. I no longer want it, but I would like a higher salary (if my rent goes up much more, I won't have a choice but to look for a better paid position). However, I am pretty cozy at my current employer and get a lot of freedom to my job the way I see fit. They are also pretty flexible. I won't leave them in a hurry.

Edited

Thanks @HardenYourHeart I agree that it's really important to value the good work life balance.
However, I have to a lot of those budget, planning and admin tasks all day every day, I don't hate it but sometimes I don't love it but I guess that's part and parcel of the role.

OP posts:
HardenYourHeart · 22/12/2024 18:33

If you already have quite a few budget and planning meetings than you must be at least a bit senior already.