To need a lot of alone time

[TopGalGotte]

I've always been happy in my own company, have always lived alone even though I've been in relationships. I have a good family and circle of friends, play tennis, which I love, so I've a fairly busy life with work etc. also.

Despite all this, I need a lot of time alone to recharge/read/ do nothing/walk. I've always been like this, but I feel even more as I've got older.

I also don't enjoy socialising with big groups - eg I enjoy playing tennis in a club but I don't enjoy the social evenings of around 100 people that happen a few times a year... prefer meeting up with a couple of people I'm friendliest with.

Another example - I'm spending Christmas day with family but I want Christmas eve to myself - which some people can't seem to understand!

AIBU and odd, or is it okay to be like this?

It's OK. There are lots of us out here who feel the same.

There's nothing wrong with you. I have found that being able to tell people what works for me and what doesn't has really helped as people don't feel offended at invites being declined.

You’re just an introvert. Completely normal.

Not strange or unusual at all. I haven’t been alone for ages (months) and that’s really not optimal for me!

It would be my dream to have your lifestyle.

You are not being unreasonable.

We are all different and “recharge” in different ways.
Personally I’m like you, I need alone time and always enjoy it. And I don’t do so well if I can’t get it. Relax, you’re fine.

Perfectly normal, that or I’m abnormal too!

I’m like this. Love time alone, peace and quiet. I need to recharge after spending time with people.

Exactly. I'm an introvert too and need lots of time alone, although I don't always get it!

Do you feel drained / exhausted after being around people? Normal introvert reaction.
I think , statistically, there are more of us introverts, than extroverts.

As long as you are comfortable with your alone time, that’s fine!

I would say I am very similar, and I am comfortable with that.

I can't get my head around the people who apparently don't need time alone (or even actively hate it).

I do like socialising though, including big groups - I learned to love them over the years. Obviously depends on the exact company. But I need a lot of alone time to recharge.

Your life sounds perfect to me!

I voted YABU by mistake (fat fingers).

I’m like this. We’re introverts. We find socialising uses up our energy. Extroverts find socialising gives them energy.

Yes. Even when we enjoy it.

I’m very sociable, and I love company, having people over for dinner, and I’m happy in big groups, but I need more than average amounts of time by myself.

YANBU. I feel exactly the same. I need regular alone time every week, and I also enjoy going on trips and holidays by myself. There is nothing wrong with being solitary.

I am also an introvert, but I watched a few YouTube shorts which suggested something along the lines that introverts don’t have strong boundaries, so they don’t feel 100% safe around people and need to be slightly on guard. They then need the down time to recharge. I think this describes me.

I’m the same. “Oh your poor thing spending Christmas Eve alone…”. It’s my bliss! Then I’m ready to spend several days with family.

That's exactly how I feel! And I'll need a few solitary days after too.

There are many of us, OP. Of course you are not unreasonable.

That’s interesting. Me too, and perhaps I find people tiring because I don’t just chill out being myself with them.

Yes, to the feeling drained. I'm not shy, can chat to anyone, but I find it a big effort sometimes.

Team OP! Just been to a lovely drinks party with lots of interesting people to talk to, but two hours enough for me. Husband still there, and that's fine.

No, I don’t think that’s true as a rule. I love people, I am socially confident, and I am absolutely myself around others, but, although I love socialising, it does deplete my energy rather than replenish it.

That’s absolutely the definition of an introvert.

Welcome to the club,