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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this an announcement?

77 replies

TidyPearlViewer · 22/12/2024 10:29

At my wedding, the best man announced him and his gf were having a baby. She was 5 months pregnant and everyone knew she was already pregnant. Was it an announcement if everyone already knew? His excuse was he was using it to tee up a story and end the narrative.

OP posts:
Chonk · 22/12/2024 10:55

OP I'm finding your posts really confusing. Are you upset that the best man showed you up at your wedding by telling everyone that you blabbed about the pregnancy to your husband?

Original poster
TidyPearlViewer · 22/12/2024 10:57

I was annoyed about it but I just wanted to check if I was in the right to be so. My husband thinks it literally doesn’t matter.

OP posts:
Goldengirl123 · 22/12/2024 10:57

You are being very unreasonable. Everyone knew she was pregnant so no, it wasn’t an announcement. Also, why on earth wouldn’t his gf be invited?

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 22/12/2024 10:58

Also bemused.
What is the point that you are seeking views on?

  • that he ‘announced’ her pregnancy? He didn’t, their friends and family knew, and the people who didn’t know her presumably didn’t give a shit
  • that his anecdote made you look bad for blabbing? It doesn’t sound as though he phrased it that way?
  • whether it is bad form to talk about anyone other than the bride or groom in his speech? This was a small aside as part of a story about you both

and bemused about the her being invited but - surely it’s just good form to invite the best man’s partner?

BrieHugger · 22/12/2024 10:59

So it wasn’t an announcement at all, he just mentioned it in his speech as part of a story about the bride and groom. Totally normal and I agree with your husband that you’re being a bit precious and making a fuss over nothing.

LittleBearPad · 22/12/2024 11:01

You'd have been very unreasonable not to invite the best man's pregnant girlfriend.

On the rest the only one being unreasonable is also you

devilspawn · 22/12/2024 11:01

Maybe in future you shouldn't invite visibly pregnant women to your events in case they or their partners happen to talk about how they're pregnant.

Dotto · 22/12/2024 11:03

It was not an announcement, it was part of an anecdote which is a normal thing in a best man's speech. I would stop looking for offence here.

Is there another reason why you don't like them?

InSpainTheRain · 22/12/2024 11:05

How long ago was this OP? I'm sorry but you seem to be really over-thinking it .I wouldn't expect a full on gender reveal of course, but he mentioned it as part of a story and ppl knew she was pregnant so not seeing the big deal.

Emotionalsupporthamster · 22/12/2024 11:06

You sound like hard work OP 🤣

Jennyathemall · 22/12/2024 11:07

OP just be honest and say you are upset because you feel they stole some of your thunder on your big day and wanted all the focus to be on you, and that you are on here desperate to be validated.

HeddaGarbled · 22/12/2024 11:07

His excuse was he was using it to tee up a story and end the narrative

Good grief, do people really talk like this? What on earth does it mean?

Fistle · 22/12/2024 11:08

Are you literally saying you didn’t know whether or not you were annoyed until Mn told you whether you were or not?

Fistle · 22/12/2024 11:11

TidyPearlViewer · 22/12/2024 10:38

He said as some of you know, we are having a baby. When the news was discovered the bride, who was sworn to secrecy, (me) told the groom…essentially a few months before they’d told everyone at someone else’s wedding. Very odd. According to him and his gf (who nobody knew) it was meant to be a way to say how wonderful we were.

My husbands defence, was that everyone knew she was pregnant anyway so it didn’t matter. Before our wedding I said to him can he brief his best man and my husband let him bring the gf. I’d only met her once.

Why are you behaving as if ‘letting’ the best man bring his partner was some kind of unusual munificence on your part? If, as one assumes, the best man is a close friend of your DH’s and he has a longterm partner, it would be very rude not to invite her.

Abd what do you mean by ‘brief’? Were you trying to curate his speech?

Ella31 · 22/12/2024 11:11

How did your wedding go otherwise
Did you enjoy the day?
Was it a lovely start to your marriage?

I ask this only because these are the questions you should be asking yourself, the rest is just white noise. Forget about this.

TempuraCustard · 22/12/2024 11:11

Jennyathemall · 22/12/2024 11:07

OP just be honest and say you are upset because you feel they stole some of your thunder on your big day and wanted all the focus to be on you, and that you are on here desperate to be validated.

Is it this? Coz literally no one will give a fuck that his wife is 5 months pregnant

Barrenfieldoffucks · 22/12/2024 11:13

Goldengirl123 · 22/12/2024 10:57

You are being very unreasonable. Everyone knew she was pregnant so no, it wasn’t an announcement. Also, why on earth wouldn’t his gf be invited?

This. How strange!

Sherararara · 22/12/2024 11:13

TempuraCustard · 22/12/2024 11:11

Is it this? Coz literally no one will give a fuck that his wife is 5 months pregnant

Show quote history

Totally agree

TeenLifeMum · 22/12/2024 11:16

Do you often look for things to get offended about or are you hoping to appear on a Charlotte Dobre reel?

NetZeroZealot · 22/12/2024 11:18

OP have you thought about having counselling for your obsessive thoughts?

Shinyandnew1 · 22/12/2024 11:19

They were 25 at the time.

When was this OP?

hamsandyams · 22/12/2024 11:21

How was he supposed to tell that anecdote without saying his wife was pregnant? It’s like saying he announced that he had known your husband for many years, or announced he went on the stag so as he told a story from then.

It’s not an announcement, it was relevant to the story he was telling about the bride and groom, so unless he paused his speech to ask for applause for his pregnant girlfriend then you’re overthinking it

Tiswa · 22/12/2024 11:23

How old is the baby now and are they still together and do you still see them

Waterbaby41 · 22/12/2024 11:25

I genuinely have no idea what your problem with this is. Get over it.

Bettyspants · 22/12/2024 11:26

TidyPearlViewer · 22/12/2024 10:54

Well he teased both of us. I may well be overthinking and confused about it. I just wanted to check on here. That was the only mention of him and his gf in the speech. The rest was about us.

I think you’ve come to the right conclusion here 🙂 it’s very easy to ‘overthink’ things which is what you seemed to have done. Don’t worry! Weddings and pregnancies are ideal life events to mull over hidden meanings.’ Enjoy your Christmas and think nothing more of it