Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Weird' for not having piercings?

63 replies

ChangeofAir · 22/12/2024 06:24

Exchanged presents with a family member yesterday, she bought be a pair of lovely earrings.

I don't have pierced ears.

Of course I did the standard thing of gushing over them and saying thank you very much, lovely, very pretty, etc, and she said 'try them on now' - I said noooo I'll keep them for a special occasion, she insisted, so then I had to explain I don't have any piercings.

She was really shocked and said everyone has pierced ears! She (lightheartedly) said I was super weird.

I'm 40, is it really that odd?!

OP posts:
Gymmum82 · 22/12/2024 06:28

I do know a couple of people without pierced ears but it’s really not the norm so I can see why she thought it was odd

Namechangeobviously2024 · 22/12/2024 06:32

I'm guessing she was embarrassed that her gift could be viewed as colossally thoughtless so tried to make out you were the unreasonable one instead.
Round my way it is absolutely mainstream to have 5 piercings in each ear, so you'd be in a minority, but calling it "odd" is daft.

Lizzypet · 22/12/2024 06:34

I'm 40s & don't have any piercings. DM has pierced ears & DS has multiple piercings & a few tattoos. I just never felt it was right for me.

ThirdStorm · 22/12/2024 06:35

I don’t. Never wanted to. I’m not a jewellery person either.

Edingril · 22/12/2024 06:37

Not everyone woman wears earrings. I don't

Why are women treated as some collective?

GrandHighPoohbah · 22/12/2024 06:38

I'd say the majority of women do have pierced ears, so she's right that it's the norm in most places. A bit not to check before buying you the earrings though.

IceStationZebra · 22/12/2024 06:40

Not unusual & they are being weird for doubling down.

think I made the same mistake with a gift for a school friend when I was about 14. Silly, but everyone gets over it!

Original poster
ChangeofAir · 22/12/2024 06:40

Namechangeobviously2024 · 22/12/2024 06:32

I'm guessing she was embarrassed that her gift could be viewed as colossally thoughtless so tried to make out you were the unreasonable one instead.
Round my way it is absolutely mainstream to have 5 piercings in each ear, so you'd be in a minority, but calling it "odd" is daft.

These were my feelings - surely not everyone is the same so I was a little hurt being thought of as odd.

Perhaps you're right and she was a little embarrassed.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 22/12/2024 06:41

I used to have pierced ears untill I took them out nearly 20 years ago now. I think a pp was right and she realised how shitty she looked and tried to turn it on you

Original poster
ChangeofAir · 22/12/2024 06:44

ThirdStorm · 22/12/2024 06:35

I don’t. Never wanted to. I’m not a jewellery person either.

I'm the same, I don't like the feel of rings or bracelets.

I wear a very thin and light engagement ring, never bought a wedding ring because I couldn't find one I could tolerate, and only wear a very lightweight necklace.

OP posts:
JamNittyGritty · 22/12/2024 06:47

i have no piercings, just never felt the need.

sesquipedalian · 22/12/2024 06:48

My DM, who loved earrings and almost always wore them, never had pierced ears. When I was young - I’m in my sixties - pierced ears were far less common. Queen Elizabeth II didn’t have her ears pierced until she was 25; Queen Camilla has never had her ears pierced. It’s a matter of personal choice.

UnNiddeRides · 22/12/2024 06:50

My mother always ranted about how her grandmother had really ugly puckered holes from when she’d had her ears pierced when young. Of course that meant that as soon as I could I had mine done. That was over 40 years ago & although I had many other holes punched in the 80s I didn’t think many did it now. eyebrows, lips, nostrils but less so earlobes.

Newname101 · 22/12/2024 06:51

I don't have any piercings, both my sisters have many. It's personal choice and no one has said its odd but I'm 40 and I think I'm a minority. I told my sons they can get piercings if they want now they are teenagers but I'm not touching it. Luckily neither has wanted one.

HowToDressYourDaughter · 22/12/2024 06:54

I'm early 40's and never bothered either! I think I'm the only one I know my age though, was definitely the odd one out at secondary. I've had people assume before and it's not something people really tend to notice. I don't usually go round staring at people ´s ears so I assume other people don't!

AhBiscuits · 22/12/2024 06:58

My DD isn't allowed piercings because of her heart condition. I have pierced ears but never ever wear earrings.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 22/12/2024 06:59

Mine aren't pierced.

Well, more accurately, I had mine done as a teenager but they got infected so I took the studs out and never tried again.

My mum, sister, niece and auntie all have theirs done. I think it's very common to have them done but that doesn't mean it's weird not to. Weird is an oddly judgemental word to use.

WomenInConstruction · 22/12/2024 06:59

I wouldn't read too much into it.

She felt awkward and blurted out the first thing that came into her head.

I don't think she was even consciously trying to turn her embarassment back on you, she's just been caught in a moment and fumbled how she handled it, it's human, it happens.

I think it was a bit awkward how you broke the news to her as well tbh, initially pretending to keep them for a special occasion.
An 'these are absolutely beautiful, what a wonderful gift. So sorry to say I can't wear them not having pierced ears, a very generous gift though, don't worry it's one of those things one wouldn't think to check isn't it, I'm sure someone else will love them'.
Would have nipped the tricky moment in the bud and likely not made her feel so silly.

Hippee · 22/12/2024 07:04

I had pierced ears but didn't wear earrings much. For some reason they closed up after one gap (no longer than any other gap in wearing them). One family member has bought me several pairs of earrings since. I find earrings, like clothing, a bit of an odd gift. She definitely buys me things to her taste not mine.

shiverm · 22/12/2024 07:10

I never got my ears pierced though my older sisters did. I think it just kind of perplexed me as a kid why everyone (everygirl) did it without really thinking about it. I was tomboy ish so maybe that's part of it? Well when I was about 21 I let a guy pierce one lobe with a safety pin (we all did it) but yuck that came out after a few weeks.

Then I saw The End We Start From with Jodi Comer and she had tiny little gold hoops and all of a sudden I want my ears pierced with those earrings.

khaitai · 22/12/2024 07:30

I don't have pierced ears and I don't think I've ever met another woman who doesn't. We're definitely the minority! I always get told I'm weird for that but I really don't care. I just say I think it's weird to punch a hole through your skin so you can dangle a bit of metal off it.

Pat888 · 22/12/2024 07:40

I have a long face and felt earrings emphasised that - but I also worked in a health role where I had to ask people to remove them and the gunk around the stems could be yuck!

Agix · 22/12/2024 08:28

I have multiple piercings... but none in the ear lobes. Does tend to confuse people! I might get them done though. No reason I havnt yet, except since I was old enough to get piercings there were ones I wanted more than lobes.

I suppose we are weird for not having then OP as its not the norm, but it's not like it's a bad thing.

BarbaraHoward · 22/12/2024 08:33

I don't think she was actually calling you weird though? Just making a lighthearted (you said it yourself) joke about her getting the present wrong.

I'm a 40yo woman, I know a lot of 40yo women, and I can only think of one who doesn't have pierced ears so yes you're unusual but obviously that's fine and it doesn't sound like she was making a value judgement. Just a bit of gentle humour to move past the awkwardness of an unsuitable gift.

MaryGreenhill · 22/12/2024 08:34

I wonder if she was embarrassed and tried to make light of it

Swipe left for the next trending thread