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Original poster

'Weird' for not having piercings?

63 replies

ChangeofAir · 22/12/2024 06:24

Exchanged presents with a family member yesterday, she bought be a pair of lovely earrings.

I don't have pierced ears.

Of course I did the standard thing of gushing over them and saying thank you very much, lovely, very pretty, etc, and she said 'try them on now' - I said noooo I'll keep them for a special occasion, she insisted, so then I had to explain I don't have any piercings.

She was really shocked and said everyone has pierced ears! She (lightheartedly) said I was super weird.

I'm 40, is it really that odd?!

OP posts:
Abandonedbypals · 22/12/2024 08:37

I'm an 80s kid and my parents were so terrified about HIV they wouldn't let us have pierced ears...As an adult, I haven't ever felt I wanted to get them done- I think earrings look a bit weird tbh.

Your story is hugely embarrassing. For her! I bet she felt ridiculous, especially if she made a big deal about you trying them on.

hopelessholly1 · 22/12/2024 08:40

she properly was embarrassed. Most women I know have pierced ears but I know a fair few who aren't pierced. I wouldn't gift earrings without being sure.

WillowTit · 22/12/2024 08:42

i did have, when a teenager
but havent used them since they started itching

Cynic17 · 22/12/2024 08:43

I'm much older than you, OP, and have no piercings, not even my ears. Just the thought of it makes me cringe! It's probably a minority thing, but so what? I'm not the only one, it's my choice and nobody has ever said it's "weird"!

EmpressaurusKitty · 22/12/2024 08:43

I had mine done when I was about 11 but I haven’t worn earrings for about 30 years now.

I loved them as a teenager so I suppose it was worth it for that.

NantesElephant · 22/12/2024 08:46

She couldn’t be bothered to check if you had pierced ears, but instead of apologising, as any decent person would, she’s blamed you.

Has she offered to replace them with something more suitable? I would request that. Hopefully if she has regifted them, she will have to actually spend some money on you.

WillowTit · 22/12/2024 08:53

i suggest you regift them, or donate to charity, or ebay them

SuperfluousHen · 22/12/2024 08:54

I got my ears pierced later than most (30s) and I wish I hadn’t. One ear is fine but the other was problematic from day 1

Had to stop wearing earrings entirely a few years after I got them done and even now 30+ years later it still randomly gets hot and sore. I wish I’d never pierced them.

edited to add
one of my grandmothers was quite a snappy dresser in her day and never pierced her ears - I’ve got a few of her very glam vintage clip-ons which are tolerable for short periods. Really though I don’t bother anymore.

Cooriedoon · 22/12/2024 08:56

I don't have any piercings. I don't like the feel of jewellery, sensory thing.
My SIL seems to think I do though as she buys me earrings every year. It's gone on a bit too long to say anything (I used to have pierced ears but not for like 20 years!)

RosesAndHellebores · 22/12/2024 08:59

I think you were a bit weird gushing and saying you'd try them later. Why didn't you just say"oh they're lovely, but my ears aren't pierced". I'd have found your reaction very insincere and a bit weird.

You aren't weird not yo have pierced ears.

Bogginsthe3rd · 22/12/2024 09:01

Everyone's different. I don't have pierced ears but do have a pierced nape of neck.

bloodredfeaturewall · 22/12/2024 09:03

if you really like them and they are worth it you could have them converted into clips.

no, not usual but exeedingly rare not to have piercings or tatoos.

Planesmistakenforstars · 22/12/2024 09:16

Very few women I know have the old-style lobe piercings of the kind you would wear a pair of earrings in. And probably 50/50 visible piercings of other kinds. Incredibly weird to me to assume someone has pierced ears.

AliTheMinx · 22/12/2024 09:20

I'm 46 and don't have any piercings. I think I'm one of the only people I know in my friend/colleague circle of a similar age to not have pierced ears.

BMW6 · 22/12/2024 09:24

Well she's plain wrong - lots of us don't have pierced ears!

EmpressOfTheThread · 22/12/2024 09:26

Edingril · 22/12/2024 06:37

Not everyone woman wears earrings. I don't

Why are women treated as some collective?

This. Not every woman has pierced ears or wants them. She ought to have checked. If she knew you at all, she would have been aware.

RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 22/12/2024 09:27

I am 55 and don’t have pierced ears, lots of people assume i do….no idea why as i have very short hair, my ears are completely exposed 😀 and ive know most of these women for years

dd was 19 when she got her ears done and they made a real fuss of her in the peircing studio 😀

Makingchocolatecake · 22/12/2024 09:29

I didn't get mine done until about 26 (just for my wedding) but they've closed up because I took them out when I had a baby (she was grabby!).

Did get cartilage done at 19 but don't use it.

I wouldn't buy someone earrings unless I knew they wore them. Get a necklace instead.

cariadlet · 22/12/2024 09:29

I think it's unusual but that's not the same as odd.

When I was younger, I had 4 piercings in each ear and 1 in my nose. I can't be bothered with jewellery these days and haven't worn earrings for years so the holes have closed up.

If anyone gave me earrings for a present, I'd struggle to put them in.

LostInTheMoonlight · 22/12/2024 09:36

It sounds like she was embarrassed for buying you something which you couldn’t use and tried to ‘blame’ you.

I had my ears pierced as a very young child. Thanks mum. 🤨 I haven’t wore earrings since I had a choice, probably from when I was about 12. I know lots of women who don’t have pierced ears and more who do, but don’t wear earrings.

RicStar · 22/12/2024 09:36

I don't have mind done, my sisters and daughters do, I just never wanted to, I agree we are the minority and in a sense "culturally weird" but it's odd to use that word for someone else! it was probably a tom boy thing for me as well / I could never be bothered as I got older.

I think in general people would just assume I have - I wear quite a bit of jewellery now, I have been given earrings a couple of times, and tried like you just to say "thank you" and re gift later luckily no one tried to make me try them on.

Onelifeonly · 22/12/2024 09:40

Sorry but I think it was odd of you to gush over them and say you'd keep them for a special occasion. She made a mistake, which is understandable as the vast majority of women do have pierced ears, but you lied (unless the special occasion was for someone else's birthday present, but she couldn't have possibly taken it that way). Why not say, "Oh I'm really sorry but I don't have pierced ears. Thank you for the lovely thought but please keep them for someone else"?

Adelstrop · 22/12/2024 09:45

Nope. Never fancied it. Weird and proud,

yikesanotherbooboo · 22/12/2024 09:48

I'm in my 60s and have never had pierced ears ; my DM never did either. DSis did but they closed up years ago. It is culturally normal in some ethnic groups and age groups but far from weird not to be pierced .

Biffbaff · 22/12/2024 09:49

I don't have mine done and I have been bought earrings as presents on a number of occasions. I just say thank you but my ears aren't pierced.

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