To think my business idea would be popular

[Imperrysmum]

Do you ever get paranoid that your home smells but you can’t tell because you’ve become nose blind to it?

Here’s my idea;

Customers in my area can log on and book a visit slot, they pay £10 and I then turn up to their home and simply tell them whether it smells or not.

The business model isn’t designed to be helpful if it turns out that your house does in fact smell lol, it’s more for peace of mind that it doesn’t smell.

Would you pay £10 for peace of mind that your house does not smell?

Who Nose?

You could do the full Jilly Goolden.

"Gosh, this is a ripe living room. I'm getting... damp carpet patch, a slightly burned electrical plug, and maybe the merest hint of salt and vinegar crisps from the sofa. As for your teenage son's bedroom, there's a strong note of Lynx Africa, but it's not too much to overpower the earthy aroma of crusty socks".

That’s a good one… tagline could be:

I do, and now you do too.

Yearly packages available - 4 visits for one low fee of only £30.

You just need honest friends like me, I would tell you if it smelt like dog for free (if I was your friend I’m not opening myself up for visiting randomers I’m sure there’s some fetish in this somewhere)

It could be a helpful service for patients with long covid. I still have anosmia (no sense of smell) several months later. I have no idea if my home or clothing smell fresh at the moment. You could also sell smell training kits as an optional extra.

Would you do emergency call-outs?

Sometimes my house smells of stale smoke and I’m not sure whether it’s me or it genuinely does smell funny. You’d need to be there within the hour as it disappears rather quickly.

Or

"Who Nose?" (DR Who Nose if you're feeling flash)

and the tagline

"I nose, and now you nose too".

My very houseproud friend's beautiful house smelled of cat food when I was last there and I didn't say a word. Mine undoubtably smells of it too.

You couldn’t make any m9ney having to travel somewhere, find the actual residence and travel back for ten pounds.

Sounds like a field day for racists.

Go outside for 10 minutes then come back in. If it smells of wet dog/ farting dog/ dog in general you'll smell it.

No, if I’m unsure I’ll just open the windows. We run an air purifier in the rooms we hang out anyway.

This is a genuinely excellent idea. I'd need you to sniff different rooms though, and also my car. If you could book in 2-3 visits a year please for peace of mind. Brilliant

Is this a joke? First off, if I was paying for this service then I'd want to see your qualifications that makes you such an expert.

Secondly, I wouldn't just want you to tell me that it smelt, I'd want to know precisely what it smelt of and what I could do about it.

There's no way I would pay £10 for that service, and there's no way you would make enough money on £10 a visit anyway to make it work - how many houses would you need to visit to make it worthwhile doing it?

Finally, it's no good asking about this on mumsnet, because as an earlier post proves, they do not allow visitors into their home anyway.

Haha, She Nose

I know the answer already alas, despite my dodgy sense of smell since Covid, thanks to my elderly and incontinent cats. When they eventually shuffle off this mortal coil everything is getting professionally deep cleaned or replaced!

I have only ever been in 1 house where I can remember actively wanting to crawl out of my skin and run away. It was a viewing for a house up for sale, never smelled anything like it but the owner did say the sewer under the house had collapsed afterwards.

I have been in a few that smell of smoke, curry, damp, incense etc... but I don't necessarily find those smells awful, they usually are representative of life style.

Who gets to decide whats 'bad'?

Wouldn't most people just ask a visiting friend? My current house stank when I moved in. After gutting the place and completely redecorating I was still paranoid. So, I just asked friends and family when they visited (they are honest!)

I mean I wouldn’t quit my job to embark on this

£10 to cover travel costs fuel insurance. Your margins will be tiny. How many bookings would you expect a day?

Its certainly niche

What is dog arse smell? 😭

My dog has the classic wotsit feet smell, I can smell it but I don't care, it's not terrible but that's what I thought you meant with being more for pet owners... And now I'm paranoid that my house smells like dog arse?!

At the start, I wouldn't have paid but you've successfully made me paranoid enough that I'd even pay more than £10 😂

Please go on dragons den with this.🤣🤣

Yea I'd be fascinated to know what my house smells like to strangers. Excluding after cooking.

If you can't trust yourself to know if your own house smells - then I am not sure this is your super power and.. if you animals - your house smells.

My emergency call out service, that I would provide locally, would be humane spider removal.

Night or day, I'll take the critters away.

I'd give them sanctuary in my garden. I've got all the nets and boxes.

Go on start it and report back to us how many people fall for it

I know this sounds totally crazy but I just air the place