To think my business idea would be popular

[Imperrysmum]

Do you ever get paranoid that your home smells but you can’t tell because you’ve become nose blind to it?

Here’s my idea;

Customers in my area can log on and book a visit slot, they pay £10 and I then turn up to their home and simply tell them whether it smells or not.

The business model isn’t designed to be helpful if it turns out that your house does in fact smell lol, it’s more for peace of mind that it doesn’t smell.

Would you pay £10 for peace of mind that your house does not smell?

I will also sniff the person for an extra £5

The Honest Sniffer

Tells It Like It Smells

Whoever Smelt It

Would you branch out into other areas? Breath for instance?

Most houses have a smell, so I’d really be looking to know whether the smell was pleasant, neutral, or negative (eg. damp, poo, rotten eggs, sweat).

If there's dog shit in the hallway everyone would probably say it honks but what if the house just had a smell you weren't a fan of?

So would you shove your nozzle into their armpits? Or just do a general waft test? I'd need specifics before hiring you for any of this, to be honest.

@GauntJudy was just about to suggest this. Maybe also a mobile BO service.

For £10 they don’t get qualifications besides me having a working nose

Call it "smell & tell"

I had my friend around the other weekend and asked her if it smells. I have two cats and all I seem to smell is piss and poo. She said she didn't smell anything so it's all in my head.

I’m fairness, if a friend asked me if their house smelled, I wouldn’t tell them that it smelled of cat piss.

Scaling up the business

Call the midwhiff

Maybe post this out to a few people who live near you offering £5 to smell your house? It would save you a lot of money, rather than trying to offer a service to people who don’t know what your personal taste is or smell.

Then you aren't friends. What's the point of friendship if you can't be honest.

OP I would at least charge minimum wage. If you offer your services in an apartment block you might get group bookings.

I love this. Im genuinely considering setting this business up. Either i’ve lost the plot or this is actually a great idea. For the price of a couple of coffees why wouldn't you want to know if your house smelt.

I would’ve paid a small fortune recently when we sold our home. I always have a strong sniff when I come back home after hours outdoors, trying to catch any odd smells. I’m a little obsessed. Add a little £5 extra for ‘do my clothes smell funny’.

Honestly speaking though, the problem with this idea are the freak men who would get off on making a woman smell something disgusting. How would you screen potential clients?

I’d be on more than minimum wage. Im not hanging around. The appointment is under 5 minutes.

Im literally just going in, sniffing and saying if it smells or not with a brief description of what it smells like. So Id say im on a pretty good rate.

You could have a menu of smell checks.

Basic house smell - £10
Body smell check - additional £5
Breath per person - additional £5 (danger money)
Feet - £7.50 (£3.75 in case a client is a unidexter)

Full package special offer - £24

Why do you feel that you have the superior nose?

I want to know how you'd factor in:
massive, recent shits.
massive curried salads.
smoking a cheeky (massive) doobie
pets that may or may not be massive. Chihuahuas etc honk.

God Only Nose

Homearoma

Odour Decoder

Id wear a bodycam

How about travel. I'd offer to write a report to milk it properly.