To ask my colleague if he's single?

[Mahanii]

And if so, how?
We've been flirting but I have no idea if he's even single.

Why don’t you ask him what’s he’s doing for Christmas this year? Might give an indication if he’s single or not.

Ask him if he's seeing anyone special over Christmas.

He may say "he hopes so", because he still believes in Father Christmas...😳

Easiest and quickest is to just ask? Are you single or are you just flirting with me for fun? I’d want to know before I wasted any more time, if you think he’s someone you’d like to pursue something with.

Ask about his Christmas plans. Any partner is sure to feature in them somewhere.

We're off work for 2 weeks so this has got to be over text. I'm tempted to just jump in and ask are you single? I'm not known for being subtle!

Ask what he’s got his partner for Christmas?

Ask him if he's around and fancies a festive drink over the Xmas break?

The response will give you an indication of single/not and also interested/not.

Eg:
A) Yes, how about 27th (super keen! Go for it)
B) I'm staying away all Christmas but let's definitely put a date in the diary for Jan - it would be good to meet up outside of work (again, Kenny
c)) I'm away with my wife/girlfriend - have a great Xmas (back off!)
D) I'm pretty back to back with plans this Christmas I'm afraid. See you in the office next year (not interested)

I don't want to ask about his partner because I've heard on the grapevine that he was widowed.
I just want to ask if he's single!

*again, keen

You could ask if he's finished his Xmas shopping and then ask how many people he has to buy for... see if he says wife / gf / in laws / kids etc

Well widowed is a whole different thing. The factually accurate answer might be yes, single; but heart whole, open and available, not so much.

I know....so should I not ask?

I think you should ask if wants to meet up for a festive drink. In my experience, if a man is interested he lets you know. If you’re confused then he’s not. If he is widowed, I would proceed slowly.

I wouldn't personally be flirting with a colleague at all, and definitely not when we're all supposed to be taking a break from work. Throw in potentially widowed, and well, what is your goal here?

To risk getting involved with someone you work with, and the potential workplace consequences of that; with someone who may come with a significant backstory: it would have to be the greatest love story of all time.

In which case, there's zero need to force things, it will happen anyway, on a natural timescale. But, it's probably not that, is it?

Just make sure you are clear about your goal and have a plan for all possible outcomes.

There are some lovely, decent but shy ones out there. And any subtle questions like 'are you spending the holidays with anyone special ' or 'buying for anyone special will not weed out the married or couples up ones you want to weed out. The really decent ones will mention their wife or partner early on, but the others ... not so much.

Tricky, isn't it?

Maybe ask him if he would like to have a drink or coffee or something over the break. In person, then you can mention you hesitated suggesting this because you didn't want to step on any toes. Take it from there.

And enjoy this does he doesn't he phase.

Good luck.

Oh that's not fair of you! Why do you say that anyway?

Just ask him for a drink! What have you got to lose?

(I am assuming that you have considered whether or not dating a colleague is acceptable in your workplace - i know this varies quite a lot, and that fact often cokes up on threads like this).

So someone with ADHD can't have a relationship or consider having one?

Ok

No. Don't shit where you eat.