To ask my colleague if he's single?

[Mahanii]

And if so, how?
We've been flirting but I have no idea if he's even single.

I'd agree with this sorry OP.

Get yourself back on an evening keel, and then start looking at romance. Now isn't the time.

I'm not sure I'll ever be (or have ever been) on an even keel. I'm not sure ADHD is known for even keels. Surely that doesn't mean I must stay celibate forever?
I am rethinking the colleague bit though, it's a fair point about shitting where you eat.

This is a miserable outlook, but correct. You know what they say - don’t shit on your own doorstep.

Honestly it almost always ends badly. I understand where you're coming from, I have ADHD too. It sounds like you have a few other issues on top of the ADHD to work through also?

I have ADHD and ASD and am happily married with kids so I’m not at all saying because you have ADHD you shouldn't have a relationship, but you do need to sort out your situation first with regards to driving, messy home and relationship with your kids. All possible with ADHD, I struggle too but find the right coping mechanisms and systems and it’ll help a lot. Concentrate on yourself first then go for a relationship.

Just leave him be.

I think that my difficulties at home are mainly related to being a single parent with ADHD, to kids with ADHD. I don't think that's going to change. I don't see that as a reason to remain single, I'll still be the same person in a year's time, there's no fix as such.

It sounds like you have a complicated life with multiple ongoing challenges which require your full attention. Therefore it's not a good time to enter into a relationship, much less one with a colleague. You don't have a stable grounded life from which you can trust yourself to make good choices. Keep the big picture in view.

It's a shame those posters with knowledge of your previous thread(s) were deleted - they have a wider perspective, which is more valuable to you than those of us who are only responding to your 'should I ask him' question here.

Why did they get deleted?

Bloke here... single... (i left 👍)
Ask him... Don't couch it in terms where he might not be able to read between the lines 😃 Some of us just much prefer the direct approach 😃👍

Don't do it. You don't shit where you eat. That is a no brainer.

you could word it as do you want a cuppa or coffee at some point ?

if its a previously banned poster sometimes mumsnet pulls all the comments of that user

@InterestedDad37 would a driving ban, a messy house and an ADHD diagnosis put you off though 😂

First things first ... have a date and see how it goes 😀
Good luck 🤗 Hope everything works out.

I disagree with the no colleagues thing. Unless you're in an occupation/business where it's specifically not allowed, then lots of people meet their partners at work. I met my DH at work and there were half-a-dozen other couples who met and married at that business while we were there, plus plenty of others who dated and it didn't work out but with no big dramas or consequences. Course OP should be mindful of mixing work and pleasure but being a colleague doesn't automatically discount him from the prospective dating list.

I'm guessing you've already done the mandatory checks and stalked him on SM?

SM has to be private due to our nature of work.
I'd made up my mind last night to let it go due to the whole shitting where you eat thing, but tonight I'm in fuck it mode!