To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

Nobody mentioned morals until you brought it up.

But since you did:

It is indisputable that a plant based diet is much less damaging to the environment and animals than standard diets.

No matter how much you moan about the air miles of vegetables, the same will be true of all the vegetable protein fed to livestock. Usually grown in the former Amazon rainforest.

And it takes a bare minimum of 9 calories of vegetable protein to farm 1 calorie of animal protein. You’re growing food to feed the food, and if you eat meat are therefore responsible for the farming of far more plant produce than vegans are.

First sentence of the OP says they are strictly vegan for moral reasons.

I guess the vast majority are comparing the spread to a more traditional Christmas meal and feeling it doesn't compare favourably but the 'feast' version of these foods is absolutely delicious and if it's what your family prefer then it's what they should have.

I'd stick to my guns if I were you, OP. None of those dishes need chicken and it's rude to make your host uncomfortable (and potentially nauseous!) on Xmas day.

Farmers can’t afford to feed their animals vegetable protein imported from S America.

When I invite someone to my home for a meal, I do my best to plan a menu that I know they will enjoy. That is a big part of being a good host, surely?

That doesn't mean that I expect them to like every element of the meal, but certainly the main part of it, and I think that for the majority of regular meat-eaters, that meat is the main part and the rest are just accompaniments.

I agree with those saying they would let someone bring along some already cooked chicken, if that is important to them. The alternative, that the sister stays at home and eats it there instead, isn't going to have the slightest affect whatsoever on any real or perceived animal cruelty, as the animal will have already died wherever it is consumed.

While I do understand the OP not really wanting any dead animal in their home (though as someone else said, do they check every tradesman /visitors' shoes and turn them away if they are made of leather?), surely there is room for a little compromise here.

It's an excellent point, and it's a fact.

Nobody is making the vegan eat meat, and asserting that vegans have a superior 'right' to have their preferences catered for is plain rude.

If a vegan goes to a meat-eating house for a meal, and receives that meal according to their preference, does it mean the host must eat a vegan meal too or the vegan guests will refuse to eat with them??

It's also rude to make your guest feel uncomfortable!!

And that doesn't mean that your view isn't nonsense.

What do you want me to say? You think it’s nonsense - fine. Keep thinking that. No skin off my nose.

Ok, that's a lot more than I thought, thank you. I thought pasta and noodles had egg in them and that lots of bread had milk or egg in it.

It’s not making a guest uncomfortable to say “Actually no, you can’t commandeer my oven to cook something I don’t even want in the house”. That’s called being an arsehole guest.

I have just asked vegetarian (not vegan) DD if she would mind if someone did this. She said she wouldn't want a chicken cooked in her oven, but she wouldn't object to a piece of cooked chicken being reheated in the microwave.

Op, is your dsis a bit of a fussy eater?

My reason for asking is that I very unfortunately am - it's an absolute pain and so wish I wasn't - and much as your menu sounds great for most people, I couldn't eat any of it.😥

However, if I was invited for Christmas lunch I would politely decline the dining part but arrange to visit when the family weren't eating instead. Perhaps just for drinks? ( Don't mind a drop of vegan wine 😁)

Can't understand why your dsis hasn't suggested this. I don't think it acceptable for her to bring her own meat at all and certainly not to contaminate your oven.

It's still not fair on op though their vegan

You're not being unreasonable at all, why does she think it's okay to bring a dead chicken into your house? I'd be ragin

She sounds sensible. Knows her mind but also adapts to other's needs.

Nobody mentioned morals until you brought it up.

Er, no @WishinAndHopin The OP brought up morals in her 1st post.

Reading is your friend.

OP there’s nothing wrong with your menu - Christmas dinner doesn’t have to be meat and veg if you don’t want!

I think you are very kind to invite her over but I would explain that you don’t want to cook meat in the house for ethical reasons.

Would you mind if she bought some cold meat with her? If she really can’t go without for one day?

This thread is hilarious, can you imagine the reaction if someone's MIL or such brought an alternative meal to their house because she didn't think their food was good enough? Turning up to a meal with your own food is fucking rude.

There's nothing wrong with saying you're vegan for moral reasons though? Vegans seem fairly evenly split as to whether they are choosing the lifestyle for ethical or for health reasons and the two groups focus on different things (benefits to animals/the environments vs benefits to their own bodies, I guess). It was important to know which the OP is as there would be no reason for a 'health vegan' not to allow meat in her home. I'm sure some do it for a mix of reasons but knowing why was relevant to the answers.

I know what you mean, I’m just pointing out that lots of people think they’re eating local without actually checking whether their veg has been imported from South Africa / Israel / Brazil etc.

Have you surveyed lots of folk on their eating habits then?

Exactly!

It’s not “sensible”, it’s her choice. And eating meat isn’t a “need”, it’s a preference. Nobody will die if they eat a vegetarian or vegan meal once in a while.

i wouldn’t expect a Jewish household that keeps kosher to adapt to a guests “need” for a bacon sandwich. Or a Muslim household to adapt to a guest’s “need” for a beer with their meal.

I wouldn’t expect a gluten free household to allow someone to bring their own bread dough to cook in the oven either.

re. Vegetarians being catered for in meat eating households and not vice versa- well newsflash meat is a preference not a need as well. Vegetarians are still providing a meal, if you don’t like it that’s different to providing something you cannot eat, for whatever reason.

as beloved on mumsnet it’s an invite not a summons. If it’s really such an issue that you can’t go somwhere, enjoy the company if not the food, then don’t go. Don’t start laying conditions like you have to bring alcohol or meat or bread, because that’s your preference.

My initial reply remains.