To wear Pandora bracelets my ex husband bought me?

[TeaAndCake28]

I have been split from ex husband 8 years and divorced 5. When we were married he bought me a few Pandora bracelets that are pretty nice. New boyfriend (of 3 years) says if I wear them it means I still love him? I had to take it off the other day because boyfriend was getting short with me over it. I absolutely do not still love exh, but the bracelets are nice. Should I still wear them?

You need to ditch the controlling BF and wear the bracelets

Madness. Get rid of the bf. What kind of controlling crap is that?

Think the 1st reply nailed it to be honest.

Wear your bracelets and get rid of the psycho boyfriend.

YABU for not ditching twat "BF"

I think with this type of thing I'd try to head it off with a reasonable conversation and say - I've grown attached to these bracelets but because they're nice and I've worn them for years, not for any attachment to ex-H, so I hope you know there's nothing to feel awkward about here. If he insists then he's going to have to be a bit more specific about what his concern is.

Ditch him. accept this shit, it won’t get any better.

If that would have been a wedding band or engagement ring, I would understand. But those are bracelets...

If that would have been a car, air fryer, dishwasher, house, horse [insert anything here] (present from ex-h), would he say the same?

Keep the bracelet, ditch the new boyfriend. He is a controlling arse.

Totally agree

I knew I wasn't being unreasonable really, but he is sooo adament it means I still love ex husband. I am autistic so never quite know if I am acting "normal" or thinking "normal" about things, so need reassurance and advice sometimes. I can't stand him anyway. So glad we don't live together.

My DP ( we are now actually engaged) still occasionally wears a watch his ex wife got him around 15 years ago. I don't mind as it's actually an amazing watch.

Just wondering how he even knows? Did he ask you, or was it something you told him in an unkind way ie. My ex got me these, why don’t you ever buy me anything nice?

He said "who bought you those?" when I was wearing them, and I told him. He immediately got in a huff and said it means I still love exh. Starting saying what would I do if he was wearing things his ex wife bought him. I said I didn't care. He then started being off with me for the rest of the day until I took them off.

Well, if you can’t stand him it’s all a bit of a moot point.

He's thinks wearing a nice bracelet is proof of an emotional attachment to the gift giver?

Insisting you remove it you say?

So his logic goes...

• Pretty bracelet worn = love still felt
• Remains in relationship with woman despite believing she loves someone else
• Insists bracelet is removed
• Behold! The feelings of love his partner feels are gone and all is well in the land of romance.

Usually prone to magical thinking is he?

In reality it goes

• Man sees his woman wearing item given to her by another man
• Man experiences emotional discomfort about this, but is too emotional illiterate and unself aware to recognise this, or, recognises he is 'pissed off' but doesn't want to admit it. * Man wants the emotional discomfort to go away but instead of having a word with himself about this ridiculous reaction, makes up some twaddle to discomfort the woman until she removes the visual reminder* of the previous man.

What a dick

Get rid of him OP. Don’t try to find a reason or explain his behaviour.
This type of behaviour just gets worse.

He is being unreasonably jealous and manipulated you into doing something you didn't want (removing bracelets) - massive red flag. Next thing he is going to tell you not to wear that dress, but the other one - the one he likes, etc. Slowly taking control over you.

Good on you for recognizing that. Very often a person in this situation would not see it.

I would run

🥴🤯😵‍💫🫨

If you can't stand him call it a day and save yourself the Xmas present.

Or just tell him to fuck off and stop being a controlling prick rather than pussy foot around him.

And you're with him because...🤔
🚩

I feel trapped in this god awful relationship to be honest. He turns up at my place if I try to end things or harrasses me. I cant stop him and as I have kids dont want that to happen. Its not like we can hide away and ignore the door, its a tiny bungalow.

You need to break up with him. Not because of the bracelets (though it helps) but because you can’t stand him. As reasons go, it is number one.

Your boyfriend is a controlling wanker. Get rid of him not the bracelets.

That behaviour is a crime:

You send him a factual message, you don’t want to continue the relationship, please don’t contact me.

Arrange for any items he may have at your property to be collected/returned.

If he does come to your home, don’t answer the door/tell him to leave. You can always contact the police if it continues.