To dread cooking the blasted turkey every year?

[Mrswhatsit40]

It's always dry and tasteless no matter what I do. I'm generally very laidback but this is the worst bit about Christmas for me - worrying about cooking the turkey. Worrying it's going to defrost properly in time then wrangling with a beast the size of a large toddler, removing the disgusting giblets, then in and out of the oven for hours from 9am onwards basting, giving myself third degree burns in the process, stuffing inside or not blah blah.

What the the absolute BEST way you cook your turkey to avoid meat dryer than a nuns crotch? And please don't suggest that Jamie Oliver thing of smearing butter underneath the skin bc I tried it last year and it was impossible (disclaimer:I am not a great cook).

Help me please oh wise MN-er's so I can sleep tonight..what's your failsafe tip for tender turkey? Or does it not exist?

YANBU: It's a pain in the bloody arse and turkey tastes terrible no matter what
YABU: It's easy to cook a nice turkey and you are clearly doing it all wrong

Frozen turkey is always rank - you need a fresh one and a tonne of bacon

We do an organic free-range Kelly Bronze every year, and though it costs more, it's always delicious. I vaguely follow an old Mary Berry recipe for French Roast chicken that involves basting it with stock and it's made such a difference compared to the dry turkeys I cooked before I found it. Moist and succulent and wouldn't dream of doing it any other way now.

I don't know how/why people say turkey is dry. It's only dry if you've overcooked it, surely? I suspect people cook them for way too long.

Mine is a huge 8kg turkey to feed about 16 people and I will give it about 4 hours. Put it in at 9am - take it out at 1pm.

COVER IN FOIL and a teatowel/towel and leave it to rest til 2pm when we'll eat.

That means you can cook your roast potatoes, sausages, parsnips, pigs in blankets - whatever else - in the oven AFTER the turkey is already finished.

You can cook it breast side down for the first 2 - 3 hours if you like, but mine will be too big to heave over onto it's back again, and I never find it dry.

The easy way is in a turkey roasting bag, they sell them beside the big foil trays

Spoonful of flour and a good shake if salt and pepper, and then close the bag and give it a good shake so it coats the inside. Then in with the turkey,
turn it around half way because ovens aren’t always even.

If you cut the bag open carefully, you can lift out the turkey, gather the bag back up and snip the corner to transfer the juices into a pot to make gravy. Minimal mess.

Let the turkey rest under tinfoil and a big bath towel for at least an hour, so the juices are reasoned into the meat.

Frozen will be fine! Do you have room in the fridge for it to defrost in there? If so, allow 24 hours for every 2 kilos.

I always have a detailed time plan for cooking the dinner. I used to rewrite it every year, but then a few years ago I did it in a spreadsheet. All I have to do is check it every year and tweak if we are having anything slightly different. I print it off and leave where everyone can see it so when anyone in the family feels like helping out they can see what needs doing and pitch in.

Will try and attach a picture of my plan

JUCIEST turkey EVER:

The THREE B's!!
Brine
Baste
BBL

Video here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzwFUsAuUvO/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Get a turkey crown or breast joint that comes in a tin and bung it in the oven for 1.5 hours. Jobs done.

Then focus on the actual nice bits!

We put it in a roasting tin , then put foil over the whole thing , making it like a steam tent. Then, after removing from the oven leave it in its tent, to absorb juices.

Spend a tenner on a meat thermometer and say goodbye to dry, overcooked meat.

Recipe:

Put turkey in oven
Cook until done - 72C
Cover and rest while you cook spuds, etc

If someone in my house kicks off, they are offered to bloody do it themselves. We've had a variety of dishes over the years - roast chicken with mustard and honey gravy goes down a treat. But we've also tried pheasants (pretty much a gamy chicken) and roast beef. Goose was a big disappointment.
Or you can go continental and make some fish or German sausages with sauerkraut and roast potatoes.
I don't know who came up with this turkey nonsense anyway.

Cooking upside down helps. But honestly just don't bother. I'm doing gammon this year.

You are an inspiration! I’m more of a wing it type but I may nick that plan…

Thanks everyone who’s contributed ideas - I’m going to watch a few clips of Phil and Delia and Nigella and everyone so I feel more confident. And I’ve added streaky bacon to my Tesco shop. Also considering a large plastic bucket for brining on Amazon 😂

I haven't read all the replies so sorry if you've already had these tips ...

1. We cook our turkey upside down so the breast meat doesn't dry out.

1. We use a meat thermometer to check when to take it out of the oven - it needs much less time than you think.

Always buy without giblets. Put a whole block off butter up the cavity (not faffing with under the skin) - add a whole garlic too.

In a foil roasting tray, with a stock pot and about an inch of water.

Foil over it for 2 hours. Foil off for the rest of the time.

Never dry...

Rest it for around two hours. Makes all the difference. Also, do not go by the timings on the packaging, it is often too long. Agree with pp who recommended a meat thermometer.

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/turkey/cooking-the-turkey/

Ive added a thermometer too as so many have recommended. Now at least il look like I know what I’m doing!

The best way to avoid dry turkey is not to cook a turkey. A 2kg duck will feed 4 and it takes about 1½ hours to cook. But if things go wrong and you have to leave it in the oven for another hour it will hardly make a bit of difference. Also the fat makes brilliant gravy, and depending on timing you can maybe salvage some of it to put on the roast potatoes.

If you have more than 4 guests, get 2 ducks. Leftover duck is delicious too.

I just realised that we have had duck for Christmas for the last 30 years!

In our home we gave up turkey tears ago. Now we enjoy other special meals at Christmas. Favourites are beef or salmon wellington. One year we did a whole Lebanese feast. But we’re going to family this year so it’s back to turkey and sprouts.

YABU.

You don't like turkey so you still order turkey.

This makes you really a martyr to your own daftness.

No one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to have a turkey. Christmas will not be ruined if you bin the turkey traditional in favour of something you actually would prefer.

Why are you doing this to yourself and then complaining about it?!

Seriously I don't get this.

I think you can get huge crowns though. I am pretty sure our crown serves at least 12, maybe more?
I just literally follow the instructions on the packaging and it is never dry.
The biggest thing seems to be the resting. I usually end up resting for between 30 minutes and an hour under foil and some clean towels and ir makes a huge difference and also makes your oven jiggling life easier too!

i don't know who came up with this turkey nonsense anyway.

I know, curse them.

Small crown and a small joint of an alternative meat. You'll have enough then. And not just bastard turkey. You can fit two smaller joints in the oven together.

Try something new then.
If family don’t like it they can go buy a cheap turkey after Christmas and cook you a turkey dinner.

Hint: They don't speak English properly. It was then adopted by the British.

Turkey is not the tradition in other European countries.

Buy a large chicken and tell them it's a small turkey.