To dread cooking the blasted turkey every year?

[Mrswhatsit40]

It's always dry and tasteless no matter what I do. I'm generally very laidback but this is the worst bit about Christmas for me - worrying about cooking the turkey. Worrying it's going to defrost properly in time then wrangling with a beast the size of a large toddler, removing the disgusting giblets, then in and out of the oven for hours from 9am onwards basting, giving myself third degree burns in the process, stuffing inside or not blah blah.

What the the absolute BEST way you cook your turkey to avoid meat dryer than a nuns crotch? And please don't suggest that Jamie Oliver thing of smearing butter underneath the skin bc I tried it last year and it was impossible (disclaimer:I am not a great cook).

Help me please oh wise MN-er's so I can sleep tonight..what's your failsafe tip for tender turkey? Or does it not exist?

YANBU: It's a pain in the bloody arse and turkey tastes terrible no matter what
YABU: It's easy to cook a nice turkey and you are clearly doing it all wrong

I use Nigella’s non-brining method. Mostly cooked upside down and finished off right way up.
Never dry. Swapped from fresh to frozen a few years back and no one noticed the difference.

I do it upside down and it doesn't look the best but the meat is very moist.

I've ditched the turkey this year, it's horrible, too expensive and we just did it because that's what you are supposed to have.

Mum was horrified I'm doing beef and chicken this year but I feel utterly liberated 🤣

If it’s not too big to manhandle (personhandle?) what I’ve done more than once is roast it breast side down, and turn it over just for the last 15 minutes or so. Plus ours is always rested for around an hour. That also gives plenty of time for pigs in blankets and everything else to cook, and to make proper gravy in the roasting tin - before shoving it in the dishwasher.

Bacofoil turkey roasting bags. No other fannying on required. Thank me later...

We love turkey.

Get the oven really hot before you put the turkey in, give it a blast of very hot for about 30 mins to get the heat all the way through, then turn the oven down.

Prep wise, butter under the skin if you can. A potato inside so that gives off moisture from the inside. Cover with streaky bacon. And sit it on some veg, and cover veg with veg stock. Cover loosely with tin foil, so the steam from the veg stock will help to keep it moist.

And I cook mine Xmas eve.

Me too, St Delia all the way!

Cook it upside down. You won’t have crispy skin but at least the breast meat won’t be all dried out!

I cooked a (defrosted) frozen turkey last weekend. It tasted fine and wasn’t dry at all.

Defrosted in garage for a couple of days (it was cold enough).
Removed the giblets.
Bit of butter shoved up under the skin
Streaky bacon applied.
Few herbs shoved up its arse.
20mls of water in roasting pan.
Tightly sealed it in with foil.
Temp and time as per the BBC good food meat cooking app.
Take out of oven when time up, leave the foil on, cover with a towel. Leave to rest for 30mins - hour.

No basting.
No brining.
Didn’t stuff it.
Used juices for gravy.

I stab it with a knife and insert rolled up rosemary and bacon (you can put garlic as well if you like) into the cuts. Then cover it with bacon on top.

Never comes dry.

HRTFT
OP do you have a large slow cooker? I have done our turkey crown in the slow cooker the last two years and it was very succulent. I will be doing it that way again this year.

All meats for Christmas Day come from Marks or Waitrose or coop, in their own cooking tin and with instructions/timings for cooking. In 30plus years, no one has died, got the projectile vomits or the s*s!

it may be more expensive, but it’s tasty and nice.

Yabu. Just stop doing it

I solve the horrible turkey condundrum by having a side of salmon instead.

Well in that case next year is easy.

Beef with some turkey legs.

Sorted.

Dry-brine the turkey at least 1 day before cooking. Game changer.

A good guide to dry-brining https://smittenkitchen.com/2019/11/dry-brined-turkey-with-roasted-onions.

Sounds weird. Works. You can do all the other butter/bacon/stuffing malarkey and it tastes good but ime this is the big one. No more dry tasteless turkey. Kosher salt is available on Amazon btw.

Ugh, turkey is vile, tasteless and dry. I don’t understand why people serve it, it’s not traditional. There are so many other options.

Easiest way to moist turkey- cut a slit on he skin of each breast, push your fingers in ti separate it from the flesh. Push a stick of butter in (about same size and shape as two fingers) one on each side. Cover the tray in foil - quite tight, but folded back on itself at the top to create space for the steam later.

Bung in the oven, and baste only when you put the roasties in later. Take the foil off for the last 30 minutes.

That's it. I get asked for my secret every year.
Also - serve wine. If the turkey is crap (it won't be) you won't care! 😅

I’ve had turkey crowns in the past that have fed 12 with loads left over for the next day! Probably not available from a supermarket tho - I get mine from a local butcher!

The OPs DH and DSs want leg meat so a crown won't cut the mustard for them.

Honestly OP use the Phil Vickery method. My DH would only eat turkey leg until he had turkey cooked this way now he will happily have breast too.

As pp buy a chicken BUT serve with Turkey gravy…. No one will know 🦃

Huh? I’m an utterly shit cook but don’t find it hard. I’m “cooking” for 8 people. I’ve bought a fresh turkey crown from Tesco (to be delivered on Sunday). It’ll go in the oven covered in foil until 30 mins before I get it out to stand.

Now wondering if my food is actually horrible and nobody likes it… but they all slather it in gravy and seem to enjoy…

I haven't read all the posts to see if this has already been suggested so apologies if it has. I am actually brilliant at cooking turkeys (weirdly as I'm not good at cooking much else).

Take the turkey out of the fridge in good time and remove giblets for gravy. Then you push butter under the skin all over; as much as possible. Loads on the breast. Butter the skin on the outside too. Season. Then (this might be against health and safety) push stuffing in one end to fill the cavity and sausage meat in the other. Loads of it. Then go mad with overlapping streaky bacon and cover everything with it. No visible turkey skin left. Then cook it for whatever time you reckon and in the last half hour or so remove the bacon so the turkey skin can brown (keep the bacon warm). Then take out of oven and rest for a good amount of time. You could do half an hour if covered with foil. This means the juice goes back in the turkey so it's not dry. Drain some off for gravy obvs. I often make extra gravy a few days before with chicken bones and the turkey carcass as you can never have enough gravy.

Oh and I forgot to say once you've covered the turkey with bacon put foil over it with enough room at the top for the steam. So you make a house for the turkey so it's airtight almost. When it's nearly cooked and the bacon comes off then you undo the foil for the last half hour to brown.

Im doing beef in my instant pot this year, really easy as just sear then slow cook with red wine and stock.