Autism concerns Can I have a second pair of eyes please

[Firstimemum24]

22 months old development
Positive

1. answer to questions with yes and no
2. Answer to where’s and what’s questions
3. Give kisses and high five
4. Point , wave and clap
5. Ask for what she wants by pointing or using the word for it
6. Follow simple instructions such as : “ bring mum the fork “ pick it up and give it mummy “ come here and stop and wait for mom “ when outside . Sit on the couch , bath time and food time she sits on her little chair , put bunny to bed or bring me the blanket .
7. Uses over a 100 words and sometimes 2 word phrases : like feed baby , daddy train , mummy coffee
8. Says hi to people and kids

Concerns

1. toe walker ( I have been told it is a milestone 🤔)
2. Very shy and doesn’t like playgroups but then again she is a lonely child
3. Picky eater ( this is what she eats ) bolognese pasta homemade
4. Homemade spinach , pasta , tomato and carrot soup
5. Pasta with ricotta and tomato
6. Pasta pesto
7. Pasta with zucchine
8. Lasagna
9. Meatballs
10. Toast with butter and marmite
11. Almond croissant
12. Banana and kiwi
13. Pear and peaches
14. Apples
15. Vegetarian sausage and peanut butter toast
16. Eggs and cress sandwich
17. Chicken and Brie sandwich
18. Raw Carrots
19. Veggies crisps
20. Banana and blueberry pancakes

Also we can’t seem to have a back and forth conversation . What age does it develop ? ☺️

But lots of children get overwhelmed when surrounded by others, if you crouch down to her height you'd be overwhelmed too with all these big bodies around you. Again these things tend to improve around 5 or 6 but there are simple things you can try in the meantime. What do you do when in a crowd? step back, distract her with a game? Have her face you so she can't see the others and play a jumping game or similar? Or is she facing outward with everyone crowding near her.

The problem isn't that she is or isn't autistic, the issues are because she is a one year old learning to navigate the world. It takes time and will pass.

If you are as anxious as you say you are it's far more likely your anxiety rubbing off on her, your mannerisms and body language that is telling her she needs to be on alert rather than relaxed. Get that under control and you may find your DD relaxing too.

I try my best to console her and pick her up . Like another example she tends to be over excited with unfamiliar faces in the house . She doesn’t scream or hit or run back and forth but gets a bit loud showing everyone how she claps and gets all tensed up and shaky but smiles at them whilst she does it .

Your HV is blowing smoke up your ass.

There's a lot of material online about language development.

Is it possible your child has picked up on your own general anxiety? Children are able to sense a vibe.

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=age-appropriate-speech-and-language-milestones-90-P02170

Here's a rough guide ^. These are baseline rubrics. Some children in the age groups will be able to understand and say more than the indicators. Any child whose language falls under the baseline by the upper age limit possibly needs a little help.

Bloody hell they are 1 years old for goodness sake. HV is NOT trained to recognise ASD

Hi op, I’m autistic ( only diagnosed last year aged 45 ) and both of my dc are autistic, ds is now 21 and was diagnosed when he was 8, dd is now 13 and was diagnosed last November when she was 12. They’re both so different it’s crazy and I couldn’t even begin to compare them as for example-
dd was talking in sentences at around 18 months, reading before school, extremely bright; potty training took forever. Ds hardly said a word until he was 3 but was potty trained super quick and much younger than dd was. Both very bright but suffer with crippling anxiety and ocd as do I.

we have lots of autistic people in our family and of the 8 grandchildren, 7 of them have a diagnosis of autism. The 7 dc are all so different and all have their own challenges, strengths and weaknesses and some go to mainstream school and others go to special school. Nothing you have said is giving me autism vibes to be honest but obviously if you’re concerned then pls seek reassurance.

what I will say on my own limited experience with my family and with several friends is that the dc who are diagnosed young tend to be what would be classed as “severe” and it was very evident that something was different. My own dc didn’t present as severe when young and would be classed as “high functioning” which seems to be the wrong thing to say but one that most people understand.

autism in girls is so different than in boys and they mask well. I did it, my daughter did it and we both still do sometimes. Try not to worry, everything will be ok 😊

Thank you everybody for your answers ☺️ it is such a rollercoaster 🙂‍↔️ I just hope she , in her own time , will develop self confidence around people . It is heartbreaking that her grandparents try to engage with her by asking her to come and read a book or give them a toy and she is just happy to play with her toys . She does play peek boo and takes things and food from them but she doesn’t see them enough ? Is it normal this behaviour?

Honestly I genuinely don't see anything wrong with her behaviour? It almost sounds like you want her to get a diagnosis. Most toddlers don't want to look at a book if they have toys instead. Would you?