Autism concerns Can I have a second pair of eyes please

[Firstimemum24]

22 months old development
Positive

1. answer to questions with yes and no
2. Answer to where’s and what’s questions
3. Give kisses and high five
4. Point , wave and clap
5. Ask for what she wants by pointing or using the word for it
6. Follow simple instructions such as : “ bring mum the fork “ pick it up and give it mummy “ come here and stop and wait for mom “ when outside . Sit on the couch , bath time and food time she sits on her little chair , put bunny to bed or bring me the blanket .
7. Uses over a 100 words and sometimes 2 word phrases : like feed baby , daddy train , mummy coffee
8. Says hi to people and kids

Concerns

1. toe walker ( I have been told it is a milestone 🤔)
2. Very shy and doesn’t like playgroups but then again she is a lonely child
3. Picky eater ( this is what she eats ) bolognese pasta homemade
4. Homemade spinach , pasta , tomato and carrot soup
5. Pasta with ricotta and tomato
6. Pasta pesto
7. Pasta with zucchine
8. Lasagna
9. Meatballs
10. Toast with butter and marmite
11. Almond croissant
12. Banana and kiwi
13. Pear and peaches
14. Apples
15. Vegetarian sausage and peanut butter toast
16. Eggs and cress sandwich
17. Chicken and Brie sandwich
18. Raw Carrots
19. Veggies crisps
20. Banana and blueberry pancakes

Also we can’t seem to have a back and forth conversation . What age does it develop ? ☺️

Yes I’d say very anxious and don’t know how a kid’s language should develop etc .

I don't see anything to be concerned about? Sounds alright to me. I kind of wish my two year old son was saying that much. He only says less than ten and is three soon.

I agree with others. That isn't a picky eater.

This is normal. Are you addressing your anxiety over this?

You need to get your anxiety under control, your daughter sounds absolutely fine. You need to get a grip on this or you will colour her approach to life as she picks up on your anxiety. That is the problem here. Her diet is amazing for a two year old btw,

My eldest is autistic and couldn't do any of the things on your list at 22 months. He had probably 6 words.
BUT he's a boy and autism is not the same in boys and girls.

Also - kindly - that is not a picky eater!!

OP isn't being over-anxious - but maybe the HV is. I'd say to the HV to hold off for at least a year before she refers to a paediatricion.

Thank you so much ☺️ no, no family history . I mean the HV asked if she could point at some or all her body parts and she can do it for all her body parts .

I’m autistic and have ND children. I don’t see anything of concern in your post, she’s a great little eater.

Maybe go back and read your previous thread where you got very helpful replies, I don't think you'll get any better replies on this thread than you got last time.

The HV is also not an expert in Autism, they probably have a list of things to check off and if they don't check off everything, they refer.

When I look back to my dd being young who now has an asd diagnosis. She was very structured couldn’t cope with change. Hated loud noises. Quite obsessional. Good speech but antisocial. However every parent will have a different experience. Maybe read up on girls with asd if you have concerns.

I think the thing to remember is that saying "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism"

everyone is going to be different and I agree, its not worth worrying before age 5

only children can be shy and very bright ones are often interested in things more than people.

Thank you this is what the HV said about being antisocial and rigid . Do you remember any other peculiarity? 😊

This app gives a guide to the signs of autism in young children: https://asdetect.org/

Both of my children are autistic.

They're fantastic kids.

Both are still restrictive eaters and neither has ever eaten the variety your toddler currently eats. One is now 18 and the other 15 for context.

Stop worrying.

She's not even 2. She sounds fine.

I toe walked up to age 7 or 8, maybe longer. I just liked it. I was also a very picky eater. I'm NT.

My DC2 still toe walks at nearly 7. He's NT.

Neuro divergence is rampant in my family and that is absolutely NOT a restricted diet. My DN survived exclusively by Living off barely cooked, not at all brown alphabites, Aldi krave (light coloured one), smart price Aldi cheese slices and blue warbs bread. One specific Brand of chicken noodles that is never consistently in stock. Washed down with Aldi orange cordial or very occasionally, banana nesquick and milk. That’s IT. Nothing else. No occasional fruit or veg. Nothing. He won’t even eat cake if you were to say choose any cake you want in a supermarket.

Sounds typical, but I'll level with you, many of the people I encounter currently with the diagnosis seem fairly indistinguishable from most people.
My eldest has the diagnosis but has significant language and social delay, and at 11 appears more like an extremely bright 7-8 year old. They seemed very babyish in lots of ways as an older toddler - apart from we knew they were cognitively advanced (showing clear ability with early reading, numeracy and colour and shape identification). They didn't say their first word till just before three and didn't combine words till just before 3.5.
Also I've noticed quite a few times - and this is very un PC - a correlation of 'bright' children tending to be later to start smooth heel-toe walking, often well into primary. A certain amount of asynchronous development is expected in very intelligent people though, I believe.
I don't think proper back and forth conversations are typical until at least three, also I certainly wouldn't class a child who eats from that extensive list as fussy.😁

I can't understand why a referral would be made when there are no reported indications of developmental delay - what does the HV think she should be doing at her age ? Even allowing for the fact that higher level autism might present in a more subtle way, I'm not sure what is being picked up on . Diet can be an issue in autism but my ds1 is severely autistic and he has never had any food problems - eats anything and everything

During the earlier days of ASD/Autism diagnosis (DS now 23 experienced them), when exclusions were used as an educational remedy - and bad parenting often being the initial explanation whilst the qualified professionals were conducting their tests - the food thing just wasn't included when it certainly should have been.

It is now. And so is a better understanding of Autism.

i remember having vague concerns about DS as a toddler and he is currently awaiting a diagnosis age 10. He’s also the most incredible child and I wouldn’t change a single hair on his head.

Don’t waste time worrying about it OP - it sounds like there are no significant autism pointers from what you have said, and even if she does turn it to be autistic then she is still your brilliant little girl.

Yes I was surprised myself but my little girl tends to get overwhelmed by too many people like when waiting in line for a playgroup to start she gets agitated and starts crying . I can see she is delayed in the social aspect but I would have never jumped to autism giving that communication and social communication is appropriate for her age based on the asq and Mchat . I also know it presents very subtly in girls .
if there’s no genetic component what could be the reason for a diagnosis?

If the issues are very subtle and the child is very young, it's unlikely any professional would want to do any more than wait and see. Maybe go back to the HV and try to find out why she made a referral ?