To think she’s a cheeky cow

[ISeeCheekyFuckers]

DH is one of 4 brothers (all 40+). He and next brother down (2) are proper grafters, working very hard and always there to help the others in financial and practical ways (despite DH living several hours away). Brother 3 is the selfish one, never around when anyone needs anything, doesn’t engage if it requires any kind of effort, does what he wants. Successful
to a degree but just very absent unless it benefits him. He got married a year ago, and we’ve only met his wife 2 or 3 times so don’t really know her well.

Youngest brother is the mess. Has been bankrupt, had a child with a nightmare of a woman, has started businesses etc. Is routinely propped up by family for money, having somewhere to live, childcare, paying for legal costs etc. He’s a sweet guy but has just never really got it together. Since his last business failed, he’s taken to spending large periods of time abroad (no idea how he’s funding it but I suspect he has sold business assets and is using that money) and has just returned after 3 months.

DH is a quiet soul who takes any perceived criticism to heart. He’s not one for showy gifts, but paid for them all to have a weekend away for each brother’s 40th, nice hotel and entertainment etc, travel.

New SIL posted a picture last night of items youngest brother has brought back and given her, saying he’s the best brother-in-law ever unless the other two up their game. She tagged them both in the post. DH is really upset but would ignore rather than engage (as would other BIL).

I think she’s a cheeky cow and would be quite happy to point out how much DH has done for PIL and other BILs because her feckless husband does fuck all for anyone else (and hasn’t ever even acknowledged our DC’s birthdays), but this would effectively destroy our relatively shallow relationship dead.

He's doing the right thing ignoring her, she's just trying to start drama and get some attention. Don't give her any more help. Keep things civil and just disengage from both of them.

I would completely ignore her or just put a smiley face in answer. Surely it's a bit odd that one brother is bringing back gifts for his brother's wife?

She's a fucking nightmare, stay well away!!

I would take that as a joke on her part. Why would you take such a remark seriously?

Seems to me that you are overthinking this because you dislike her husband's behaviour and attitude.

New SIL will learn the family dynamics nd feel an idiot for posting what she did... or else feel a mug when she endsup.on thd hook to "help". 🤷‍♀️

I would say it’s an attempt at humour that didn’t land well, not that she’s a cheeky cow.

Yes this would annoy me OP

What’s the saying -

never let a good deed go unpunished ?

Better still, thumbs up.

I would ignore too but I wouldn’t put smiley face. They’ll think their behaviour is acceptable.

I’d also stop all Christmas gifts, birthday gifts , cards, everything, including when they have kids.

This.

She's been married a year and was making a stupid joke. She doesn't know the history. She'll feel pretty stupid when she does.

This seems weird behaviour to me and quite attention seeking unless there is some context that explains it. I would ignore it and leave them to it. They both sound hard work.

There are no gifts or cards and they are a blended family. They won’t be having kids together.

It's a joke not very funny mind but it's unlikely there's intent behind it

It sounds like a joke, that you and H can't handle.

The way you have described the brothers makes you sound shallow and judgemental. I'd be inclined to say that its you who is the nightmare sil.

In the words of my teenager, dafuq?

Block the lot of them on social media

I don't think you're being unreasonable to think this, but I do think it would be unreasonable for you to say anything. This is your husband's family and he's a grown man. Old enough to say something if he wanted too. You could potentially be causing problems and family fall outs over something quite small if you said anything. It's his family and this doesn't really impact you in a big way. I get what you're thinking but I wouldn't be causing a family fall out over it

Perhaps unfriend her.

Agree, unfriend

Didnt realise it was a competition SIL..we will graciously drop out thanks lol !!!! that should do it!

Oh seriously ignore. Never feed that kind of thing. Ill judged of SIL but based on how you describe her h, they seem well matched.

She’s a CF.
Don’t say anything.
Send them all her the link to this thread…

🍿

Unfriend & block.

Hello, newly married SIL

I'm guessing SiL has been fed a pack of lies by selfish husband about how shabbily he's been treated by the family. She probably doesn't see through him yet.

I wouldn't take it to heart. The best thing to do when being purposely misjudged (by selfish brother) is to ignore it.