DH is one of 4 brothers (all 40+). He and next brother down (2) are proper grafters, working very hard and always there to help the others in financial and practical ways (despite DH living several hours away). Brother 3 is the selfish one, never around when anyone needs anything, doesn’t engage if it requires any kind of effort, does what he wants. Successful
to a degree but just very absent unless it benefits him. He got married a year ago, and we’ve only met his wife 2 or 3 times so don’t really know her well.
Youngest brother is the mess. Has been bankrupt, had a child with a nightmare of a woman, has started businesses etc. Is routinely propped up by family for money, having somewhere to live, childcare, paying for legal costs etc. He’s a sweet guy but has just never really got it together. Since his last business failed, he’s taken to spending large periods of time abroad (no idea how he’s funding it but I suspect he has sold business assets and is using that money) and has just returned after 3 months.
DH is a quiet soul who takes any perceived criticism to heart. He’s not one for showy gifts, but paid for them all to have a weekend away for each brother’s 40th, nice hotel and entertainment etc, travel.
New SIL posted a picture last night of items youngest brother has brought back and given her, saying he’s the best brother-in-law ever unless the other two up their game. She tagged them both in the post. DH is really upset but would ignore rather than engage (as would other BIL).
I think she’s a cheeky cow and would be quite happy to point out how much DH has done for PIL and other BILs because her feckless husband does fuck all for anyone else (and hasn’t ever even acknowledged our DC’s birthdays), but this would effectively destroy our relatively shallow relationship dead.