Very long backstory to this but the basics are that my mother was generally good to me as a child, provided everything I needed and more materially, was usually complimentary, always said she was proud of me although rarely affectionate and occasionally mentally abusive (not speaking to me for days on end as a young child, telling me I would be kicked out of I ever did X, Y or Z and calling me ungrateful for her feeding and clothing me). I always felt very grateful and was never in any sort of trouble at school or police as I got older, so never brought her any trouble.
When I was 17, she kicked me out of the house on Christmas Day because my room was a mess and I was left walking the streets and ended up having to stay at a friend's house for several days. I was mortified and only allowed back home after begging. Things deteriorated further and by age 18, I had a boyfriend and she couldn't cope with that. I went on holiday with my boyfriend and on the day I got back she kicked me out, after physically threatening me. She shoved all my things in bin bags and threw them in the street. I never went home after that day.
Over the years we have tried to have some sort of relationship but it never ends well. At this point, we will speak if we bump into each other but that's it. I am now almost 40 with children, partner, good friends and a comfortable, peaceful life that I am really grateful for and she is almost 80, lives alone and has fallen out with every friend she ever made, which is terribly sad.
She has sent me a message to say she is unwell and has been for a while. She seems to have some sort of tummy bug and a cough, can hardly breathe and every night she is wishing to die. I suggested she calls 111 but she said she is too scared in case they make her have carers which she can't afford.
I am at a loss what to do. In the past she has lied about serious things, including contacting me while I was on holiday visiting family to tell me she had suffered a stroke, when in fact she had never even been to the GP let alone hospital.
How would you all deal with this? I would really appreciate any input as my head is spinning.