Young adults and learning to drive

[loveawineloveacrisp]

AIBU to think that young adults should learn to drive as soon as they can, if they have the means?

Eldest DSS is 25 and due to visit from his home town for Xmas. He'll be expecting his dad to taxi him around all Christmas like he's still 12 years old as he simply can't be arsed learning to drive. He earns well and has the means to learn, run a car etc.

Youngest is 19 and not showing any interest in driving either, is still ferried back and forth between mum's house and dad's house like a small child. Drives me nuts. When will it end? When they're 30? 40?

Stop ferrying the 25 year old everywhere!

Can't edit, see it's his Dad that's doing it but if he stops then he'll have to learn. Same with the other one for the future

Yeah he does it for the eldest otherwise he wouldn't see him but it's just facilitating him in my opinion.

I don't understand the problem. They can ask for lifts but no one is obliged to give them. They can learn to drive, get a bus or uber.

But to be honest, even though we live in a very central and well connected area, I love giving my kids lifts, great time to chat and have a laugh, side by side also ideal for deeper chats and spend some fun time together. But there's no pressure, if I'm tired etc I just say no!

I personally think driving is an important life skill, and that my life would have been SO different if I couldn't drive, and I would have missed out on SO many things.
However it is a personal choice. The young person needs to be motivated. If they want to restrict job opportunities, holiday opportunities, social life, chances to visit places and take part in so much that just isn't accessible by public transport, then that's their choice.

The fact that you / your dh seem happy to ferry them everywhere does make the choice not to drive a bit easier though.

If you live in a big city, driving is pointless and prohibitvly expensive, so I’m not surprised that city dwellers don’t drive. If Dad is happy being the taxi then let him crack in, I’m not sure why you are so bothered by this. If you don’t want to drive them say so.

No it's not essential to learn to drive if where you live doesn't require it. One of mine doesn't drive, it's fine

I felt strongly enough about driving being a life skill that I paid for my three to learn. I explained that however much they felt they didn't need to be able to drive, there would come a point where they did and they wouldn't have six months to learn.

If you live in a big city, driving is pointless and prohibitively expensive,

It really isn't. It is an extremely valuable skill to have.

Expense is relative. Yes, lessons cost a lot, and initially insurance is a lot, but over a lifetime, it costs far less to drive than to travel by public transport and taxis, even before you get on to all the journeys you do on the way to somewhere else (like dropping dc at Childminder before going to work).

Then get on to going on holiday - have you seen the cost of train tickets lately ?

It always astounds me how anti driving some people are on here.

Why does it bother me that he's driving them everywhere? Because it's less time for us to spend having a peaceful Christmas.

The point re dropping kids at school/nursery is a good one. I wonder if they'll expect us to do that when they have their own kids.

Absolutely - or adapt their lives not to need it, live near public transport, not expect lifts all the time. Assuming they can afford it and don't have a medical reason why they can't drive.

Mine both learnt at 17yrs old, I learnt at 17yrs too. It is a life skill & gives you freedom. It's another box ticked that you don't need to think about after education when you're going for job interviews etc. I just don't understand people not wanting to learn though obviously I accept the cost is prohibitive for some.

I grew up in London and like virtually everyone in my class, started having driving lessons as soon as I turned 17. Living in a big city doesn't mean you don't learn!

My DD couldn't wait to learn to drive, because for her it meant freedom to get to work, visit friends at different unis, do all her activities, etc. She's a very independent type though, whereas a lot of her peers seem to rely much more on their parents.

I can see that if you live in a big city with good public transport then, depending on your circumstances, you might not need to own a car. However, I disagree that learning to drive would be pointless. There may be many other situations where having this life skill could open up job and leisure opportunities, plus it does mean you have the option to move out of a city one day if you need or want to.

If you can afford to learn and have no medical condition to prevent you, I definitely think this is an essential life skill

It costs far less to drive than to travel by public transport - yet elsewhere on MN, people throng to say older people shouldn't be driving and they'd save money by giving up their car, and have plenty of money for taxis (the more expensive form of public transport)

*driving is a life skill" - but MN-ers are keen to bar others from the road, eg "If you're nervous about roundabouts you shouldn't be driving at all"

If you can afford to learn and have no medical condition to prevent you, I definitely think this is an essential life skill Wouldn't it be better if we organised our country so it wasn't an essential life skill? So that teenagers, those with medical conditions, nervous drivers, the elderly had other means of getting where they needed to be?

I learned at 20 but through a combination of university and work choices didn't actually drive until I was around 28, it was like starting all over again tbh. I had to pay for refresher lessons as it just wasn't ingrained.
I don't think it's necessarily wise to do it till you need to. Apparently The average cost to learn to drive in the UK is between £1,125 and £2,700. That's a LOT of money.

I'm in my 20s and I can't drive neither can my mum I just don't have the desire I don't think it's a necessity, get them to use uber or public transport

For me, not learning to drive is quite a weird choice to make (obviously, if finances etc allow). My mum made it extremely clear that, once I was 17, mums taxi was over. I can understand if you live in a large city and seldom leave not bothering but other than that I think it’s quite a lazy choice to inflict on others to have to accommodate you.

Yanbu but whilst other people keep ferrying them everywhere then they won’t see or feel the need to learn. Say no to lifts so that they either have the inconvenience of public transport or the expense of a taxi. Very silly still being driven around everywhere by parents in your mid 20s.

Bloody hell. DS is 10 and having driving lessons, and drives my car on private land. He's already itching to pass his test!

My honest opinion - for those that can afford it / fit lessons into their life

If you do not drive but manage to sort yourself out getting from a to b like an adult, fine

If you do not drive but expect others to constantly taxi you around out of laziness, not fine

Might be different in marriages where one doesn’t drive but one is happy to do the driving

I personally get frustrated by friends who have the money to drive, choose not to but constantly moan for lifts or moan about their partner not taking them x y z on the weekend. Get your own car!

I learned to drive when I was 18 and was glad I did but I can definitely see why young people don’t or put it off if they have to fund it all themselves. One of my cousins is currently doing her lessons and is debating just stopping them altogether, its £40 an hour where we are so £160 a month on lessons, her parents don’t have a car she could use once she passes so she’d need money to buy a car, she wouldn’t be approved for car finance without a guarantor which she doesn’t have and she’d be looking at probably £2000+ for first years insurance. It’s not cheap and I can see where faced with those costs it doesn’t feel worth it especially if not driving doesn’t really impact your life because there’s always someone to give you a lift.

I was motivated to pass my test so that I didn’t have to keep getting bus/train places which was expensive and also took AGES (very unreliable and infrequent service where we are), I can see where if I lived in a city with good public transport or if I had someone giving me a lift everywhere I wanted to go then passing my test and getting myself set up with a car and insurance wouldn’t have felt worth the money.

I learned to drive at 24. Live in London. To me it meant freedom. Freedom from catching the last train (and the walk in the dark to my home), freedom from having to do several food shops a week (this was before online ordering), freedom to just get in my car at any time and go anywhere!
Sure I take many trips by public transport especially if going in to the centre but I love having my car!!

We offered to pay for our DC's driving lessons, but only as long as they were in education at school/uni. Once they were earning they would be paying themselves. That definitely encouraged them to get on with it!