To object to boxing for PE?

[drspouse]

Context: DS has ADHD, some aggressive behaviour, and is in a specialist SEMH school.
They go off site once a week for a physical activity (billed as Outdoor Ed, but so far we've had swimming, and it's now being switched to boxing at a local gym).
He's just about to turn 13 and has done no martial arts before. I would be happy with him doing another martial art but boxing carries risks I'm not happy with, plus I'm opposed to hitting people as a sport.

The problem is that if he doesn't go to the session (whether it's because he's ill, because he's misbehaved at school, or because we withdraw him) he won't be offered an alternative out of school. He'll just be left at school to do colouring.

I'm not clear if they get another PE session during the week, I don't think we technically have the right to withdraw him from lessons except sex ed and religious worship but I don't think the school would force him to go (they couldn't, even if they wanted to, frankly!).

I know boxing has helped many young men get out of the gutter, taken them away from a life of crime, blah blah, but I don't think hitting people should be a sport, especially for a child who thinks it's fun to hit people, who thinks any accidental injury is the other person's fault and he has the right to retaliate, etc. Telling him he doesn't, that there are rules in sport etc. etc. is not going to make a blind bit of difference IMO.

I assume they'd just be punching punch bags and not doing even mini fights, but there are also the risks if another child decides it's fun to practice on DS, especially as he has epilepsy and has recently had a minor skull fracture.

Punching punch bag and boxercise type exercise would be fine with me but my sons would learn to actually box over my cold, dead body.

I assume it must be the former though as no reputable organisation would allow a child with epilepsy and a recent skull fracture to spar.

What's wrong with doing some circuits and hitting some punch bags? Boxing is increadible exercise and in my experience, kids love it. Why is it different to other martial arts that you say you would be fine with? I really don't think that you have grounds for complaint here and they aren't going to change the plan just because you have issues with it.

Any boxing here has been exercising and bag work not engaging with each other. To be honest it may suit him because it is likely to appeal and support his need to hit.

Family member now late 20s, ADHD, add and some learning issues was introduced to a boxing bag at 9 when he was really struggling with hitting. We are convinced it was the key that stopped it. He has a bag in the family home now uses it daily.

Have a chat with the school, you may find they are using it as a tool.

They won't be hitting each other. He's a lot less likely to be injured doing boxing drills with a punch-bag than he is playing, eg, football or rugby.

Boxing is such a great sport for working off aggression. It doesn't have to involve fights. I do boxing workouts without sparring and it's brilliant. So much fun.

It's more likely to be what my kids did, which was funded and pushed heavily locally. The first lot were open to anyone, the second lot were funded specifically for girls and they ran a second course my daughter didn't do because of the timing with self defence skills. They also did a load of sessions together during the holidays. The same people running it also provided an after school club at the kids school.

It was boxing skills taught to improve confidence, coordination and mental health. Pretty sure in 6 weeks they never even hit a punching bag. It was lots of technique and some breathing and relaxation stuff. They both really enjoyed it.

I wouldn't be happy with boxing as I disagree with it in general.

Pretty sure in 6 weeks they never even hit a punching bag. It was lots of technique and some breathing and relaxation stuff. They both really enjoyed it.

If it is just that then the chances of DS actually bothering to engage are pretty much nil, anyway!
He'd probably quite like punching a punch bag but we aren't happy with him doing that either.

They won't be punching each other. It'll be bag work and pad work at most.

Boxing is fabulous exercise. I've boxed on and off for a decade without ever laying a serious punch on another human. I've got my 6yo with some sensory challenges into it and it's been fantastic for him.

They don't do any actual sports at his school because that would be too much like allowing children with SEN to have a typical schooling. No rugby certainly, no football coaching, no competitive sports internally or against other schools - just kicking about at break time.
Though you have reminded me, I need to check if any of the children ever head the ball in a kickabout - I don't think DS would be capable of doing it (as he also has dyspraxia) but it would be another thing that's Very Bad for children with possibly brain injuries.

Long as it's not people I'd be good with it. I do it occasionally in gym classes and it's very much about getting the stroke right just like it would be hitting the sweet spot of the racquet in tennis. It's really not fighty although we aren't a bunch of teenage boys!

But I'd find out what they are punching first.

They will not be fighting each other. Likely to work in pairs with one wearing gloves and one using pads. Probably a bit of a circuit style warm up as well.

The problem is that a) the idea that you are allowed to hit things would potentially prove too tempting for DS to resist trying out on people and b) exactly the same might prove true of his classmates.
Plus the whole, you know, I object to hitting people as sport. It's rather like saying yes to a short visit to a mosque and learning about Islam in RE but no to going along to Koranic classes because they won't actually ask the children to proclaim that they are Muslims.

I think I can see why the school don't bother organising any sports......

Well, if you're sure the boxing is incompatible with your DS's needs and/or you morally object to any participation in boxing even if it doesn't involve hitting people, you can withdraw him, but you can't demand he gets his own personal sports curriculum.

I am a woman who does boxing. It's a fantastic sport.

it's not about being allowed to hit things, thanks, we do have a brain you know.

Why are you so strongly opposed to see your son exercising, learning to respect people, learning boundaries and literally NOT hitting things or people like a maniac?

He'd probably quite like punching a punch bag but we aren't happy with him doing that either.

WHY?

What possible reason could make someone have moral objections against punching a punch bag?

I don't even know what to say.

I should imagine they will be very clear on the safety rules, and if DS enjoys it, it might be motivation for him not to hit people outside of the class, as I'm sure it will be made clear that pupils won't be allowed to participate if they use the moves outside of class.

I have ADHD and I find boxing exercises really helpful for it (the cardio, hand-eye coordination, reading other people and predicting their moves, increasing processing speed to react quickly, etc) so I think it might be worth letting him try it, as the skills involved and stress relief might actually help him. Most of it will be no- or low contact - realistically, they're not going to be told to punch each other in the face, are they?

Plus, if they have to hit pads being held by a partner, he might begin to appreciate the force of being hit and why it isn't pleasant to be on the receiving end of one of his punches, which could promote empathy and increased understanding of the violence he inflicts on others.

If, after trying it, you find that boxing does make his behaviour more violent, then it's reasonable to ask the school to excuse him at that point.

I definitely think it's worth letting children try as many sports and hobbies as possible, as one of them might end up being their 'thing' and a lifelong passion that they wouldn't otherwise have even known about.

If you're adamant that you don't want him to try it because of your beliefs, you could request that the school excuse him on the grounds of philosophical belief, as it's similar to requesting a vegetarian child doesn't dissect a heart in biology, and see what they say. But if you muddy the waters by telling the school that you also think he won't benefit/it might worsen his behaviour, it undermines the argument that it's because of philosophical belief as it will look like you don't even believe that not agreeing with boxing is sufficient a reason.

Or, you could ask the school more about their risk assessment, especially with regard to DS's behaviour, and let them explain why they think the potential benefit outweighs the risks. Similarly, I wouldn't mention the moral objections if you frame it as a disability accommodation issue.

So you're OK with children with head injuries heading the ball in football?

We would love them to organise cricket, rugby, football, hockey, anything that's done safely. But they don't. They also don't have any school trips for geography, history, anything like that, they have a science lab that nobody sets foot in, and when they organised an outdoor residential some children (including my DS) were offered "one day of outdoor experience on school grounds".
You can see why I might be a bit cynical about them actually bothering to offer organised sport.

I don't see your issue with punchbags. Punching a punchbag is a great stress reliever, and great exercise. I don't think this encourages violence - it is physical, muscle building exercise like splitting logs (not that I'd be happy with kids wieldling axes, but you know what I mean).

Yes, boxing is very big on discipline, respect and self-control. There are strict rules in and outside the ring.

I can't speculate on how this fits with the needs of children in your DS's school but presumably this isn't the first time they've done this and they are confident it will be safe and beneficial.

You should practice a sport yourself.

If you think "boxing" - which probably doesn't even involve sparring is "safer" than football or cricket or rugby... you need to try them yourself.

If people get frustrated against the other team on the field, which is often, its a lot more dangerous than someone pummelling a punch bag. Kids can get injured in any sport (as mine will happily demonstrate with gusto, I think at least one got some kind of injury from every single sport they did!)

We would love them to organise cricket, rugby, football, hockey, anything that's done safely. But they don't.

But they are all team sports and you've said that DS rarely engages - assuming there are other pupils who also struggle to engage with sports, I can absolutely see why team sports would be less than ideal.

@Tarraleah i agree for NT kids - mine do martial arts and it has helped them to be less aggressive; more self-confident; more able to avoid physical conflict and use self control as they know when they can defend themselves but also know when they definitely can’t.

A lot of these classes are about self discipline, technique, strength and endurance and flexibility and exercise rather than sparring. My ds likes sparring and “hitting” but he understands that is what he does in class, not in the playground. Also when kids spar there are pads on every part of the body - it’s hard to be badly hurt.

But for ND kids I’m not sure that all these things apply - if they can’t learn self discipline, can’t regulate emotion, can’t understand what’s socially acceptable and what’s not, teaching them how to hit people is probably not a great idea.

It might be a positive channel for his aggression.

Are you sure it's boxing and not boxing training?