To think this is selfish & lazy ?

[Farmwifefarmlife]

DH has been driving an hour out of his way every morning ( 30 mins each way ) to get lunch for himself.

he is self employed so am I , we have 3 DC one at school one at a childminders ( different location ) and a 8 week old newborn. I run a doggy daycare from home so mornings are pretty hectic with people dropping dogs off + we have a kennel block of our own dogs to do before school.

DH has been leaving earlier than usual 7-730 and it’s really hectic at that time in a morning and it’s because he’s been driving into town to get himself some lunch it’s also the absolute opposite direction. So not only is he wasting time that he could be earning money wasting fuel & buying lunch ( from Greggs) but that hour could be spent helping me!

I'm pretty cross but he thinks I’m being unreasonable as I don’t make him lunch anymore!! I do occasionally when I make DD lunch for school but the majority of the time she has school dinners!

Well I would assume he has an ulterior motive for this: it can't all be about buying his lunch.
Either he is doing it because he wants an excuse for not doing any of the morning jobs. Or his trip to the town in the opposite direction is a cover for something else.
What ever the reason it's not acceptable behaviour and you should be sitting down with him and asking him why he is wasting time and money and why he is not stepping up to the mark now you have a new born. And make sure he knows he needs to change.

There definitely isn’t anything sinister going on but I do feel that it’s much easier to leave the house early than help with the morning rush I think this is probably part of it! I definitely will I was cross / shocked this morning but he’s very good at brushing things under the carpet.

If there's nothing sinister going on, which admittedly was also my first thought...he's ridiculous! Tell him to make a bloody sandwich. Surely he's not that incompetent he can't slice some cheese, open a jar of pickle, butter some bread and slap it together?! He could even do it the night before! I literally just had this for lunch and it took me under 3 minutes.

Lazy, selfish man.

He is taking an hour to go in the wrong direction to buy lunch?? Is that a euphemism for an affair?!?!

Exactly it literally takes less than a minute! There is always lunch stuff in the fridge when I make lunch I usually don’t the night before I always offer but he says they go soggy the night before. He also is an early riser and is up at 5-6am so plenty of time.

Oh, he's being absurd. If it's not dodgy stuff, then he's deliberately shirking responsibility at home and it's not on. Especially with the extra money he's spending! It all adds up! Right before Christmas and the January drag, too. Yuck.

he thinks I’m being unreasonable as I don’t make him lunch anymore!!

Is he 5? I do hope he gets you lunch as well. But something tells me he doesn't.
He can do school drop off and pick up his lunch on a way back, surely. Better still, eating leftovers from the night before is what we do for lunch.

How you could fancy him enough to make a baby I don't know. You don't make his lunch so he has to go to Greggs. What a muppet.

You can buy the pasties etc frozen from Iceland if he really wants a Greggs pasty for lunch but a sandwich salad etc? Make it at home.
( Not defending husband just offering an idea)

He spends an hour each day just picking up lunch?
That is madness! I would be so angry.

He's a selfish arse, OP.

Greggs everyday - is he looking forward to that heart attack one day far too soon.

An hour to go to Greggs? So weird.

If it was an amazing gourmet lunch I could understand someone doing this maybe once a week but every day for Greggs ? Ridiculous

Why doesn't he make his own lunch? This sounds like there's much more wrong.

He can order a Greggs on Deliveroo if he wants it that badly!

Sounds like he wants the hour out of the house...

You have posted threads about him before - in a similar vein.
Can you make the decision that it is time to call an end to the relationship?

I could understand if it was a 5 minute stop off on the way buy this is selfish and lazy. Given the time he gets up there is no reason he can be using that time to make you both lunch! He can leave yours in the fridge for when you need to eat during the day.

edit: if they’re soggy then he should do a bit of research about how to make them not-soggy or make them in the morning.

He knows mornings are really busy and he doesn't want to help. I doubt he does much when he's home and you carry him.

He takes care of 1-2 children or 1 child plus dogs before he goes. If he still makes time for Greggs that’s his prerogative. Why on earth he can’t buy 5 for the week in one go I have no idea. They’ll keep perfectly well in Tupperware.

If he helped with doggy day care would he get paid? If not it's your job you need to deal with it!

my dh works in london walks by tons of cafes shops guess what makes his own lunch every day

yours is either lying or selfish

“Would he get paid?”

What a strange way to look at things.
They’re a family unit, it all goes into the same pot eventually. If he doesn’t help in the mornings and OP doesn’t manage then no one gets paid! If he can’t help out with doggy-daycare then he can at least help out in the mornings with the children he fathered and his own dogs 🤷‍♀️

*smh

He's having an affair with Greg(g)? Hope he's not middle class and of a certain age 😅

This is not about getting lunch, it is about punishing you for not doing exactly whhat he is telling you to do. He's trying to make your life so difficult that it is easier for you to just do as you are told.