Friend still hasn't paid, how to chase up AGAIN

[knowledegeablyclueless]

My friend has form for this.

Instance 1: we agreed we would go halves on a service that we both needed. I paid for it upfront (£90) and she said she would transfer. Took about a week and a half.

Instance 2: I mentioned I was going to a shop, she asked if I could pick up some pet food for her and she would 'send the money immediately' to the total of £50. Again took a week to get the money.

Last week: I mentioned I was selling something and she asked if she could have it. We agreed on a price (£60) and I said that I was passing her way, so I could drop it off for her. Low and behold, a week later I still don't have the money.

I know it's 'only' a week, but I need the money (which is why I was selling).

Have sent a couple of text reminders but have received nothing back.

So frustrating. Keep reminding is all you can do. Also never pay anything on her behalf again.

Do you not remember the old rhyme OP?

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me thrice, get my arse handed to me on Mumsnet because I really should have learnt better by now.

I would definitely message and say you need the money by 5pm or you'll need the item back so you can sell. And never front her money again

Seriously OP, stop paying for their stuff. Next time they ask for pet food/services just say "Sorry, I can't".

Why on earth did you drop off item without getting the money, you know what she's like!

Voted YABU because once, fair enough. Twice...now you know it's a pattern. Three times?? - you should have known better and I don't know why you thought it'd be different this time.

Sorry, that's harsh, but it's the truth.

Don't do it again!

I don't know what to say about reminding her - she's either going to send it to you or not and I don't think you can do much about it either way.

My only advice is don't ask, don't hint, don't 'remind' her - tell her you want the money now or the item back.

Ever heard the saying ‘Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me.’ Somehow you’ve let her do it a third time! Obviously she is unreasonable but she also clearly has form for not paying so why didn’t you insist she gave you the money before handing over the item?

I’d say hopefully this is a lesson learnt and you won’t be foolish enough to be in a situation where she owes you money in future, but seeing as you didn’t learn from the previous situations who knows!

I need the money today to do my Christmas food shop. Please transfer immediately and let me know once it’s done. Waiting for it to arrive so I can head to the shop!

Firstly, she isn't your friend. Secondly, keep asking, at least once a day. Don't feel bad about being rude. She doesn't.

Next time she asks, just say, "I'd rather not, because I always have to chase you to pay me back and it makes me feel awkward."

I'm one of the few that has voted YABU.

I voted that way because there is clearly a track record of her not paying in time and you putting up with it.

I mean really - who drops off something that hasn't been paid for and is still waiting a week for payment? There is absolutely nothing stopping her from returning the item to you, used more than it was when you gave it to her and saying that she doesn't want it any more.

Wise up @knowledegeablyclueless. Stop giving this person money or items that you're trying to sell. She could easily have bought the item online that you were going to sell and you'd actually have the money by now.

Next time say "I'm going to pop it online - you can buy it from there. At least on-line I have protection as a seller to get any outstanding money owed."

😂😂😂
You're quite the poet @VimesandhisCardboardBoots

Text her that she needs to pay up or you will be round later to collect the item so you can sell it as you really need the money.

Fool me once....

To polite…

’Sarah. I need the money. ‘

I agree, too polite.

OP shouldn't be asking if there's any chance.

Just send her your bank details

YABU- personally, I would have learnt my lesson after the first two times. You can't keep repeating this pattern and then being annoyed at the outcome - you need to learn - say no and say why if you really need to but saying no to her is the only way you will stop her taking the p**s.
She keeps doing this because you let her.

Einstein's definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

Just tell her you need it by this evening.

Stop spending money/ giving her things before she’s paid you!

Why an earth did you drop it around before she’s paid?

But yes in the short term say you’ve assumed she’s changed her mind, you have other buyers waiting and can you collect the item later today. Then turn up on her doorstep if you need to.

Tell her you are now desperate for the money, you need it straight away to pay bills. If she doesn't cough up the friendship is over really, leaving you in financial problems is not fair and not what friends do.

My sister-in-law popped out to get me some paint and the money was back in her account before she’d walked through the door with it.
She would do the same for me
Those are the only people that you offer interest free credit to in your life

I don't think you are actually being unreasonable. But a week isn't that long to take to pay back. Don't led her money again or pay upfront. You can't afford to which is fair enough but don't do it.

Knock when you know she'll be in
It's just words on a text message and you need action
Frankly you shouldn't have leant her any more as you had to chase her up then
She's not the friend you think she is
You can also ask for the item back of course

I had a "friend" like this. Before I totally gave up on the friendship, if she wanted something I got the money upfront.