To be furious at my son's father for bringing my baby home injured!

[twentytwentyfour2024]

My son's dad watched him this evening. Said DS was playing with toys when he turned round and noticed blood on his hand I got home from my evening course and checked my son(I live with parents so they pit DS to bed this evening) DS hand is FULL of blood! There's a blood patch on my bed from him and his had. Has all dried blood on it and it quite clearly is NOT a small cut! It has clotted and stopped bleeding now but if tomorrow it starts again I'll be going right to a&e!
Am I being too harsh on the ex like he says I am being or am I right in what I'm saying!? It was 2 hours and he wasn't watching a crawling 10 months old baby?!!!!!????? WHAT PLANET DOES HE LIVE ON!

I wouldn't be angry about the accident, but would question what was left out that was sharp enough to cause a cut.
But I would be angry if having noticed the blood he didn't clean it and stop the bleeding? Did he clean it up and it just started again or did he leave it?
How big is the cut?

How big/deep is the wound? Did your DS cry?
Too many factors to tell If YABU

Did your parents notice the blood when they were putting him to bed?
How is he now?
And yes, his dad sounds crap.

Calm down. It's a cut. Your child will do this sort of thing hundreds of times in their lifetime. It's life.

He did clean t and try to stop but it wouldn't stop he said

I have tried to look he's currently sleeping I've wiped away the blood partly but still some there. Can't see how big or deep it is currently as I don't want to hurt him so will have a close look tomorrow when I wash his hands under the tap. I will be closely monitoring tonight

So your 10 month old baby is laying in bed with a band covered in blood??
Has it been cleaned at all to see the severity of the cut?

I'd be dealing with my baby's hand first then I'd be asking the father exactly what was he playing with that cut him and why on earth have your parents put your baby to bed like this???

Everything about this story is weird.

Excuse me! Do not come onto my post accusing me of things! Of course I looked at my baby's hand! And monitored the blood and it has stopped if you read my comments!
Obviously I'm fuming and so pin pointed the key things here! You really think I'd be coming in here if my baby's hand had not stopped bleeding and I didn't know if it was serious or not?! NO.

Its could have been a genuine accident - just one of those things that happen from time to time. in which case there is no point being angry - your child could have an accident on your watch sometime too.

My children have had all sorts of little accidents over the years despite me trying my best to be a good parent. One of my children got scalded by hot water and was taken by ambulance to hospital with bad burns (but fully recovered) - that was the worst.

or your ex could actually be neglectful…impossible to say based on the information given.

Calm down!

So sorry to hear that. I suppose you're right.. just seeing my baby's hand like that really spiked my protective instincts 😣

If you haven't felt the need to look at it properly yet, it doesn't sound very serious. YABU

Thanks for the honesty guys, think I will apologise for being so furious

I can 100% guarantee op that your child will hurt themselves on your watch. Accidents happen however careful you are but it's hard I know to see your perfect little human being with a cut or bruise.

I cut my hand on a door last week - just a small cut, but it bled profusely and I had blood all over my hand. Hopefully your little one's injury isn't too bad and it's given dad enough of a shock to watch him more carefully in future. But people do make mistakes and children do have accidents no matter how carefully they're supervised.

My DS is 8 months and crawling, last week whilst I had my back turned sorting out a dirty nappy (bagging it up) he pulled up on the coffee table, slipped and banged his eye. It’s really easy even if you’re supervising them as I’m sure you know! Only you know if your ex was likely to be being neglectful or if it was a genuine accident as we don’t know him.

What did you ex say? Did you ask how he cut his hand? I have to say I would probably try nd have a look now and not wait until the morning if it’s that bad.

Accidents happen but he's only 10 months old - what was he playing with that he managed to cut his hand on? You ex should have cleaned his hand with antiseptic wipe and applied pressure to stop the bleeding. He should have sought medical attention if he couldn't stop the bleeding - his local pharmacist would have been able to advise him.

It's a good idea for both of you to do a paediatric first aid course and keep a first aid kit at home - children have lots of bumps and bruises especially in the first few years!

My son was in my care when he fell in a library and needed his face gluing back together it was so bad. Another time I was in soft play with him and he fell and need part of his face gluing back together in another spot. Both times dh was just concerned that we were OK, I was right beside ds both times but shit happens quickly with kids. I've just remembered the time when he was small and we lived in a rental and ds was at the glass coffee table and it broke in big pointy shards, I swear my heart stopped that time and again I was literally right beside him and I still have no idea how it broke.

Think about how you would feel if your son was in a split second accident in your care and everyone was furious with you.

Do neither of you have any plasters? If it was still bleeding then that would have been a logical first step. You know- before a&e......

Sometimes tiny injuries can bleed a lot - it just takes bad luck for a blood vessel to be caught and both hands and children move around a lot, so they can bleed more and for longer than an older person who would stay still and maybe apply pressure for a couple of minutes.

I've done that and never found out what I've caught myself on, a one in ten thousand cat claw that didn't even hurt or a splinter/rough edge nobody noticed until I saw blood. I don't have any clotting issues and I've not been particularly hurt, they've just produced more than a dot of blood; being warm makes it more likely, too.

The instant reaction is understandable, but it really is a case of calming down and reasoning with yourself that he probably didn't leave the baby playing with kitchen knives and it's not something likely to happen again.

Gosh OP. You’ll be co- parenting for a long time. You will definitely make mistakes and your son will definitely get hurt on your watch. You may need a bit of grace yourself one day.

Take a breath , assess and gather more information, then have a calm conversation if needed.

Tbh it couldn’t have been that bad if your parents put him to bed without noticing either- are you mad at them?

I think, as others have said, accidents happen. And little pudgy hands and fingers can bleed a decent amount without it being anything serious necessarily.

@twentytwentyfour2024
Apologies if I offended you it wasn't intentional. I hope your baby's hand will be ok and yeah accidents happen.

Sometimes I sit around marveling at the fact that my children are still alive and nothing truly horrible has happened because wow do babies, toddlers and children (and sometimes teens) seem absolutely determined to injure themselves at every possible opportunity. They're barely out of the oven when they start trying to claw their little faces if you don't keep up with the world's most stressful manicures or make them wear those litle mittens, but then then they get mobile and lord it all just goes on fast forward. Unfortunately they get more creative and determined with their danger-seeking as they grow. Of course we have to be constantly watchful, but every child will still have a pretty steady procession of cuts and bruises.

It doesn't change the fact that we are hard-wired to have powerful reactions to seeing our babies injured, and when your DC needs to be somewhere where you can't monitor and control that adds a whole new level of stress. Your emotions are understandable even if you do perhaps owe an apology for some things you said and how you said them.

Hands bleed a lot (like faces and scalps) because they have extra blood vessels, and the constant moving and stretching of a palm means that cuts there can take a little longer to clot and they're tough to dress properly (especially in a baby who will stick a bandaged hand straight in their mouth or peel it off). If you're ok leaving your DC to sleep now then it sounds like the cut doesn't need A&E care and cleaning it and keeping an eye on it the way dad started and you're continuing is probably the right plan.

It can't be both appalling and A&E worthy and also be something you barely looked at.

But not enough to clean it, examine it, dress it.....