Nits drama

[Hammy28]

I attended a Christmas gathering at the weekend at a friend’s house with my husband and 5yo twins. My friend of approx. 14 years, Mrs X, was also there with her husband and two children (age 3 and 6 months). My parents collected my children at 4pm so the adults could stay and enjoy some drinks. Mrs X and family left at the same time as my parents. At 6pm my mum messaged to say she thought she’d seen nits in one of my children’s hair (I’d had no prior inkling they may have them – there was no scratching and we’d had no warning from school) - I told those still at the party and suggested they check their children’s hair for nits just in case – no one seemed particularly fazed. Nits were confirmed by the pharmacist late morning the next day. I messaged Mrs X around lunchtime to apologise for the inconvenience and to suggest she check her children’s hair. Admittedly I added a screenshot from the nits episode of motherland to make it more lighthearted. Mrs X responded with a foul mouthed expletive ridden tirade (I lost count of how many times she used the F word!) accusing me of putting her family at risk and having no regard for the welfare of her family by waiting until lunchtime the next day to inform her (apparently she’d seen relatives that morning who, in her eyes, are now also at significant risk when they needn’t have been had I messaged the night before). I should add that her kids do not have any specific vulnerabilities. I apologised (numerous times) for the delay in letting her know and even offered to pay for her kids’ treatment if it turned out they had them. Absolutely nothing would placate her and she continued the ranting well into the evening focusing on my lack of regard/consideration for her family – I eventually had to block her just to bring an end to the onslaught. I’ve never been spoken to like that before and frankly never want to lay eyes on her again. My friends/family have seen her messages and think they’re appalling and completely unwarranted however I’m conscious that, as my friends, there will be a degree of bias. Am I being unreasonable here?

In dds first school it was every few weeks in her second never in ds school it was WORMS and rarely nits

I would text back. " I reckon my child got them from yours".

She's not. Nits aren't a given if kids just keep their hair to themselves

If it's constant that's not good is it. Poor kids.

What the hell

Worms? ?? ?

😩

Yes and I have a sen child who puts everything in his mouth for the last 6 years I've treated him every Christmas and just as the 6 weeks holiday starts plus anytime he had "tummy ache" thankfully he has left now

I thought everybody got nits until I met my husband who has never had them.

Schools don’t bothering letting anyone know nowadays, not like when I was young and they would send a letter out if a kid in the class got them

Not true

Ours email the whole class plus any siblings classes if a child has nits.

I reckon a lot of people are not great at sticking to the treatment properly

Eg they believe that hedrin once kills all eggs (nope). Nothing legal to put on a childs head kills all the eggs any more, which is why instructions on all of them say you need to treat at least twice

They believe that any of the treatments (lyclear, hedrin etc) are " poisonous chemicals" or "pesticides" that kill the nits through toxicity (nope, they are a very concentrated solution of dimethicone which is what is put in ordinary conditioner).

They believe that "nits like clean hair" (nope).

They think you can treat without combing for ages over a 3-4 week period (nope).

Oh and my kids haven't had nits or worms and been in school 5 years and they've had kids in both their classes plagued with both. I comb thoroughly every two weeks just in case, put tea tree the conditioner to deter.

Lol I had to do the nit message of shame this morning to a friend who visited yesterday. She was very chill about it, just sent a couple of laughing emojis and "poor you". So probably the other end of the spectrum! I think I would have been slightly more put out but getting aggy at the informer is uncalled for!

Wow, gives you an indication of what kind of parent she is so now you can steer clear! Nits happen - a bit like chicken pox and other unavoidable childhood annoyances - it’s actually quite sad that she can’t rationalise this but you do not deserve to take any abuse. Keep her blocked and move on x

Yeah, we get that privacy rubbish in some schools in New Zealand. I don't have school children anymore, but found out they are considered a public health issue so you can inform the public health nurse and they should act on it. Maybe check your health laws.

She sounds nuts. Text back saying "Are you alright Mrs X? This seems like quite the overreaction to nits which are rife in primary schools across the country and not something that causes any lasting harm to anyone. Easily treated with either lotion or conditioner and a comb too. Is there something else going on because this is most unlike you?"

What a complete overreaction!
I’ve got 5 kids and 3 of them never got nits but 2 of them got them from school all the time, as soon as that email came from the school I could guarantee 70% of the time they’d get them! It’s just one of those inconveniences but certainly nothing to go nuclear over!
You did the right thing in telling people, her behaviour is her problem not yours.

Did her kids even have nits? It would be interesting to know if they had a few or were completely infested, as they probably already had them if the latter.

My DD had nits for a year. She was in a class with a girl who had really long curly hair and whose mum just couldn't seem to get rid of them, so everyone else kept getting reinfected. It was a bit annoying, but even then no-one reacted this way.

I never had nits as a child, but I remember the "nit nurse" coming to school to check us all.

Ugh. My head itches just reading this. We had our first experience of nits this year, and I should have heeded my 8yo scratching his head as a warning sign. Wasn’t until I got the nitty gritty out that I found them. Having boys makes this somewhat easier, I just gave them a buzz cut which really helped. Problem was I got them and that was an epic nightmare! Lots of my kids have friends whose hair looks like actual birds nests so I suspect nits may be rife particularly in the 8yo’s friendship circle

Well; if lots of other school parents don’t bother, it will be constant.

I have up with nit treatments as it would have bankrupted us. So every other night it’s the nitty gritty. You think you are on an even keel and then bam, there are some lice. For all of us and it’s such a pain in the arse, it takes ages, especially me as I’ve got long, thick hair.

All the school can do is keep sending out reminders but there are still kids with heads full of them and parents who don’t care. It’s a really deprived area and to be honest head lice are the least of the schools issues.

That's so sad. Do you think it's worth me donating headlice treatment to the food bank?

As far as I know they haven't got them though I don't know for sure.

Oh, they don’t do it as they can’t afford it. Plenty of cash to spend on the weed they smoke on the school run. The stench of it on some of them at the reception nativity play was unbelievable. Believe me, the school have bigger fish to fry than head lice where I live.

Some parents just don’t give a shit. We had to stop one girl coming over, she would be sitting here colouring in and would be pulling huge lice out of her hair. Her mum used to laugh it off and say it wasn’t a problem.

I’m also not sure a food bank would take things deemed to be for medical use for allergy reasons.

Thanks. That's sad.

Omg - get over the fact she took her kids to a pharmacist; it's getting really boring.

Sorry Mrs X was so abusive to you.

That’s a crazy over-reaction.
She will get a shock when they go to school.

DD had nits constantly for a couple of years due to a child in her class with very long hair who was riddled with them.
You could see them crawling in this child’s hair, I also wouldn’t invite her over to play because of it. We were getting nit letters every few weeks. I think the school dealt with it in the end.

We coped by using the nitty gritty comb every hair wash (constant treatments would have bankrupted me).

I’ve had to send the nit email of shame before and the normal response is ‘poor you, thanks for letting me know’

Eugh nits is the one thing that sets me off. After having a terrible time of it as a child think burnt scrap from the locations and potions, scratching raw then having to have my whole head shaved.

Still would not have reacted like her. Would have made a mental note to also make sure children where extra doused in repellents when around you mind.