Nits drama

[Hammy28]

I attended a Christmas gathering at the weekend at a friend’s house with my husband and 5yo twins. My friend of approx. 14 years, Mrs X, was also there with her husband and two children (age 3 and 6 months). My parents collected my children at 4pm so the adults could stay and enjoy some drinks. Mrs X and family left at the same time as my parents. At 6pm my mum messaged to say she thought she’d seen nits in one of my children’s hair (I’d had no prior inkling they may have them – there was no scratching and we’d had no warning from school) - I told those still at the party and suggested they check their children’s hair for nits just in case – no one seemed particularly fazed. Nits were confirmed by the pharmacist late morning the next day. I messaged Mrs X around lunchtime to apologise for the inconvenience and to suggest she check her children’s hair. Admittedly I added a screenshot from the nits episode of motherland to make it more lighthearted. Mrs X responded with a foul mouthed expletive ridden tirade (I lost count of how many times she used the F word!) accusing me of putting her family at risk and having no regard for the welfare of her family by waiting until lunchtime the next day to inform her (apparently she’d seen relatives that morning who, in her eyes, are now also at significant risk when they needn’t have been had I messaged the night before). I should add that her kids do not have any specific vulnerabilities. I apologised (numerous times) for the delay in letting her know and even offered to pay for her kids’ treatment if it turned out they had them. Absolutely nothing would placate her and she continued the ranting well into the evening focusing on my lack of regard/consideration for her family – I eventually had to block her just to bring an end to the onslaught. I’ve never been spoken to like that before and frankly never want to lay eyes on her again. My friends/family have seen her messages and think they’re appalling and completely unwarranted however I’m conscious that, as my friends, there will be a degree of bias. Am I being unreasonable here?

nits

I’m also confused as it why you didn’t tell people straight away.

My youngest is 6 and for the last year, we have battled the little shits on average, every 6 weeks. Our school aren't allowed to put out alerts about headlice, which is infuriating because I am spending a fortune in time and money trying to get rid, just for a new cycle to start a few weeks down the line. I do usually catch them quick enough but at times it seems like I'm the only parent actually dealing with it 🥲 all this to say, if I was with a friend and she messaged me the next day to say 'looks like my littles have nits/lice', I obviously wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't blame them, I'd say thanks for the heads up, I'll be sure to check my own kids. I'd definitely gripe to myself, like here we fucking go again 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 but it's the situation, not the people in this case. What a daft thing to fall out with someone over, chill your tits Mrs X 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hahahha

They used to have a nurse in schools to check. It’s great that pharmacists apparently do this, first time mums always faint at the idea of nits

If my kids had nits, I’m not sure I would have even bothered to tell anyone I had been with! Schools don’t bothering letting anyone know nowadays, not like when I was young and they would send a letter out if a kid in the class got them

Nit alerts do not happen every few weeks. We've not had any in 2 whole terms.

Could Mrs X have PND seems a bit of an overreaction and so soon after baby could be maybe. Especially if it's out of character.

This is hilarious. She's going to have a rude awakening when her kids start school 😂

I accepted I should have told her when I found out my kids may have them rather than wait until the next day - and apologised to her a number of times for not doing so. But the apologies just seemed to fuel her rage further :-/

I guess possibly but she does have prior form of "going off" at other people (thankfully not me until now!) before she had kids. But yes perhaps she's certainly struggling with exhaustion etc.

This! We used to use a nit comb and tea tree conditioner. By far the best and most eco way of getting rid. Unfortunately, some people don't keep on top of it, so the cycle continues...

yes and schools still allow kids with nits into school (rightly or wrongly!) unlike sickness bugs when they have to stay home for 48 hours. No one else we told at the party was remotely bothered. In hindsight perhaps we'd have been better off staying quiet :-/

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Thank you- totally agree. Yes I'd be a bit put out and would have had a whinge to my husband as it's a faff but wouldn't have blamed my friend for it in any way! Such a crazy thing to fall out over - still digesting it!

Fuck me, it’s nuts, not typhoid.

I’ve been in a constant cycle of nits with my two youngest for years now. It’s a pain in the arse having to use that fucking nitty gritty all the time, but I’m not going to cry about it it.

At least it was only nits. I saw a threadworm wiggling and poking it's head out of a soft poo when I was wiping my toddlers bum. We all had it - midnight acidic itchy bums too. 💩 🐛🪱

I can understand why she was pissed off that you didn't tell her straight away because now she has to tell other parents that their kids may potentially have them. However her reaction was way over the top and extreme!

Nits only become normalised at school age for most people, so this will have probably been her first time even thinking about it.

The idea is pretty horrifying, much worse than the reality tbh. Let her freak out, it's unlikely her kids will even have caught them from you so she won't even have to call anyone or do anything but check.

Let it blow over, don't escalate the drama any further. She'll check (maybe treat) and calm down. Send a merry Christmas message and pick up like nothing happened.

Has anyone told her about threadworm?!

totally agree. I accepted I should have told her when I found out and apologised for that, quite a few times. It was the extreme reaction that I can't understand, don't think it was warranted.

Why did you have to go to a pharmacy to get nits confirmed!? 😂😂

As above I wasn't with them. My mum had them and took them to the pharmacy the next morning. Probably bad wording on my part to say the nits were confirmed, rather mum was given the appropriate lotion.

Maybe if you'd passed on a rampant sickness bug she would be in her rights to be angry.. but nits!! Oh my goodness what a drama queen! My son caught nits at a sleepover.. the mum told me I checked and dealt with it. What does she think is going to happen!?? Weird.

Maybe I don't know if she has form like. Maybe give it a while to calm down and try talk to her. I would def be saying her behaviour is not acceptable in any circumstance.