Nativity or no Nativity?

Usedphone · 2024-12-17T09:27:29+00:00

I had a separate thread about our DS (5) and how he was dealing with the flu. Long story short, his nativity is on today and school has let me to just take him to play his part, rather than having a whole day at school. The problem is that due to a scare yesterday, my DH left work early yesterday so wouldn't want to leave early today for the nativity and he doesn't want to miss it. The second complication, is that I have to travel to my Christmas do tomorrow (which includes an off site) so there's the possibility that my DH might have to leave work early as I don't think our DS will be well enough to have such a long day at school (with all the wraparound). But I don't want him to miss his first Nativity, but I understand it's probably for th best.

NerrSnerr · 17/12/2024 09:30

The question is whether your husband's work are ok with him finishing early for a couple of days?

I assume even if your husband isn't there for the nativity you will still take your son? If his work is ok with him finishing early then husband comes, if they're not then he doesn't.

MidnightPatrol · 17/12/2024 09:31

This is a conversation for your DH, ie can he leave early.

Some jobs are fine with this, some won’t be. We can’t know which his is.

DappledThings · 17/12/2024 09:33

So your question of "Nativity or no Nativity?" is a question of whether your DH should leave early to make it? Not about whether your son goes or not?

I'm not clear what the issue is. Your DH might make it, might not. You just plan to go anyway.

Original poster

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:35

My DH has a LONG history with not wanting to piss off his employers. He also left early a couple of days last week because I had the flu and he needed to do the school runs.

So no, he's not leaving early, and he'll probably be really annoyed with me for taking our DS to his nativity because he would.miss it and he has clearly stated he wants to be there.

OP posts:

Original poster

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:36

DappledThings · 17/12/2024 09:33

So your question of "Nativity or no Nativity?" is a question of whether your DH should leave early to make it? Not about whether your son goes or not?

I'm not clear what the issue is. Your DH might make it, might not. You just plan to go anyway.

No it's more do I take him against my DH wishes or not.

OP posts:

DappledThings · 17/12/2024 09:36

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:35

My DH has a LONG history with not wanting to piss off his employers. He also left early a couple of days last week because I had the flu and he needed to do the school runs.

So no, he's not leaving early, and he'll probably be really annoyed with me for taking our DS to his nativity because he would.miss it and he has clearly stated he wants to be there.

He'd rather you miss it too and your son misses being in it because he can't make it? That's massively selfish.

tuesdayzchild · 17/12/2024 09:36

You don't want your 5 year old, too sick with the flu to go all day to school son, to miss his first nativity play, but you think it's for the best if he does?

Listen to your own inner common sense, for the sake of your son who likely feels quite unwell, and for the sake of the kids and adults he'll be exposing the virus to.

There will be other nativities, don't make you sick son participate, and for what reason?

StrawberryWater · 17/12/2024 09:38

If your son is ill with the flu keep him home. Poor lad needs his bed and rest not to be paraded on stage when he's looking and feeling ropey.

Also, think of everyone else here. Do you really want to spread his germs around and potentially infect everyone else?

LIZS · 17/12/2024 09:39

So he'd rather noone had the nativity than he miss out? How strange.

Original poster

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:46

StrawberryWater · 17/12/2024 09:38

If your son is ill with the flu keep him home. Poor lad needs his bed and rest not to be paraded on stage when he's looking and feeling ropey.

Also, think of everyone else here. Do you really want to spread his germs around and potentially infect everyone else?

I think he stopped being contagious a couple of days ago, considering his first day with symptoms was Friday evening.

He's back to his normal self (for the most part).

Is he well enough to be in a 20min play? Yes 100%

Is he well enough to be at school tomorrow from 8 til 530? Definitely not but we've both got work commitments.

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NerrSnerr · 17/12/2024 09:47

So no, he's not leaving early, and he'll probably be really annoyed with me for taking our DS to his nativity because he would.miss it and he has clearly stated he wants to be there.

This is not normal.

Do you think your son is well enough to go to his nativity? If so take him and watch. I have a poorly child at home today but she'd manage a 30 minutes school play.

Is this how you want to live your life? Not doing things for your child because your husband will get annoyed? Is that how you want your son to live?

DazedAndConfused321 · 17/12/2024 09:50

Your son has flu but feels better after barely 5 days? It's not flu then, it's a cold? There's no set contagion period so you don't actually know if he's not contagious, but you're saying it's 3 days. Maybe just keep him at home

niadainud · 17/12/2024 09:51

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:35

My DH has a LONG history with not wanting to piss off his employers. He also left early a couple of days last week because I had the flu and he needed to do the school runs.

So no, he's not leaving early, and he'll probably be really annoyed with me for taking our DS to his nativity because he would.miss it and he has clearly stated he wants to be there.

How very dog in the manger of him. Appropriately.

LegoHouse274 · 17/12/2024 09:52

DazedAndConfused321 · 17/12/2024 09:50

Your son has flu but feels better after barely 5 days? It's not flu then, it's a cold? There's no set contagion period so you don't actually know if he's not contagious, but you're saying it's 3 days. Maybe just keep him at home

Agree with this. He's either well enough for school or not, the nativity is neither here nor there assuming it's during school hours. It's really not a big deal.

SometimesCalmPerson · 17/12/2024 09:54

Your DH is being very selfish by saying that your ds shouldn’t be in the nativity unless he’s there to see it. It’s not about him, it’s about your child taking part in something that he’s been working towards with his class.

Emmacb82 · 17/12/2024 09:58

I find it bizarre that if he is not well enough to be at school all day, that the school are even happy to let him in for just the nativity. He is either well enough to be there or not, there shouldn’t be an in between. And your husband is being very unreasonable that he would not be happy for you to go and see the nativity without him. It’s disappointing when you have to miss the kids stuff but you shouldn’t be made to even question going or feeling bad!

Original poster

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:59

DazedAndConfused321 · 17/12/2024 09:50

Your son has flu but feels better after barely 5 days? It's not flu then, it's a cold? There's no set contagion period so you don't actually know if he's not contagious, but you're saying it's 3 days. Maybe just keep him at home

With temperatures above 40, and vomiting blood (at some point) it was definitely not just a cold.

We were completely knocked out for a week and I wasn't able to eat for 4 days and lost weight.

We've remained with lingering coughs. My husband still has a fever on and off.

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Original poster

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 10:01

Emmacb82 · 17/12/2024 09:58

I find it bizarre that if he is not well enough to be at school all day, that the school are even happy to let him in for just the nativity. He is either well enough to be there or not, there shouldn’t be an in between. And your husband is being very unreasonable that he would not be happy for you to go and see the nativity without him. It’s disappointing when you have to miss the kids stuff but you shouldn’t be made to even question going or feeling bad!

If I hadn't panicked about the vomit yesterday, he wouldn't have come home and we'd be going to the nativity today.

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NerrSnerr · 17/12/2024 10:03

The nativity is neither here nor there. The fact that you feel you're not allowed to go to the nativity is a massive red flag.

AyrshireTryer · 17/12/2024 10:04

Taking child with flu to school, so he can infect others and hopefully their parents and grandparents. The school is being stupid.

GoogolB · 17/12/2024 10:11

So your DH wants your son to miss out on his nativity just because he can’t be there? Nope.

PeskyRooks · 17/12/2024 10:14

I kind of see where your husband is coming from, so yesterday your son was so ill and vomiting blood and you panicked phoned your husband and he left work early.

So your husband thought well that's blown my chances of leaving early tomorrow then but oh well it doesn't matter because obviously son won't be going anyway he's too ill.

But now today you're saying oh I think I will take son actually so your husband is annoyed because he can't come.

Anyway it is sad but I wouldn't take your son. It feels like a huge thing to miss but children do miss things through being ill, my dd missed the pantomime last year, was gutted for her but it's just one of those things!

LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 17/12/2024 10:15

If your child was puking (blood?!) yesterday he shouldn’t be mixing with anyone at school today, he should be at home recovering.

On a separate note, are you saying that if your husband can’t make it to the nativity play then he doesn’t want you or your son to go either? Have I understood that right? If so I am shocked at the selfishness and you have bigger issues most likely.

Floralnomad · 17/12/2024 10:16

If your son is well enough to go into school for the day then he should be doing so whether it is the Nativity or not and whether your husband can come and watch or not .

Emmacb82 · 17/12/2024 10:18

If he vomited yesterday then he shouldn’t be going in. And your husband still has a fever so he shouldn’t be going anywhere either. This gets odder and odder 🤷🏼‍♀️