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Original poster

Nativity or no Nativity?

71 replies

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:27

I had a separate thread about our DS (5) and how he was dealing with the flu.

Long story short, his nativity is on today and school has let me to just take him to play his part, rather than having a whole day at school.

The problem is that due to a scare yesterday, my DH left work early yesterday so wouldn't want to leave early today for the nativity and he doesn't want to miss it.

The second complication, is that I have to travel to my Christmas do tomorrow (which includes an off site) so there's the possibility that my DH might have to leave work early as I don't think our DS will be well enough to have such a long day at school (with all the wraparound).

But I don't want him to miss his first Nativity, but I understand it's probably for th best.

OP posts:
Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 10:18

NerrSnerr · 17/12/2024 10:03

The nativity is neither here nor there. The fact that you feel you're not allowed to go to the nativity is a massive red flag.

He thought the whole idea of just going for the nativity was a silly idea and the school would never approve, but they did!

OP posts:
Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 10:27

LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 17/12/2024 10:15

If your child was puking (blood?!) yesterday he shouldn’t be mixing with anyone at school today, he should be at home recovering.

On a separate note, are you saying that if your husband can’t make it to the nativity play then he doesn’t want you or your son to go either? Have I understood that right? If so I am shocked at the selfishness and you have bigger issues most likely.

Yes, the vile was peach colour (sorry if TMI!)

And yes that's the whole point that he doesn't want to miss it, so no Nativity.

OP posts:
crumpet · 17/12/2024 10:30

Hang on. Your DH thinks that if he can’t make it to the Nativity then neither you nor your DS should go?

that is utterly bonkers! Is he normally this odd and unreasonable?

HamptonPlace · 17/12/2024 10:45

Normal policy no school until 2 days after last instance of vomiting no? Leaving aside the medical question, very unreasonable employer not to allow an employee to leave a tad earlier (make up later, not doubt probably works more than contractual hours anyway) for a child's nativity? They are so special! in our school there is only 1/2 nativities depending on the DC age...

Oddsquadnumber1 · 17/12/2024 10:54

If your son was vomiting blood yesterday then the answer is he obviously shouldn't be in the nativity.

Your DH ruling that if he can't go no one can is a separate issue

AlmostFingDone · 17/12/2024 11:07

If your child was vomiting blood yesterday he absolutely should not be at his nativity today.

However, your DH is being an absolute twat to say that if he cannot attend the nativity then your son cannot be in it. That is controlling and horrible behaviour.

Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 11:18

HamptonPlace · 17/12/2024 10:45

Normal policy no school until 2 days after last instance of vomiting no? Leaving aside the medical question, very unreasonable employer not to allow an employee to leave a tad earlier (make up later, not doubt probably works more than contractual hours anyway) for a child's nativity? They are so special! in our school there is only 1/2 nativities depending on the DC age...

It's because he's been leaving early due to put son quite a few times this week and last, that's the issue

OP posts:
tuesdayzchild · 17/12/2024 11:29

Confusing a bit. Okay, well if DH is not usually controlling by nature, and no previous issues, he had convinced himself that the school wouldn't want your DS to come in, after being quite ill, and just for the play.

So when he found out that yes, the school was ok with DS coming in, just for the play, he was disappointed that he felt he would miss out on seeing it.

If no previous control issues, then why not just let your child stay at home and completely recover?

He's only FIVE years old!

Then DH doesn't have to beg anytime off, after taking precious time off to look after you when you were sick ( lucky you btw) and for a play that his sick son shouldn't be participating in anyway?

Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 11:46

DS doesn't want to go anyway!

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 17/12/2024 12:05

Sorry but if he's too ill to be at school he can't do the nativity. School shouldn't have said you could do that. I wouldn't want a child with flu being brought in to do the nativity and risk spreading flu to my kids just before Christmas (or worse vulnerable people in the audience).
There will be plenty more nativity plays.

user2848502016 · 17/12/2024 12:12

Your DH is a separate issue. I agree with him that DS shouldn't be in school or the play today. But missing it just be he can't be there - no that's selfish and weird

Tiswa · 17/12/2024 12:15

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 09:36

No it's more do I take him against my DH wishes or not.

Show quote history

So your DH would rather everyone missed it rather than just him including his own son

is this the one who held back in taking his son to A&E bexause he has done one wee and not none

anyway yiur son is the most important does he feel up to it and want to go and is he well enough to do it anything else is immaterial

Babyboomtastic · 17/12/2024 12:17

No. You can't take him to the Nativity. You'd risk wrecking everyone's Christmas and it would be the height of selfishness.

Reading your other thread, your son vomitted at least 4 tines yesterday, had a 40+ fever and may or may not (you don't say in the end) have ended up at A&E.

I am outraged that the school would allow him in less than 24 hours after a bug with vomiting. I'm even more outraged that you think it would be appropriate to take him and put everyone at risk like that.

I got eviscerated on here for taking my daughter to a santa event 40 hours after a one off vomit during a coughing fit, and you want to take your daughter to a school event the week before Christmas, less than 24 hours after an actual vomiting bug. Holy cow.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 17/12/2024 12:19

i think it’s awful he’d rather your son didn’t take part if he couldn’t be there to watch it. Can’t you film it?

Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 12:19

Babyboomtastic · 17/12/2024 12:17

No. You can't take him to the Nativity. You'd risk wrecking everyone's Christmas and it would be the height of selfishness.

Reading your other thread, your son vomitted at least 4 tines yesterday, had a 40+ fever and may or may not (you don't say in the end) have ended up at A&E.

I am outraged that the school would allow him in less than 24 hours after a bug with vomiting. I'm even more outraged that you think it would be appropriate to take him and put everyone at risk like that.

I got eviscerated on here for taking my daughter to a santa event 40 hours after a one off vomit during a coughing fit, and you want to take your daughter to a school event the week before Christmas, less than 24 hours after an actual vomiting bug. Holy cow.

We didn't have to go to A&E in the end, and he doesn't have a vomiting bug, he's got the flu like we all have in the house for the past week.

Vomiting/diarrhea is common in children with the flu.

OP posts:
AgeGapBbe · 17/12/2024 12:19

Your DH is a controlling arsehole. I’m on the fence about the illness part.

Tiswa · 17/12/2024 12:22

He is unwell OP and not well enough to go and into school he needs to rest that is the right decision for him

the fact yiu called him back yesterday is fine anyone would have done the same the fact he has made you feel bad and the Miss out on today is a DH problem

Babyboomtastic · 17/12/2024 12:25

Oh, and this is from someone whose reception age child also missed their nativity this year because of vomitting (a different bug from the one the previous week), and then spent 2 days at home when perfectly well, because of the 48hr rule. I get it, its rubbish, but it's better than spreading a vomiting bug at Christmas.

2dogsandabudgie · 17/12/2024 12:30

Just keep the poor boy at home. If he's not well enough to go back to school don't take him out when he's not feeling 100% just so he can spend 20 minutes in a nativity.

Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 12:31

He's definitely not going (his choice) but he's definitely going to school tomorrow. I think he could go, but like I said he'd need a normal day, not with full wraparound.

OP posts:
Babyboomtastic · 17/12/2024 12:35

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 12:31

He's definitely not going (his choice) but he's definitely going to school tomorrow. I think he could go, but like I said he'd need a normal day, not with full wraparound.

He shouldn't be going back tomorrow either.

Original poster
Usedphone · 17/12/2024 13:04

Babyboomtastic · 17/12/2024 12:35

He shouldn't be going back tomorrow either.

Show quote history

I mean he's racing laps around the house so don't know what to believe any more!

OP posts:
BodyKeepingScore · 17/12/2024 13:07

If your son has the flu surely it's not fair to other children to risk making them unwell by bringing him in to play his part in the nativity? That seems quite selfish before Christmas...

crumpet · 17/12/2024 13:07

Usedphone · 17/12/2024 11:18

It's because he's been leaving early due to put son quite a few times this week and last, that's the issue

Show quote history

It’s not the issue. Whether your son is or isn’t well enough for the nativity happens to thousands of kids each year who might not be well enough, and is a non-issue although of course disappointing if they are not well enough.

the issue is why on earth does your husband feel he can or should ban you/your ds just because he can’t go. That’s the issue!

KneesUnder · 17/12/2024 13:12

If he was vomiting blood yesterday he shouldn’t be in school today, however well you think he seems. He doesn’t want to go anyway, so problem solved.

Your husband sounds awful and I can’t believe you’d prevent your son taking part in his nativity just because your husband couldn’t be there. But your son can’t do the nativity anyway so it’s rather academic.