Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to somewhere like Bicester or Cheshire Oaks with toddler

50 replies

MrsMust · 17/12/2024 05:39

Over the holidays my whole family want to go somewhere like Bicester or Cheshire Oaks together to do some shopping in the sales (after Christmas). My 20 month old is the only baby/child in the family and I feel like everyone either doesn't know what it's like to have a baby or has forgotten what it's like to have a baby.

I feel like taking my toddler there is really unfair on her. It will be really crowded, and probably quite boring for her. I feel like if she gets bored, we'll be stuck in the middle of a retail park with nothing great to do. In general I don't take my toddler out for a day of clothes shopping or browsing as I feel it's really not a baby friendly activity. And from my perspective, I wouldn't be doing much shopping myself as I imagine I'd be spending most of the time entertaining my toddler (which I'm happy to do obviously!) but I just feel like this is one family thing we can sit out. AIBU?

OP posts:
Mumistiredzzzz · 17/12/2024 05:40

Just say you don't want to go.
My idea of a nightmare day out!

Sirzy · 17/12/2024 05:41

If you don’t want to go don’t go. But not everything you do has to be 100% focused on the toddler. Going shopping - if you want to - is absolutely fine. Places like Cheshire oaks have play areas too where she can let of some stream.

Guavafish1 · 17/12/2024 05:41

If you don’t want to go… don’t

Simonjt · 17/12/2024 05:43

Cheshire oaks has a fairly big play area near McDonalds

SharpOpalNewt · 17/12/2024 05:44

I wouldn't want to go on a big family shopping day full stop toddler or no toddler.

Ponoka7 · 17/12/2024 05:45

I babysit my grandchildren when my DD goes to CO. There are play areas, but unless someone is occasionally going to take over, you won't really get much out of the day, shopping wise, unless you are just after a handbag etc.

Agix · 17/12/2024 05:47

It's perhaps less that they don't understand what it's like to have a toddler/have forgotten, but more like that's an activity they all want to do and your toddler isn't at the centre of their plans or thinking.

Just dont go if you don't want to.

Redcrayons · 17/12/2024 05:48

If it’s Cheshire Oaks, take your toddler to Blue Planet aquarium while they are shopping, just meet up for lunch.

BarkLife · 17/12/2024 06:02

Just down the road from Bicester Village is a garden centre with soft play - go there instead? There's also Garth Park in town, it's a nice spot.

phoenixbiscuits · 17/12/2024 06:12

My child is the only one in the extended family, so I can relate that nothing is planned to be child friendly at all.

However, she's always been up for a potter around the shops. If you don't want to take yours though, just don't go.

showersandflowers · 17/12/2024 06:16

I've taken my toddler plenty of times to Bicester and never thought twice about it. Do you take your toddler food shopping? Sometimes they have to go places that aren't 100% about them and that's okay. Honestly, she loves going new places and wandering about so it's always been great. The changing facilities there are top notch too. It's okay to do things for you and to bring the toddler, it's good for them to learn to be in the real world where not everything is a farm or a soft play.

Equally, if you don't want to go just don't.

smokeandflame · 17/12/2024 06:19

Sirzy · 17/12/2024 05:41

If you don’t want to go don’t go. But not everything you do has to be 100% focused on the toddler. Going shopping - if you want to - is absolutely fine. Places like Cheshire oaks have play areas too where she can let of some stream.

I agree with this.

Don't go if you don't fancy it, obviously (I certainly would never see shopping with the whole family as an activity!)

But I think it's important that toddlers learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and participate in wider life. Sometimes life is mundane and boring and not very toddler/ baby friendly. Sometimes they have to sit in a restaurant or tag along to do chores, etc.

And really, any time spent out in the world is a learning experience for such a young child. Just because it's not a soft play etc doesn't mean they don't get anything from the experience.

Jennyathemall · 17/12/2024 06:22

Welcome to life with a child.

UninventiveName · 17/12/2024 06:42

I agree that taking your child shopping shows them that the world doesn’t revolve around them but I don’t agree that needs to be with a lot of family in tow or at the busiest time of the year. If it’s close meet for lunch. If it’s not then I’d be making my excuses.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 17/12/2024 06:45

Chreshire Oaks is full of dogs 🤢

Itsmyluckyegg · 17/12/2024 06:48

Normally I’d be ok with it. Boxing Day sale time? Absolutely not. It will be ridiculously busy. We were at CO on Sunday, and it was rammed. It will be busier after Christmas too.

You can hire the little car things for them, but I’ve not used them to know if they are help or hindrance.

stickybear · 17/12/2024 06:48

If you're anywhere near Swindon, the outlet centre there has a good play area and little cars you can push toddlers around the centre in. There's also the Steam railway museum directly opposite so if it gets too much then there are lots of trains to go and look at

PiastriThePastry · 17/12/2024 06:50

Agix · 17/12/2024 05:47

It's perhaps less that they don't understand what it's like to have a toddler/have forgotten, but more like that's an activity they all want to do and your toddler isn't at the centre of their plans or thinking.

Just dont go if you don't want to.

Agree with this, they’re not being remotely unreasonable or even unfair. Their lives don’t need to revolve around what is suitable for a toddler, although I understand it feels like yours will forever!
I assume there’s no one forcing you to join them!

malmi · 17/12/2024 06:51

Great outdoor play area at Bicester too with a cafe adjacent so you can get a coffee.

Shout out to McArthur Glen West Midlands, a smaller outlet village with s great play area and you can follow a path from there to an actual reservoir and wooded area. Our toddler loves it there. Also great changing facilities.

YABU as there are few places suitable for both adults and children to meet and these outlets are actually one of them

DaveWatts · 17/12/2024 06:53

Bicester has good facilities for families and a great play area but your dc might be a little on the young side for it. And you won't exactly be having a nice family day if you're stuck there while everyone else is in the shops! I'd never go in the holidays anyway, it'll be stupidly busy. If its not that far could you just go and join them there for lunch?

the7Vabo · 17/12/2024 07:32

Sirzy · 17/12/2024 05:41

If you don’t want to go don’t go. But not everything you do has to be 100% focused on the toddler. Going shopping - if you want to - is absolutely fine. Places like Cheshire oaks have play areas too where she can let of some stream.

This. You have a 20 month old not a newborn. Taking her to a retail park isn’t that big a deal IMO.

KrisAkabusi · 17/12/2024 07:35

My 20 month old is the only baby/child in the family and I feel like everyone either doesn't know what it's like to have a baby or has forgotten what it's like to have a baby.

They don't have to put their lives on hold because you had a baby. If you don't want to go, then don't. But it's not fair for you to feel put out by your family. They're not doing anything wrong.

AlmostFingDone · 17/12/2024 07:40

Sounds reasonable of them to want to go, and reasonable of you to want to sit it out!

Our kids have been to Bicester plenty, it’s close to us and we pop in sometimes, but it will be rammed at this time of year so I wouldn’t take the kids.

NotParticularly · 17/12/2024 07:43

KrisAkabusi · 17/12/2024 07:35

My 20 month old is the only baby/child in the family and I feel like everyone either doesn't know what it's like to have a baby or has forgotten what it's like to have a baby.

They don't have to put their lives on hold because you had a baby. If you don't want to go, then don't. But it's not fair for you to feel put out by your family. They're not doing anything wrong.

This. I agree taking a toddler to an outlet mall would be like the seventh circle of hell, but it’s entirely optional for you and your toddler to go. No one else is being unreasonable to want to, though,

alfhroa · 17/12/2024 07:46

Honestly don't know how some people function in the wild. Just. Say. No. (Thank you!).