To cancel everything cos I'm burnt out?

[Balaclava1000]

I'm currently sick with a heavy cold and aches and pains and insomnia and I'm starting to panic that I've over committed myself for this week and next week and feel like cancelling everything. Would that be a bad idea and do you think I've been foolish for over booking myself? December has been pretty full on so far and I have one DD and we've already seen Santa, gone to a concert, xmas movies etc.

What's booked in:
-Tuesday to Thursday work in office

• Wednesday I have work secret santa and a playdate and then supposed to go to cinema for xmas movie with my partner
• Thursday i have my book group secret santa
• Friday I'm helping on the door for my friend's xmas concert and finishing xmas shopping
• Saturday I've to take my dd to cinema with her friend, then to a birthday party, then help out at my mum's xmas fayre, then meeting friends for our annual xmas lunch
• Sunday I've to meet my aunt and partner for lunch as won't see her over xmas
• Monday night booked in hotel
• Tuesday xmas eve cleaning wrapping presents etc
• xmas day at restaurant then sisters
• 26th a in laws
• 27th day off
• 28th concert in town
• 29th carnival with in laws kids
• 30th nothing
• 31st panto and meal

I actually feel sick and wonder if this level of activity is normal or if there is something wrong with me? Also what should I cancel bearing in mind I don't want to let people down. Also how do others avoid getting into such situations!?

Thanks for reading.

Honestly don’t mean to give you a kicking when you’re down, OP, but going to all this stuff and being around all these people when you’re clearly sick is a really, really shitty thing to do as you’ll end up passing it round and ruining other people’s celebrations.

Being ill is an easy get-out clause as nobody wants other people’s germs, so you can cancel without guilt. You’ve had some good suggestions as to how to prioritise your commitments and should concentrate on getting yourself well so you & DD can enjoy Christmas. Hope you have a good one.

Really it’s only until the end of the weekend that you are busy - after that it’s quiet enough really and you’re not hosting Christmas Dinner,

It’s the next few days - cancel book club meet-up but send the SS gift. Tell your friend now that you’re ill and can’t help with the concert on Friday. Maybe drop a few things on Saturday - but what ?

Today is Tues 17th and you have a bad cold. I think you should cancel everything for the next 2-3 days and then see how you feel. A cold typically takes about 5 days and then you feel a lot better. So WFH, if you can, cancel the social stuff and then re-evaluate once you're feeling better. But I honestly wouldn't be cancelling things that are two or three weeks away when you stand to lose money and will almost certainly be fine by then.

hat's booked in:
-Tuesday to Thursday work in office

• Wednesday I have work secret santa and a playdate and then supposed to go to cinema for xmas movie with my partner

cancel- you’re sick

• Thursday i have my book group secret santa

meh- either drop the gift off or cancel

• Friday I'm helping on the door for my friend's xmas concert and finishing xmas shopping

depends really on what the ‘helping’ means/ if it’s half an hour, I wouldn’t want to let her down. If it’s 3 hours of heavy volunteering I’d be a little more wary re whether you’ll be well enough. Do you really need to go shopping?

• Saturday I've to take my dd to cinema with her friend, then to a birthday party, then help out at my mum's xmas fayre, then meeting friends for our annual xmas lunch

This feels like the day that is most pressured. Could you drop the cinema and see if a friend could take your DD to the party? Lunch should be nice. It’s the fayre that seems to be adding more pressure.

• Sunday I've to meet my aunt and partner for lunch as won't see her over xmas

fine- you’re just going for lunch

• Monday night booked in hotel

fine- this should be relaxing

• Tuesday xmas eve cleaning wrapping presents etc

can’t really avoid this!

• xmas day at restaurant then sisters

fine- and seems fairly easy if you’re eating out and not catering at home.

• 26th a in laws
• 27th day off
• 28th concert in town
• 29th carnival with in laws kids
• 30th nothing
• 31st panto and mea

All of these fine, well spaced out and pretty normal.

Wild amount of things to have in the diary. I limit myself to one thing a week (2 at a push!) so would be cancelling the vast majority of what you have planned.

I also have this virus and am currently on my 4th day off work and missed my annual couples night at the weekend but them the breaks!

You need to fulfil Your secret Santa obligation as the chain will collapse. You do t need to be there though- have someone drop off your gifts.

dont help on the concert door - you’re ill.

hopefully by Saturday you’ll feel better enough to take DD to her party (but you could see if another mum could do it?)

then play it by ear.

you need the rest of this week to convalesce.

Haven't read the replies but your post makes me feel exhausted. I'd be tempted to say I had covid. Stay off everything and turn phone off. Only deal with the priorities.

Yanbu to not carry on with a busy schedule when you’re feeling burnt out. Take at least until the weekend to completely rest - you’re ill so a good reason to cancel Tues-fri. Hopefully that will be restorative and you’ll feel up to everything else from that point as it’s not an overly demanding schedule from Sunday onwards if you’re starting from a good place. Maybe cancel some of the Saturday activities, like helping at the fayre.

Your schedule looks pretty normal for this time of year, BUT, when you are ill, uou can cancel anything that's unnecessary eg Secret Santa, socialising. You need to recover, and not infect other people.
I've had the lurgy this week, and I've only done things where I had made a commitment and couldn't be replaced.
Hope you feel better soon.

That’s a normal schedule for me, but I love being busy and having a lot on. That being said, if I was unwell I would cancel until I was better / only do the essential things. Hope you feel better soon OP

I have a get together tomorrow for one of my hobby groups. One of our members has flip-flopped about coming because she has a very heavy cold. In the end she has decided not to. The leader thanked her for letting us know and also for not giving her cold to the rest of us ( all women ) just before Christmas . Just use your illness to get rid of things that are too much. People will be sorry you are ill but greatly relieved that your germs are not attending the event. We've all got Christmasses to organise. We don't want to be ill. If someone turns up and finds they were infectious later, that's just life. If someone knows very well that they are ill they need to stay away.

I was ready to say yanbu - especially if you are feeling rough.

But then I got to your Monday night onwards and saw:

No Christmas catering! No supermarket food slots or shopping! No lists of who is going to eat what when and how can I feed 12 people either side of the big day when I also have to provide the day itself. Plus all the nibbles and extras and booze and beds and changing sheets and cleaning bathrooms.., No hosting?

So I revised my verdict to...YABU!

I deliberately decided to plan less this year.
its easy to arrange so much, get tired, then fall ill for the whole holiday.
This year feels nicer..Instead I’m seeing local friends for a few low key meet ups. Fewer nights out. One carol service and a film.

I think your problems are front-loaded - way too much this week. Christmas week looks fine but you'll be feeling overloaded because this week is so bad.

I'd do...

• Wednesday I have work secret santa and a playdate and then supposed to go to cinema for xmas movie with my partner - get a box of perfectly pleasant supermarket chocolates for the secret santa and tape a scratchcard to the front, 5 mins in Tesco Metro and done, cancel the playdate, make the xmas movie into netflix and a takeaway at home
• Thursday i have my book group secret santa - cancel this, if the secret santa is supposed to be a book then say you'll give it to them in the new year. Regift something
• Friday I'm helping on the door for my friend's xmas concert and finishing xmas shopping. cancel the helping, outsource the xmas shopping (can your dd help?)
• Saturday I've to take my dd to cinema with her friend, then to a birthday party, then help out at my mum's xmas fayre, then meeting friends for our annual xmas lunch - this is WAY too much. Can dd make her own way or can anyone else take her to the party? Cancel your mum if poss. Or drop something off on the way to see your friends. Or just have a day off and reschedule the friends for new year.
• Sunday I've to meet my aunt and partner for lunch as won't see her over xmas This is OK I think if you've rescheduled the above

• Monday night booked in hotel Any reason?

From this point on, I think it's all fine and quite pleasant

• Tuesday xmas eve cleaning wrapping presents etc
• xmas day at restaurant then sisters
• 26th a in laws
• 27th day off
• 28th concert in town
• 29th carnival with in laws kids
• 30th nothing
• 31st panto and meal

Cancel the next few days because if you're ill, you're ill and no one else wants your cold for Christmas.

After that, prioritise you and your kids.

And next year, don't leave any gift shopping or wrapping until the last minute.

British women. I live in Spain and I can honestly tell you that the run up to Xmas is nothing like that here.

Way too much. I feel exhausted reading it. You will make yourself and everyone around you very ill. Stop and take a break, your body is letting you know enough is enough.

Yep - l have got something on every day now until New Years day - trouble is l booked it all seperately then suddenly..boom, no free time left

It's a lot but not for over Christmas if you are well. To me, being very busy over Christmas is worth it to enjoy seeing people and doing things that you can't do at other times of year. I would be looking at cancelling a couple of days in advance if you feel too unwell, or thing you'll be too infectious to do them. If it's just a heavy cold, you might need to cancel the things for the next 2-3-4 days, but you should be ok by then. Obviously it's better to give people warning that you are not doing the things if you can, but I don't think anyone would think it was flaky not to cancel things a week down the line just because of a cold.

A message from a fellow over committer….

To me your planned schedule sounds wonderful and my days and weeks can be like this BUT there does come a point where you need to rest and if you’ve been doing this level of activity for weeks then you need to stop and reduce your commitments.

Wednesday and Thursday can be cancelled and a £10 Amazon voucher emailed in. Call in sick to work.

Friday - send your apologies, you can no longer help and buy any last minute shopping online from your bed!

this may take off the pressure and you may feel well after that and able to do the rest.

on Tuesday do you really need to clean? If you must, get DP to wrap or vice versa but don’t do both. You need to carve out more down time. Like on panto day, do you need to do the meal as well? Or could you just enjoy the panto and go home and eat the copious amount of food you are bound to have in?

my New Year’s resolution is to be more mindful of what I commit to, and try to build in more down time

It’s a bit busy, but not abnormally so and your symptoms will probably disappear in 3 days. I’d stay away from people until then though

I'd cancel with anything you are uncomfortable with and take your list down a bit. Your mental health comes first. If you really can't, don't do it

This schedule looks like my idea of hell, even if I was in the best of health. 😂

That is way too much for me even without being ill. I’d be up for one cinema trip, one lunch, one instance of helping someone out and one session of shopping. I need my time at home.

I would postpone the stuff that isn't pre booked tickets