ExH allowed 13 year old to babysit Step Siblings

[RobertGrayson]

DD turned 13 in September and typically sees her Dad every other weekend. Sometimes he can be away with work for weeks at a time with work (not his fault ofc), this year in particular there has been two separate occasions where he has not seen her for 6 weeks.

He will collect her Friday from school and return her home on Sunday afternoon.

During our catch up after she was dropped home on Sunday, she let me know that she babysat her two step siblings, 2 and 5, on Saturday night whilst her Dad and his Wife went to the pub and cinema. DD has explained that the Cinema is approx. 20 minutes away, they left at 7:30pm and returned at 12:30am.

AIBU to think that:

1. She is not old enough to be responsible for a toddler/young child.
2. Considering he sees her 15% of the time (at best) that they could have spent some time with her instead and not left her alone for a date night.

As an aside, she was paid £10, which I think is also a piss take.

I've spoken with ExH to say that I am unhappy, he didn't put up much of a fight so I doubt it'll ever happen again, but it's really playing on my mind still. Am I being oversensitive?

By*

This is awful! I wouldn’t leave a 13 year old home alone until the early hours, let alone a 13 year old PLUS babies. How utterly irresponsible. And that’s before we even get to the fact it was HER contact time with her DF. He prioritized everyone else’s needs above hers and used her as cheap labour. Not the actions of a loving, decent father. He should have sat and watched Strictly with her on Saturday night! Fun, cheap, easy and they could have had a nice time together. The token £10 is simply insulting 🤮

I started babysitting at 13, for a baby and 2 year old. Personally I think those children were a bit young to be left with me, but I was a responsible child and had my parents just up the road (pre mobile phones) in case I needed anything. She had a phone, her dad wasn’t that far away, and she knew the children well.

is there a reason why you think she wouldn’t have been responsible enough?

Nope that's an absolute piss take what is a 13 year old going to do in an emergency?!
There is one thing for maybe an hour with a parent nearby a different kettle of fish of 5 hours which includes being in the cinema (uncontactable) and the pub

The NSPCC think everyone is a child abuser and their guidance doesn't have the force of law, and wouldn't necessarily even be considered by the courts. I'd take xero notice of them.

Babysitting courses run from 14 and I had babysitters who were 13 (when my son was about 7ish).

However, it's not very nice to have your dd to stay and then go off to the pub and make her babysit. And I think 2 and 5 is too young, especially the 2 year old.

Her age is ok, theirs isn't. And he should want to spend time with his dd. If he only sees her every other week (barring work) then he has every other weekend to go out.

And I agree the £10 is taking the mick.

Obviously. I went nuclear. They are now old enough to realise how utterly messed up it was. Alongside multiple other outrageous, selfish, unsafe crap.

Totally agree

So I suppose my next question is, where do we go from here?

Historically his wife, although I barely know her, seemed like a responsible person. She’s a teacher and from what DD has said is very much all about her kids. But now I feel that I can’t trust either of their judgement for what’s reasonable.

I spoke to him yesterday to first fact check the info in the event that DD had exaggerated (she hadn’t) and made it abundantly clear that she’s not there to babysit. I didn’t mention the tenner, I wish I had now.

Neither would l. And l am not a fussy parwnt but this is way too much - half past midnight? Disgusting - whar a shit dad.