Drinking at 6year olds party

[Lindylou1980]

My daughter in law was seen secretly drinking at our grandaughters 6th birthday party. Her and her partner had hip flasks at a ball pit.
they have had a lot of difficulties this year but I don’t think this is acceptable.
should I say something?

My daughter in law was seen secretly drinking at our grandaughters 6th birthday party. Her and her partner had hip flasks at a ball pit.
they have had a lot of difficulties this year but I don’t think this is acceptable.
should I say something?

Is her partner your child?
Who do you plan on saying something to?

Sounds like there is quite a lot more to this.

Your daughter in law and her partner? Is her partner not your child?

No sorry not daughter in law. 🤦‍♀️ my step daughter.

Instead of drip feeding later on, why don’t you give more detail now, so you can get a balanced response.

I’m not meaning to drip feed I’m simply asking if it would be appropriate for me to voice concerns to my step daughter about her need to be secretly drinking at a kids party? I have a good relationship with her but I feel she would not appreciate me voicing these concerns. So I’m unsure if I am just being over cautious

Lots of alcohol at the kids parties I go to 😂. Also have thrown a couple with alcohol myself.

Not sure what you are thinking of getting out of a conversation with her? Is your issue that you find it "unacceptable" as you say, or that you have concerns for your step daughter's wellbeing?

I would openly drink at any party. If I was hosting a kids party then I'd be providing booze for the adults. As long as they didn't get utterly sloshed and endanger the kids then I wouldn't be bothered.

I am completely confused
Step daughter or daughter in law

Context is everything. Having a drink at a kids party isn't always a problem, and they don't seem to have tried to hard to hide it. Is there some deeper issue you are worried about?

That's not the same as concealing it in s hip flask though is it
Which I assume is what's worrying the Op .

I have concerns for her well-being tbh. I appreciate it comes across as abit ott but surely hip flasks at a ball pit is abit much?

so your child is the partner of the drinking woman?
your grandchild is the child of the drinking woman?
what else do you know about her drinking habits?
do you plan on talking to your child and the partner?

hip flask in a ball pit - its not really acceptable on any level even if the children have no clue what the flask is or contains. People eventually do notice and will be concerned for welfare in the house.

i suppose a single glass of fizz drank at a table and amongst adult company at the party would be more in context and appropriate at a young child's party. i did this when we had a gathering at our house for our 1 year old.

Is she the parent of the child? Or an aunt?

Did she think there would maybe be alcohol there so brought some as well? I have been to children's parties where there's been alcohol, although never at a soft play. But if she's an aunt who was strong armed into going to a children's party at a soft play, that might drive me to drink as well (and I don't drink).

Have there been other situations that have made you concerned about her drinking?

think id need alcohol to survive a 6year olds party

But they were not openly drinking though
Kids parties can be tedious and I would have a drink too if it was on offer but I think the Op is worried because they attempted to conceal it?

Is it possibly just not her sort of thing and a few drinks would take the edge off. I’ve been to many a kids party and I’d of loved a hip flask tbh. I don’t because I’m a responsible adult who is driving. I actually don’t drink much atall, don’t think I’ve had one this year, was at the kids Christmas party at the weekend and definitely could of done with a drink.

She has mental health problems and there are issues anyway about the living conditions and her partner’s aggression when drinking so it just seemed like a red flag.

Then it seems like there's wider issues that it might be worth you and her dad bringing up with her, but not focusing on any one event that can be brushed off.

Sneaking alcohol into a ball pit, isn’t on.

Agreed, also they are drinking at a play centre not at a family do, when it might be more acceptable.

I wouldn't approach them, however it would speak to others in the family quiet to air your concerns.

Drip
drip
drip

@Lindylou1980 I don't have an issue with adults drinking at a kids party - moderately - but I totally agree I'd be worried about the quite odd behaviour of drinking from hip flasks at a soft play.

Something is clearly not right - I'm sure you're right on that. It's a funny one as it's more that it's extremely strange social behaviour than anything else.

Helpful. If people actually find something’s difficult to talk about.