To think they will take my children off me.

[Outandabout43]

Had a call last week from SS. DSS who has additional needs has made a report at school in regards to physical abuse from DH.

We know exactly the incident he is referring to and the story has been told not including the whole truth and also exaggerated.

DH has spoken to DSS school and they have stated they know DSS can often twist the truth as to not get himself in trouble, however they have to follow safe guarding procedure.

So this leaves us with a visit from SS this week. I feel sick. I know they are only following procedures and it's a good thing that the allegation has been taken seriously but you hear all these horror stories that SS lie and are child snatchers.

Neither me nor DH have ever been physical to the children, we tell them off if naughty and shout if they are in danger. They attend school, well fed, appropriately dressed, just an average family.

DSD lives mainly with Mum and sees us on weekends and holidays, I'm so scared they will say we can no longer see him, or remove DD into care (DD lives with us fully)

Anyone else been through this??

Quoting and responding to a comment = replying to a comment on MN. So, she responded to my initial comment, tagging me, thus starting our exchange.

Thus far, 23 people have thanked me for said initial comment, and 17 have thanked me for my next one. So, if we’re looking at what ‘other people’ think of things, I’m pretty comfortable that I’m ahead.

HTH. 😁 😎

They don't have enough resources to protect kids that are actually being abused so I imagine your situation will be top of their priorities.

I was not a happy or emotionally stable child and I lashed out - but usually in the wrong direction. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know what that would be or how to get it. I know now that I didn’t send my ‘lashes’ in the right direction because that was just too scary to face.

you hear all these horror stories that SS lie and are child snatchers

I know it's an upsetting situation but try not to get carried away and keep common sense in play. They're doing their job, which isn't easy, and they could be helpful.

Ss works with families...they want the children to stay with their parents but want their safe. They only remove children at a last resort. You just work with them and you nothing to worry about.

The bickering and point-scoring on this thread is pathetic. (ETA: and more importantly, it undermines the readability of a thread on a serious issue)

OP, kindly, you need to stop reading stuff that is deliberately designed to wind you up. The best thing you can possibly do for a good outcome is be totally honest and straightforward with SS.

I doubt they're going to be interested that much in the way you think OP. But this is an opportunity to get the bairn some outside support. He's obviously not feeling in control of his life and maybe he doesn't feel safe or has unmet needs. Maybe this will be a life raft to some external help.

A lot of the times that you hear of SS taking children and the parents crying about how they stole their kids from a loving home you have to realize that we only will ever get the parents side due to legal issues. There was a case that happened near me where the mother was lamenting on Facebook about the evil SS taking her kids. Turns out that she abandoned them for almost a week with a thirteen year old watching them. She left little food. She was later arrested and jailed.

Yes, my ss got my husband arrested for common assault years ago but the cps didn't persue it as a bruise expert was able to tell he was lying about when the bruise was caused (also he had told me the bruise was from a school fight). We didn't lose our 1 year old son

Social workers don't take kids btw. They aren't that powerful.

OP, I am sorry that you are going through this. Children's Social Care almost certainly just want to find out what happened and to make sure that your DC is getting all the support they need. When they come, take it as an opportunity to ask for more support or guidance if this is something either you or your partner may need e.g with respect to handling meltdowns, keeping your DC safe when they are upset and so on.

We had a similar situation when our DC were young. A social worker from the disability team came with another social worker, and the visit helped us to access more support for our sons (both of whom have additional needs).

The Family Rights Group also have a forum and a helpline which is really helpful if you need advice about social services.

However when you then start reading the stories of SS lying and exaggerating and taking children of their parents it makes me feel sick.

the vast majority of people who say this stuff are not being honest themselves. Ask yourself this: Why would a social worker want to lie in order to remove a child (which would also involve perjuring themselves in court)? The last thing a SW/Local Authority wants is for a child to come into the care system, it’s incredibly expensive for the LA and there’s a massive shortage of foster homes.

Awww mate. It's cute you post 'for the likes'. Bet your Facebook page is a real gem 🤣

There's an expansive system to go through before dc are taken into care. The bar is quite high, even if there was a feeling something inappropriate had happened there would be lots of support to change and improve before this step was looked at.

Also, social services has no legal owner to remove children, police can put dc in police protection if there's an immediate risk, otherwise a judge has to be involved.

I think it's understandable you are worried, but I don't think you have to be. Just be open about what happened.

Mate, you’re the one who brought up ‘other people’. I’m just over here replying to your nonsense. 🤣

Id take the full compliance route and say that due to the allegation, your husband will only now see DS in a public place so that there is no room for misinterpretation. Alternatively SS can set up supervised contact.