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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

12 month old fell whilst trying to hold her walker

31 replies

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:23

Hi,

My DD 12 month was playing on the floor in the living room. I turned around for two seconds to put her dummy on the table and in that time she tried to stand up against the walker and fell on the side of her face.

She was crying but after a cuddle she was fine. She's fine in herself (apart from the cold and flu virus and teething going around) but no new symptoms.

Her face is a little red near her eye and check and I'm so worried that when she goes to nursery tomorrow they'll contact social services. I feel awful

OP posts:

HPandthelastwish · 15/12/2024 16:27

Why would you be panicking over that? Do you already have SS involvement? They might note the injury as a notice of concern on safeguarding software but the injury fits the explanation and unless their are other issues it'll be a non-issue.

Original poster

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:29

@HPandthelastwish because I do admin for social services and we always get referrals from nurseries and schools but it was genuinely a mistake where I put her dummy down and withi two seconds she fell.

I do tend to worry about her health a lot (postpartum anxiety and I'm taking medication for it) but I just feel awful that people might think I've been neglectful

OP posts:

justanotherlaura · 15/12/2024 16:32

Look forward to many, many more of these as she's learning to walk (I'm being sarcastic, it's awful) my 2 year old has just started running and I have my heart in my mouth every time we're at the park! She'll get loads of bumps and bruises, nursery will be very aware of the trials of learning to walk, try not to worry too much or you'll give her a complex! The joys of parenting :)

HPandthelastwish · 15/12/2024 16:33

It's not neglectful though, if she's mobile now or soon she's going to get into all sorts of scrapes. As long as the explanation fits the injury and it's occasional it's a non issue. If a non mobile baby comes in with a facial bruise that's more of an issue.

Just drop her off tomorrow and say what happens, if they need to tell SS due to their Safeguarding policy then so be it and you just explain to them when they ring and they'll close the case.

Original poster

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:42

@HPandthelastwish thank you.

I'm due to go down south to see my family on Tuesday until the New Year, so I'm worried that if they'll want to come over I won't be home

Hopefully it'll be fine as the HV saw DD on Thursday and commented on how amazing of a job I'm doing and how DD is quite happy and we have an amazing bond (I shared with her that I have health anxiety in relation to DD).

OP posts:

Original poster

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:43

@justanotherlaura oh dear. I guess I need to brace myself for more of what's to come.

The logical side of me knows that it'll all be fine but the niggling little anxious voice in my head wins 😢.

OP posts:

Nejnej · 15/12/2024 16:46

It's always hard with that anxious voice. Injuries like that are only more worrying when babies aren't moving yet. We sent my son for his first day of nursery with a deep cut by his eyebrow after he faceplanted the edge of our bed - felt awful!

Didimum · 15/12/2024 16:47

With a 12m old, OP, you have a whole host of falls and bumps and injuries to come. My twins are 6 and one of them has been to hospital for injury at least 7-8 times since that age. I would focus your energy on dealing with this unnecessary anxiety.

CurbsideProphet · 15/12/2024 16:47

Unless there is a major backstory here I can't fathom why the nursery would call social services about a 1 year old having bruise, especially when they are attempting to stand / walk and will obviously fall over. You just need to let them know when you drop off that she is trying to stand and this weekend has had a bump.

I appreciate it must be really difficult having health anxiety. I worry about my 2 year old all the time, but they will trip over themselves a lot!

Endofyear · 15/12/2024 16:53

All babies fall and bang themselves on furniture etc, especially when crawling, starting to walk and pulling themselves up on things. Please don't worry, nursery will be very used to seeing bumps and bruises! Just let them know at drop off. It's very unlikely they'll think anything of it.

Original poster

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:54

@CurbsideProphet no back story. I just have awful anxiety postpartum. The HV asked if I had intrusive thoughts and I said I do. I have thoughts that I'll drop DD whilst carrying her or that I'll get told that she has cancer or that if I don't deep clean the kitchen after cooking chicken she'll get food poisoning. So I think this is a part of that.

I also told the HV that my mum was neglectful growing up and didn't really seem to care much. It's not that she never cared but she was quite unpredictable and I want to make sure I always show DD that I care. HV said that my past with my mum could also be fuelling my anxious thoughts.

HV said a lot of women go through the above and that the medication my GP prescribed might help. She said she'll check in with me in the new year and that I was doing an amazing job.

I've started Sertraline to try and help with the above but it's not done anything just yet.

OP posts:

HPandthelastwish · 15/12/2024 17:01

SS won't be interested in visiting in person for this, they may check in on the phone as they might do if you had had an A&E visit but tha isn't anything to worry about and is just procedure.

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/12/2024 17:17

Relax

Far worse will happen yet

Wait till they start running around

Then when they fall over there will be bumps blood and all sorts

hoarahloux · 15/12/2024 17:24

Nursery will probably ask what happened, so mention it to them when you take her. They might do a pre-existing injury form. We do those so that we have proof an injury didn't happen at nursery. (and to keep an eye on potential patterns of injury, obviously not relevant to you).

CurbsideProphet · 15/12/2024 17:25

@user11290 your HV sounds very helpful and sensible! I'm really sorry you're having these intrusive thoughts. I think becoming a mother can really trigger memories of our own childhoods. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to help yourself.

SqueegieBeckenheimer · 15/12/2024 18:29

Oh bless you.
With regard to nursery, the most important thing is to tell them exactly what's happened. They should fill in an existing injury form, they need that in case nobody has passed on the information and they think she's had a bump at nursery. Little ones, especially when they're just starting to become mobile, will have many bumps and bruises and the trained and experienced nursery staff will know that.

And don't beat yourself up, you've done nothing wrong.

Original poster

user11290 · 15/12/2024 20:37

Thank you everyone.

Going to try and brace myself for what's to come!

OP posts:

Pinkpurpletulips · 15/12/2024 20:55

Mine had a fair few hospital visits. One of them built up a small collection of these knitted toys that the ambulance paramedics had to give children at the time. I always wondered if the doctors would say anything about all the bruises on their legs from some scrape or other like climbing trees and adventure playgrounds. Nobody ever said a word while they were being stitched up or being plastered. The eldest is close to qualifying as a doctor so who knows if he was inspired as a child by those hospital visits.

Ozgirl75 · 15/12/2024 21:15

I remember when my oldest was about 18 months taking him for vaccinations and the Dr saying “oh dear, how did he get that bruise?” and just having to say “I’m sorry I have no idea, he runs everywhere and gets a new one every day” and her just saying “it’s fine, it’s a normal bruise that they get from being a menace to themselves!”
I think Drs/nursery are very aware of how kids injure themselves when they’re learning to walk.

Eenameenadeeka · 15/12/2024 21:17

It's such a stressful age, where they are becoming mobile but not quite stable and unfortunately they do bump themselves a bit. I understand your anxiety, I worry about mine too when they hurt themselves. It wasn't your fault and no one will think you have hurt your baby.

Nc546888 · 15/12/2024 21:20

Ah man OP it has to be a lot worse than that.

tbh my son is very very active and has had a ton of accidents. He fell down half the stairs at 2 years old and I was right next to him. His head split open and I took him to A&E both of us in our dressing gowns!! They did a bunch of safeguarding checks and luckily my son was a great talker so told them the exact truth of what happened. I was checked out by many docs and my story. SS did call to say they had the report but understood toddlers have accidents and they were always there if I needed them

Wallywobbles · 15/12/2024 21:24

Most new bruises DD1 got in one day was 12 I think.

InfoSecInTheCity · 15/12/2024 21:24

Nursery will know very well that toddlers fall over.

When you drop her in just say 'you'll need to be on the watch out, she's pulling herself up on anything and everything and we've had a few tumbles already'

Unless they have other reasons to suspect your parenting this will be a completely and totally normal event for them with no reason to be concerned at all.

I remember picking DD up from nursery and she had a massive bump on her forehead from where she'd done almost exactly the same thing as your DD, tripping over her own feet trying to use the walker.

niadainud · 15/12/2024 21:30

user11290 · 15/12/2024 16:42

@HPandthelastwish thank you.

I'm due to go down south to see my family on Tuesday until the New Year, so I'm worried that if they'll want to come over I won't be home

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Did she fall on carpet? If so the mark might not even be visible by tomorrow.

That said, I do think it's utterly ridiculous of the midwife to be dropping words like "amazing" all over the place like she's giving out gold medals for Olympic-level mothering.

niadainud · 15/12/2024 21:34

niadainud · 15/12/2024 21:30

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Did she fall on carpet? If so the mark might not even be visible by tomorrow.

That said, I do think it's utterly ridiculous of the midwife to be dropping words like "amazing" all over the place like she's giving out gold medals for Olympic-level mothering.

Show quote history

To clarify - I'm sure you are doing a great job, I just think it's unhelpful to women to make mothering sound like a competition.

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