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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are some dog owners a bit deluded about their dogs?

113 replies

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 11:54

Just putting it out there- my mum has dogs, but with a sensible attitude I think- the dog stays downstairs at nights, as a puppy he is being trained, he is treated well but not not like a human being.
Some dog owners though seem to justify their dog's behaviour out of some ill advised need to defend them at all times, even in the face of reality. A previous poster on here had a dog who was biting visitors, but justified it because he was a rescue dog and they were warning bites and hadn't broken the skin. I had to take a detour running on a woodland path yesterday because an aggressive barking dog was stood in my path and the owner just thought they'd tell them off without thinking of putting them on a lead/restraining them. This week at the vet a dog owner with two large dogs leaping up at my nervous cat's cat carrier said that it was OK because they knew cats at home and were fine with them (whilst leaping up at my...).
Are there dog owners and then dog owners?

OP posts:
ILikeItWhatIsIt · 15/12/2024 20:21

Aberentian · 15/12/2024 17:04

Why can there never be a conversation about dog behaviour without it turning on parents?

Dunno. Maybe because there's so many parents whose kids are feral.

ChocolateAddictAlways · 16/12/2024 18:43

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 15/12/2024 18:30

I think when most people had mongrels (which seemed to be the norm when I was young), they were treated as pets and not beings with deep feelings and a love of interaction with strangers. They were trained to keep themselves to themselves and the owners expected they'd be left out of social situations. It's since dogs became an expensive investment with the advent of named mongrel breeds etc that they've been promoted beyond pet status.

We had visitors last week who brought their dogs without warning and told us they couldn't stay in our (secure) garden or the car with a window cracked - they made out we were being cruel to even think it. We've never had dogs so we didn't know what to suggest. They asked us how we knew our cats would be frightened of the dogs 🤔. Anyway, the dogs ended up coming in the house (one room only) and the cats got shut away. It made me uncomfortable and I couldn't wait for them all to piss off - the whole visit got taken over by the damned slobbering dogs and their needs. And I had extra work to do cleaning up once they'd gone.

Dogs bother me far more often than children do. I've never known anyone to want their child to approach or touch me, and no child has ever made me feel frightened that they're going to hurt me.

My goodness that’s awful but a very good example of how entitled some dog owners are.

Resilienceisimportant · 16/12/2024 18:47

SuperfluousHen · 15/12/2024 13:37

2 seconds in and already the posts talking about children as if they have somehow some equivalence with pet dogs.
It must be the furbabies syndrome 🤦‍♀️

Could not agree more.

Resilienceisimportant · 16/12/2024 18:50

Tara336 · 15/12/2024 16:37

I don't think people should dictate how and where your dog lives in your own home as long as its needs are met/it's well cared for. My dog sleeps next to me, is allowed on the sofa and I do take him out to dog friendly places with me if it's suitable.

I don't think it's fair to name and blame "doodle" owners either. My dog was taken to regular training classes and there were many other doodle owners there (as well as pedigree).

I have come across some really idiotic dog owners who will let their dogs jump all over you, chase your dog and harrass it and just have an awful lack of etiquette.

One in particular is an elderly lady with three dogs (jack Russell's and Yorkies) who is involved with dog rescue and the kennel club, her dogs are untrained, out of control and apparently are only being friendly when they have jumped all over me covering me in mud and hassling my on lead dog.

This particular lady has taken the time to tell me that my dog is not a breed (never said he was) is unhealthy (he's not) and that i will probably get rid of him when the next "fad" dog comes along.

I take great pleasure in having my beautifully trained dog walk to heel, off lead and listening intently to me walk past her in the park as she stands there screaming at her dogs as they run rampage.

I agree - perfectly happy for any dog to be treated however their owner wants (positively of course):

However (and yes I am a dog owner myself and grew up with dogs), I would say in my personal experience if I saw 100 dogs over the course of some months on a walk only about 3 would have good recall.

i am so sick and tired of “he only wants to play”, “he’s really friendly” and “he just wants to sniff your dog”. Unless your dog has perfect recall and is around other dogs or sharing a space with others put it in a lead.

TorroFerney · 16/12/2024 19:18

MissyB1 · 15/12/2024 13:43

It's the same principle though! Parents who think their little Angel can do no wrong, dog owner who thinks their dog can do no wrong - same same!

This is why my mum has a badly behaved dog. When she screamed at me as a child, I was terrified and never behaved badly as I was just scared. Her current dog doesn't care that she screams at it as it doesn't understand and probably sees it as my mum barking. So consequently it's terribly behaved but not because of her inadequacies oh no, because it's just not possible to train it not to jump up and it's only me it jumps up at - neither of these things are true.

needsomewarmsunshine · 16/12/2024 19:33

On the Isle of Wight there are more dogs than young kids or so it seems. Typical do walkers have at least two dogs, and a lot are obviously babied and mollycoddled, judging by the owners behaviour.
A terrier dog approached me the other day, wet and very muddy. I was within a limited space and was annoyed by the approach and told it to leave me alone.
"He's friendly and wants to say hello." beamed the stupid owner as he tried to jump up at me with filthy paws and coat.
The red mist descended quickly and I yelled "Well, I'm not friendly so take your bloody dog and fuck off!"
"Why are you so rude?"
"Because I don't like badly behaved dogs that the stupid owners haven't trained now fuck off."
Off she flounced.

Tara336 · 17/12/2024 07:05

@Resilienceisimportant I get so wound up with other dog owners out of control dogs. My dog is a very small crossbreed i have put huge amount of effort into training and socialising. All that effort has at times felt pointless as my dog has been jumped all over, chased and generally terrorised by the "he just wants to play" "he's friendly" idiots. I was at one point worried that my previously happy confident dog was becoming snappy because he wanted to get in first before being bullied luckily I've managed to nip that in the bud. But he does now run to me for protection when he's scared by another dog and I do now pick him up to offer him some security. I shouldn't have too but unfortunately as much as I've tried i can't reason with the idiots.

I have even experienced another dog owner stand and watch as their labrador started harassing us on a walk. Watched as it chased my small dog in circles and then continued to do nothing as I picked my dog up and the labrador was jumping up at me putting its paws on my shoulders and was still trying to get at my dog. But as per usual it was being "friendly" and apparently "is useless and doesn't listen"

These are the people that give the rest of us a bad name

Resilienceisimportant · 17/12/2024 07:45

Tara336 · 17/12/2024 07:05

@Resilienceisimportant I get so wound up with other dog owners out of control dogs. My dog is a very small crossbreed i have put huge amount of effort into training and socialising. All that effort has at times felt pointless as my dog has been jumped all over, chased and generally terrorised by the "he just wants to play" "he's friendly" idiots. I was at one point worried that my previously happy confident dog was becoming snappy because he wanted to get in first before being bullied luckily I've managed to nip that in the bud. But he does now run to me for protection when he's scared by another dog and I do now pick him up to offer him some security. I shouldn't have too but unfortunately as much as I've tried i can't reason with the idiots.

I have even experienced another dog owner stand and watch as their labrador started harassing us on a walk. Watched as it chased my small dog in circles and then continued to do nothing as I picked my dog up and the labrador was jumping up at me putting its paws on my shoulders and was still trying to get at my dog. But as per usual it was being "friendly" and apparently "is useless and doesn't listen"

These are the people that give the rest of us a bad name

Could not agree more. I have had that happen numerous times. Or the complete entanglement of my dog as he is on a leash and the other dog is chasing him around me.

Most dogs don’t have great recall. And most people don’t want your dog near them.

daffodilandtulip · 17/12/2024 08:03

needsomewarmsunshine · 16/12/2024 19:33

On the Isle of Wight there are more dogs than young kids or so it seems. Typical do walkers have at least two dogs, and a lot are obviously babied and mollycoddled, judging by the owners behaviour.
A terrier dog approached me the other day, wet and very muddy. I was within a limited space and was annoyed by the approach and told it to leave me alone.
"He's friendly and wants to say hello." beamed the stupid owner as he tried to jump up at me with filthy paws and coat.
The red mist descended quickly and I yelled "Well, I'm not friendly so take your bloody dog and fuck off!"
"Why are you so rude?"
"Because I don't like badly behaved dogs that the stupid owners haven't trained now fuck off."
Off she flounced.

Yes this. I've heard "he's friendly" so many times now that it instantly makes my blood boil. I don't care how friendly it is, control it and get it away from my child!

Leonberger · 17/12/2024 08:06

I have giant dogs.

On almost every walk they are growled at, barked at, ran at, jumped at. The dog almost always has ‘never done that before’ or it’s my dogs fault for being unusual.

When I worked with dogs I would say at least 50% of owners can not handle their dogs and have not trained them, or worse are scared of them.

Ownership needs a huge overhaul!

Maverickess · 17/12/2024 09:01

I have two, they have the run of the flat (and before anyone starts it's first floor, I have my own entrance and a garden and it's not tiny, a very large property split into two effectively) and they sleep on my bed.
But I've put, and continue to put, time & effort in with training. Training is lifelong and ongoing and should be with any dog, you don't just teach them to sit as a puppy and that's it, and you adapt your training and management to the dog.

One is going deaf in her old age, so her previous great recall is unreliable now, because she can't always hear me, so she stays on a lead. The other is only let off in certain places because her recall is also unreliable at times.

They don't bother other people or dogs because they're my dogs and my responsibility. Because they're trained they know their boundaries and because I interact with them they don't get over stimulated by the sight of another dog or person and lose their minds when they see one. I work their brains, as well as exercise their bodies, we don't go for endless walks where they're left to their own devices while I daydream my way around, which results in a very fit - but bored dog.

Consequently they're not really interested in other dogs or people around because they're not a big deal to them. The issue I have is with one who has been bred to chase small furries, including cats. My choice to have that dog, my responsibility to manage it, which is why she's only off the lead in certain places.

As I know she'll bark at a cat with frustration, vet visits are sitting in the car until called if there are cats inside, because a) if you can't train out of a situation then you manage it and b) it does my head in as well!. I will likely never fully train that instinct out, however it is my responsibility to manage that and ensure she doesn't cause any problems, and a vets waiting room isn't the place to train that.

We are regularly approached by over excited, aggressive or dominant dogs, who don't understand or heed social cues from other dogs. They ignore them until they can't, they won't tolerate being pushed around or leapt on, no matter how 'friendly' the owner screeches they are being, most of the time they're not and the owner has zero clue what their own dogs body language means, wagging tail to them means happy playful dog and that's about as far as they go, when what is actually happening is an over stimulated dog not heeding subtle correction of it's behaviour, or an aggressive/dominant dog going in all guns blazing. Both can result in a fight. So I am now proactive and if the owner won't control their dog, then I'll stay between mine and theirs and I will give it directions to stay away.
That seems to really upset some people, especially men, but I don't care. Control your dog and stop expecting other people and other dogs to entertain it for you.

MustWeDoThis · 08/06/2025 01:27

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 11:54

Just putting it out there- my mum has dogs, but with a sensible attitude I think- the dog stays downstairs at nights, as a puppy he is being trained, he is treated well but not not like a human being.
Some dog owners though seem to justify their dog's behaviour out of some ill advised need to defend them at all times, even in the face of reality. A previous poster on here had a dog who was biting visitors, but justified it because he was a rescue dog and they were warning bites and hadn't broken the skin. I had to take a detour running on a woodland path yesterday because an aggressive barking dog was stood in my path and the owner just thought they'd tell them off without thinking of putting them on a lead/restraining them. This week at the vet a dog owner with two large dogs leaping up at my nervous cat's cat carrier said that it was OK because they knew cats at home and were fine with them (whilst leaping up at my...).
Are there dog owners and then dog owners?

The warning bites, is a thing. If they dislike visitors to the home, they can become distressed and anxious by this. They should be trained not to do this and should be put on a leash to introduce to visitors, or allow them to sniff at their jackets, so they are accustomed to the smell.

Out in public - Put them on a lead, socialise them, teach them how to behave in public because anything else is just pure laziness and deluded to think it's OK!

imjustanerd · 08/06/2025 01:37

Yep, they definitely are

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