To encourage my children to eat vegetables at every meal?

[JollyPeachShark]

I grew up in an unhealthy household so I like my children (2, 6, 8 and 11) to eat fruit or vegetables with each meal. DH says it’s not worth the battle as DC (8) really doesn’t like them and not to worry. I worry about setting healthy habits. AIBU?

Maybe look at it over the week rather than daily
I don't mind veg but I live alone and unless someone puts it in front of me...
So I tend to cook with loads of veg in stuff like a stew I'll have carrots, mushrooms, celery, onions, anything I can put in it

You’re right, he’s wrong.

Don’t focus on the vegetables too much though, just keep on serving them meal after meal. Find different ways to cook them.

It depends on what you mean by 'encourage'.

Giving them access to a wide variety and feeding them the ones they like is great. Making them remain at the table until they've eaten every last bite when the dinner is cold is less so.

Experiment with how you serve things. DD prefers her salad not cut up and not mixed, so half a cucumber, a full tomato, large lettuce leaves, half a pepper she says they taste better and are more flavourful whole - and actually she isn't wrong although it doesn't look great on the plate.

Mangos, bananas, pears or any moist fruit are great whole but not cut up as they are slippery/slimy.

Grapes she'll eat frozen but not at room temperature.

Half the plate should be vegetables. This is aspirational in my house but I keep it mind and there are always vegetables served with hot food. I want my kids to think they are part of everyday meals. They don't have to eat them but if they want dessert then they have to have eaten at least some of them, or they can't possibly be hungry for yogurt.

I did this when mine were small. Salad and vegetables are now the food they are guaranteed to eat wherever we go. I’d hide it in bollognese, add salad to chips and pizza, they just saw it as a normal part of most meals.

They should all have some. They could be hidden in other things, like a pasta sauce or whatever. And it’s not the end of the world if it’s not every single meal ever. But vegetables are not an optional food group, whether they like them or not.

I’m not even sure I can think of a meal without veg! YANBU

You're 100% right. I'm not sure I can think of a meal I've made without 2 veg or a fruit for pudding.

I am rather OTT with healthy eating though as I have had an eating disorder and DH has terrible eating habits, due to his upbringing.

Two of my DCs have unhealthy diets, that dosnt mean I don’t try and get them to eat fruit and veg. I serve veg when I’m cooking, DH thinks it’s a waste if they won’t eat them and veg don’t compute when he’s cooking ( he’s not a big veg person anyway).

I’ve found over time they are happy to give new things a go especially if they aren’t forced into it.

My rule is try at least one thing. I don’t force veg I know they can’t stand, I will serve something I know they will nibble at.

Third child will eat nothing but veg, fruit and salad given the chance.

I couldn’t stand a lot of veg growing up but love most things now.

Keep on! He might not eat them, but the example you're setting is that it's normal to have lots of fruit and vegetables.

Also try tricking them into eating veg. Sauces and soup are good for this!

My 3 year old niece is coming to have dinner with us a lot recently and, following her parents' lead, we offer a lot of vegetables and fruit and enjoy eating them ourselves.

If she asks just for a plate of plain pasta/potatoes/bread then that's fine, but she'll see us eating the veg and she'll be interested and decide to have some herself. At the last meal this involved her asking for and trying some roasted squash for the first time, and enjoying carrots, turnip, peas and broccoli, after originally refusing everything on the table except for pasta.

I've never seen a child be so inquisitive about food and willing to try things, though she doesn't always like them of course. Onions are a big no-no at the moment. I wish I'd followed this approach with my own DD, now 22.

Just keep putting them on the plate, I have autistic sons and this is what I do. No pressure. They now will eat them.

Offer the healthy food and let the child decide whether to eat it.

There are ways to help them- give them veg as a snack, when they're hungry, or as a starter. Give it raw if they prefer, let them eat it in front of the TV , let them dip it in something. Ketchup, oil and vinegar etc.

To be honest I find the best way to get them eating healthy food is to not feed them junk. On days where they've had only fruit and veg as snacks they eat a lot better than on days when they've had sweets or chocolate, even if it was only a small amount. It's as though the sweet stuff interferes with their palate

You both are right in my view.

They do need to be presented with fruit and vegetables and encouraged to eat them.

He is right that a 'battle' is the absolute worst thing you can do if you want them to have a healthy relationship with food in the future.

It's interesting that you've put fruit and vegetables together as normally kids happily eat fruit as it's sweet and are more cautious about veg.

Our daughter bankrupts us with the amount of fruit she eats- It can be pricey this time of year but have you offered them a choice of fruits rather than just say apple, banana, orange?

Vegetables can be tricker and for our DC it's the texture rather than the taste she doesn't like- so it's blended into pasta sauces, mushrooms into stroganoff, chilli sauces, curries etc so she is still getting the nutrition and taste.

Every meal is then also always offered with a sweetcorn/ peas/ baked bean side as they are generally 'safe' options.

You can talk in a age appropriate way to each child about the nutrition our body needs.

Also offer a daily multivitamin to each.

We had zero tolerance to vegetables from our two even though we both love them and use several different types every day. I approach it two ways: I make big batches at a time of hidden vegetable/tomato sauce and freeze it ready to use several times a weeks. But I also put lots of them cooked fresh on the table every evening. One now only has two that he wont eat and the other is getting adventurous and trying new types all the time now.

Definitely offer, but don't force.
The one that's not too keen, they will probably gain more fondness for veg as they get older. Most little kids aren't crazy about salad.
As long as they have a bit, and you keep offering lots of interesting news things, without pressure. I think they'll be fine. It's more important not to give them tons of junk food, which I'm sure you don't.

YANBU. Dinner isn’t complete without veg! I wouldn’t made it a battle with DC as that will only cause further issues however I would certainly always put it on their plate.

Will your 8 year old eat any fruit/veg at all?

Depends what you mean by 'encourage' surely, and why he defined what you're doing as a battle? Obviously no-one's going to criticise you for things like always having fruit and vegetables available, particularly the kinds they like best, letting your kids see you eat and enjoy a variety, etc etc.

However I would say a lot of parents I know (quite understandably) get quite obsessed with their DC's diet, constantly cajoling and bribing and bargaining and telling them off, monitoring every single thing they do and don't eat, going wildly OTT with praise if they do consent to lick 1mm of carrot and so on. I don't really feel it repays the effort, I know because I've been that parent and I don't think any of it made a blind bit of difference. I don't buy into the whole 'you'll give your kids an eating disorder' business either (just another guilt trip, just what parents need), it's more I believe most kids prefer a bland beige diet when they're young, and most of them will grow into eating a reasonably good range of food when they're older, regardless of what you do and don't do to try and get them there. Now of course there are kids with SN that need particular strategies, and some kids that have always eaten absolutely everything anyway but most kids fall squarely into the average and if that means fish fingers and chips for tea a few more times than ideal I'm not going to sweat it...

I would say don't make mealtimes a battlefield but just serve up veg as part of their meal. Don't make a big deal of encouraging them to eat vegetables any more or less than any other food. Make pasta sauces and bolognese with hidden veg (carrots, leeks, broccoli) and blend it so they don't see it. Toss your veggies in a bit of butter and black pepper to make them tastier. Remember you're playing the long game here and they will eventually get used to a wide range of foods. Don't buy unhealthy snack food so that they're properly hungry at mealtimes.

I told my kids that they wouldn’t like (whatever veg was on offer) because it was a grown-up taste. Since all of mine were perverse little so-and-sos, their immediate reaction was to demand generous quantities of said veg to prove how grown up they were. Worked every time.

Absolutely agree with this. 4 fussy ones here. Hidden pureed vegetables in pasta sauces, chilli, spag bol, cottage pie, mexican wraps, even pizza toppings work a treat. Child friendly vegetables as a side work well (beans, peas, sweetcorn, cucumber) especially if presented with the less popular alongside so they can say "I am not eating that. but I will eat that". No forcing. "Good fruit" on a platter while they were waiting for their dinner to be plonked down worked with my four, they would end up snacking on it due to being hungry and it really doesn't matter which order they do it in. Unfortunately, there is a cost to this, both in time and money. But if you care, then you care, and you will do it. I found the following things could be hidden easily - carrots, onions, courgette, red or yellow peppers, celery (in small amounts) pulses / beans. I found that the following fruit was taken up - grapes esp if cut in half, no pips, tangerine segments, kiwi sliced, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, sometimes apple slices and banana. Finally, don't worry, their palates will change as they grow, and they will eventually eat better stuff. Good luck xx

Veg is mandatory in my house. That said I’ll always make sure there is stuff they like. One dc is fussy about roast veg so I’ll do raw carrot sticks for him type stuff. I think the trick is find a few favourite things they like and serve it regularly and add in an extra veg alongside to try. My kids really like kale which was a surprise hit.

I talk less about you need veg and more about how a colourful plate is a healthy plate. Also lead by example, let them see you serve yourself hearty portions of veg and salad.

I insist on fibre being a part of every meal. So I don't insist on fruit with porridge at breakfast because it's a high fibre food. If they're having doughy pizza as they did tonight, I insist on side salad with it. All our dinners are veg-heavy. Fibre is so important. Get your husband to watch "Secrets of your gut" on Netflix.

My advice to you is buy a food chopper. I have the ninja food chopper and it cost about £20 but it’s great as it can chop so finely that kids won’t recognise it.

I made tagliatelle pasta last week with onion, spinach, mushrooms, peas and asparagus. Bit of milk and butter and a splash of cream and my kids ate every scrap.

Served with a little side salad and that’s 8 different veg/salad in one meal.

They wouldn’t eat asparagus on its own and DD hates mushrooms - but she didn’t even know they were in the pasta dish and still scoffed the lot!

It’s vegetarian as well for those that don’t eat meat. We eat meat with most meals but is it’s nice for a change for it to be meat free and tasty