sitting in costa coffee

[IveGotToGoToMeDads]

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

Oh god, please don't start this debate. It's most controversial MN topic!

It may come across as nasty but most people really aren’t interested in other people’s conversations. That’s the point of ‘you’re not that interesting’. Everyone is interesting to their loved one and that’s why you meet up with them. However, to a stranger, you’re kinda boring. Even if I’m sat 3 feet from someone, I’m not eavesdropping because I’m far more interested in what the person I’m with has to say 🤷‍♀️

I don't go into busy cafes if I'm on my own. In the real world not many people in cafes are on their own. Most people go to cafes with friends or family.

I doubt you bought the table with your purchase. Just the use of a seat and a share of the table.

This thread makes me laugh what with all those on their phones on speaker having conversations in public. Also no one would eavesdropping. No more than someone on a different table could, anyway.

Are you gonna spend your evening going back and forth with multiple posters over your opinion? In real life, I’ll queue up whilst my friend gets our order. Why would we order food with nowhere to sit? Ridiculous

How do you know whether people are interested in other people's conversations?

I live in the real world and go to cafés on my own quite a lot. I don't think I'm particularly unusual.

I have never seen a sign like this

I don’t.

Me neither.

What absolute crap. There are a million reasons why people on their own might be in a cafe. It is a difficulty when seating is limited and it's a queue up situation. Even in table service places it can be awkward. I go to a really popular brunch type place every week on my own while I'm waiting for someone else to do a hobby. One time the only free table was a booth for six and I felt awful sitting there when others came in. Before my food arrived I managed to move to a much smaller table just across the way but I'd have happily shared (and have on occasion). A busy Costa is not the place for confidentiality of any kind, regardless of if you're sharing tables or not!

People might be saying yes because they don’t like confrontation, doesn’t mean they don’t mind. I said yes to a man sharing my table in a restaurant once, felt hugely uncomfortable but didn’t want to say no and risk him getting aggressive or making a scene. I didn’t enjoy the rest of my food and felt I had to speed up my eating and leave the second I was done. I think it’s really rude to ask, I have autism and don’t want to share a table but equally it’s not easy to say no, if all the tables are busy just wait, get your order to take away or go to another coffee shop. It’s not like sitting down for a coffee is an urgent scenario where somebody can’t share. It just seems so entitled to expect somebody else who is using a table to share for you and presumptuous to interrupt their coffee and force an interaction on them, if most people didn’t prefer not to eat with strangers and if it was expected people share then coffee shops would just have rows of shared tables canteen style. The fact that the lay out involves separate tables makes it obvious customers aren’t expected to share with strangers.

How do you know the couple were Chinese? And why should they give up their seats if they bought something and were still using the table?
The woman sounds rude, if I desperately didn't want to share I'd just say I was waiting for some people. If she only had one person with her then ideally she should share. But I wouldn't expect the highest manners in the world in Costa. Whenever I go in there it's a total mess, staff and clients not tidying up after themselves.

I've actually been refused service on my own in table service places (there were plenty of two seater tables available). One occasion was at 5.30pm on a Saturday and the restaurant was empty.

It’s my table, tough luck would have been my view. If you want to share a table go to Wagamama.

You try asking when one person's sat at a table for 4 with their lap top out and mobile phone plugged in the wall socket set up for the day.

They look at you like you've stumbled into their office.

Well done you 👏🏻
I wouldn't have the nerve.

It’s not your table, you bought the right to sit at it (on one chair) with your coffee.
I don’t know about Costa, but most cafes would take a dim view of potential customers leaving without buying anything because a single person is occupying a multi seat table and telling other people they can’t share.

HNRTWT. Only the first page. I posted a little bit of social history recently on a thread, to give perspective on something someone was annoyed about, and was told '<<<the 50s are that way'.

However, here's a bit more; I recall that in the 1950s, on busy days, it was usual for strangers to share a cafe or restaurant table. (I suspect that in China it may still be the case.) I have no problem with it; I like meeting people.

We are mostly better off now than then, but perhaps less generous?

Maybe that was all that was left? Very few cafés have accommodation for one person.

Yesterday, I got to the head of the queue at a local cafe and there was only a table for 4 left. I told the waitress she should save it for someone else. "No, no. That's not how it works. You're at the head of the queue."

I took the table, but made it clear that I was happy to swap if a table for two came up.

I hate sharing tables.

I'd never ask to share and if I'm asked I always rush my drink so I can leave ASAP. Sometimes you want to enjoy your drink and relax. Lord knows you pay enough for one in coffee shops these days!

I don't think it's out of order to say no unless you're taking up 6 seater bench or something. I do understand that it's frustrating, though. I have been disappointed a few times recently to see lone people with a work laptop out, taking up a large space because they need a plug, nursing a small coffee for ages when the shop is busy. It must be frustrating for staff.

I really couldn't get upset about people grabbing a seat while the person they're with queues. It's weird when both queue up and it makes the line long. Plus they chat and it slows everything down.

No idea. People still do it round my way - particularly when the folk involved are pensioners who are often single.

Some of the responses here today make me wonder what the eff we're supposed to do when we're widowed: fling ourselves in the furnace along with our OH?

What the fuck do you expect people on their own to do?

Selfish entitled fuckers shouldn't take tables before being served.

One of you should have grabbed a table while the other ordered and paid. If there was no space you should have taken away. The mum and child were probably at that table because there were no smaller tables. If it was possible to move the tables apart you could have done that, but joining other people at a table is - in my opinion - weird.

I have already answered this