To be petrified driving on motorways

[mollyfolk]

Anyone else scared of driving on motorways? I'm driving years but mostly within 20km of where I live. I avoid motorways or long distances as much as possible. I have to make a 3 hour journey now on Monday, mostly motorway, and I am already feeling sick about it.

I do breathing exercises to stay calm when driving like this. Has anyone overcome a phobia like this?

@Iusedtobecarmen yes, I know - I was defending you!

He chooses to drive on UK holidays. When I passed my test I asked to be put on his insurance and I'd share driving and he said no its fine. So that's his choice!!

A foolish and short sighted choice IMO.

I know so many older women whose husbands did all the holiday and motorway driving, then they became incapacitated or died and these women were stuffed. If you can drive please keep it up in case you are needed.

If you’re scared of using it in a particular way then you shouldn't be using it in that way

It's sad to see that so many women are scared to drive on a motorway. Most people are nervous when they first learn to drive but most just keep going until it becomes second nature.

It's also uncomfortable to read how many rely on husbands/partners to do the driving. Please, please... to all women depending on a man to do the driving... please! Learn to be independent. You never know when they won't be there. You need to stand on your own two feet.

Don't understand people being slagged off for not driving on motorways... personal choice. If it suits them who is anyone to judge.

Disagree. Being nervous isn't great. But being cocky and driving too fast and intimidating other drivers so you can speed is worse.
And don't get me talking about mobile phone use.
I may be nervous and limited and cautious but at least I know my limitations.
I don't think a day goes by when I don't witness dangerous driving. And the best is, they aren't even aware of it.

I didn’t say it was happening to me. I’ve observed many an arsehole driving dangerously and doing this to people during my commute on a dual carriageway.

@GenAvocadoOnToast yeah I'd absolutely agree with that. But I don't let it bother me. If I fancy slowing down to pull in a gap and get out of their way or speeding up to get out of their way, I absolutely will. Mostly, if they antagonise me, I'll slow down and stay there 🤣

There are no motorways in my county so I love the safety of driving on them elsewhere.

They're the safest roads to drive on.

@ExceededUsefulEconomicLife

ha ha no definitely won’t be hanging out in the middle lane. Left lane only and I’ll only delighted to hang out behind a lorry. I only change lanes if absolutely necessary.

Once I get over the getting on via the slip road which is petrifying in my mind but in reality, with my early start time, should be fine. And then not missing my exit to get off, I am relatively fine in middle bit where you just have to drive straight.

Some people don’t understand the rules of motorways at all.

I'm Not totally independent! DH drives on family hols only. His choice. The rest of the time I drive myself or get train etc.
If something happened to him or we split. I'd still be a perfectly functioning professional woman. I can drive. And unless I moved out in the sticks away from all the people I know, I still don't think I'd need to use a motorway.
I don't need a man to drive me anywhere. If he wants the stress of driving 200 miles on holiday then he can go ahead!

Hanging out being a lorry isn't a particularly good idea. Much safer to signal and pass confidently in the next lane.

Motorway driving is literally the easiest, and always my preferred option. Give me that over endless traffic lights and roundabouts.

I echo two thoughts on this thread - go take some motorway lessons, and if driving makes you anxious in any way, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

Is it his choice though? Or does he do it because you don't want to because that's not the same thing!

@MereDintofPandiculation but if you're a trained confident driver, what would that situation be?

I can't stand motorways so will always pick an a road if it's alongside and doesn't add to much time but it's not from fear or confidence but generally getting frustrated at not making progress due to incompetence or lane hoggers. I drive 200 miles a day on average and I see so many people on phones and not paying attention in lanes 2,3 & 4 that I either follow a lorry to be away from it all or get off asap.

So sorry. I missread!😳

Thanks 😊

• Disagree. Being nervous isn't great. But being cocky and driving too fast and intimidating other drivers so you can speed is worse. And don't get me talking about mobile phone use*

@Iusedtobecarmen 100% agree but there is a middle ground of calculated, confident awareness. I like to think that's me but I 100% make errors as everyone does.

I don’t agree. I’m a nervous driver. But. I have good observation and I understand and follow the rules.

People who speed or use their mobile phone shouldn’t be driving.

I have no idea.
I offered to car share when I passed my test and then I wouldn't have to fork out for another unnecessary vehicle. And I could share the driving.
I expected him to be delighted, but he wasn't keen.
And then said he likes driving, it's fine, he said.
Well who am I to argue. I wasn't begging him. So I went and bought myself a car.
I hated learning to drive and I still don't like it. So it's fine by me. I d rive when I have to and I drive every day really.

There isn't actually any proper motorways anywhere near me, I'd have to drive quite far to get to one so its not something I've ever had to avoid because I've never had to drive anywhere that it would be an option. There are dual carriageways though and I also don't want to drive on them, so I can't drive to the nearest city when I want to visit there but I take the train instead. Problem is, if I need to see a doctor in the evenings or weekends the nearest A&E is in the city, so if my OH wasn't able to drive then I'd have a problem (though even if there weren't dual carriageways I don't think I could focus that long for that drive as its 85km and I get tired after 20)

OH always drives when we go somewhere altogether, and I contribute by looking out for elk!

Yes I agree, but the kind of confidence I witness is the dangerous type. Being caught with mobile phone/drink driving/ dangerous driving should be a lifetime ban.

@Bogginsthe3rd yes and no. I'll drive as required. Sometimes it's behind a lorry, sometimes it's overtaking them and sometimes sitting behind, sometimes it's being nowhere near them but if I'm not sitting in lane 3 at 60 watching the guy in front of me dilly dally because he's on his phone and forgot to look at the speedo, I'll get aggravated because I have the patience of a three year old that can see a bouncy castle. If I'm behind a lorry making sure I'm safe, my heart rate and blood pressure remain low. I know that's my problem but that's my way of solving it. Like I say, I drive a lot and sometimes I don't care and sometimes I do. Whatever reduces my workplace stress and frown lines is the best option as long as it's safe.

Op you can do this! It's really not how you think it is going to be. The more you do it the more relaxed you are about it.

Up until this year I'd used motorways on occasion and it felt like a big deal.

Now I drive 400 miles every other weekend all on the M56/M6/M75. At the moment it's always dark, usually raining and can hit fog at times. It is fine.

I take a hot drink and listen to an audiobook. I'm 56 and have been driving for a long time but only got into motorway driving this year.

Personal choice is of course fine, but many on this thread are not motorway driving because they are scared to do so.

I am glad I am not one of them because it would really impact on the things I want to do and the people I want to see. I understand that this is due to where I live and the life I lead and that for many people it's absolutely not a barrier.