To be petrified driving on motorways

[mollyfolk]

Anyone else scared of driving on motorways? I'm driving years but mostly within 20km of where I live. I avoid motorways or long distances as much as possible. I have to make a 3 hour journey now on Monday, mostly motorway, and I am already feeling sick about it.

I do breathing exercises to stay calm when driving like this. Has anyone overcome a phobia like this?

@Natsku exactly. Glad you get it.

@biscuitsandbooks you've opened another can of worms there! I would say there is real life and there is Mumsnet. I do know plenty of women who don't drive or are driven on long journeys, it seems to be a gender stereotype that the lady is the passenger. I don't know a single male who can't drive and is driven by their significant other but yes, I do read it quite often. I do think i read about it as often as those that talk about motorway driving or being incapable to do something on the road.

Well done op.

I had to do a motorway drive today which I wasn’t expecting. I loathe motorways because of some imo reckless drivers. Most behaved today and it took me slightly less than the sat nav of 3 hours.

I do all the city driving as dh hates driving in town & he generally does the motorways but wasn’t feeling great so I drove.

Brilliant and well done!

70 mph is about 110 km/hour so not really that much slower. It was always going to be the case that if you could do dual carriageways, you'd be able to do motorways, and now you know it.

I live near the A41. That is truly terrifying to drive on compared to the M40.

If you can happily drive on A-roads just treat Motorways the same. Drive in the first lane and overtake if you need to. It is also acceptable if the traffic is heavy to undertake safely by staying in lane.

The only one I'd really avoid is the M25 as it can get very congested with huge lorries.

The suggestion of having a driving lesson on the Motorway is a good one as you'll learn best practice.

After I passed my test I had a lesson with my instructor to get used to Motorways as they are scary at first, especially joining. Now I don't think twice. I do think a lot of women let their husbands do the longer drives and then lose their own skills. Use it or lose it!

Erm if you don't like others joining (!) or HGVs - a perfectly valid road user, then sorry but yes it is you that's the problem not other drivers!

I prefer the m25! Everyone knows it's a shit show so they're patient and take their time.

I've just had some scary incidents involving lorries pulling out and not seeing me. Too many near misses!

I never stay in their blind spot or linger at their side. I've seen them change lane and hit a car they didn't see. Usually it ends there but I always dread a domino effect so I never sit in between them either. I've seen final destination too many times.

Whenever I'm overtaking a lorry I speed up so I can get the fuck out the way of it as soon as possible.

Yes i sm aware, i was referring to motorways

Do we have the stats to back up how dangerous nervous drivers are? Or is that also anecdotal?

I can tell you a startling statistic - in 25% of car occupant dearhs, 25% were not wearing a seatbelt! So of 1624 deaths on our roads last year, 25% were probably avoidable. The percentage rose to 38% at night. Brake data. That’s truly shocking. Over 1/3 of car occupant deaths at night don’t have seat belts on.
Some data:
5 road fatalities per billion miles travelled in Uk
75% of fatalities were male
You are 27 times more likely to die on the road if you are a motorcyclist
Of all those in vehicles killed on the roads: 60% on rural roads, 35% urban roads and 5% motorways.
Only 84 fatalities occurred on motorways last year.
source: uk Reported Road casualties 2023 - uk government.
Motorway driving is the safest. Rural road driving the least safe.

You are picking a fight.
All this hypothetical what if you were forced on motorway due to roadworks or a sick relative🙄
It's a bit like the other mumsnet fave of one parent not drinking in case of emergency hospital visit for DC.

That's a bit worrying. The speed limit on an A road dual carriageway is the same as a motorway and on a B road it's only 10 mph less. What speed are you able to think at? Fast enough to avoid a child running out onto a 30mph road?

Google maps has a non motorway option for people like us, which is surprisingly 20% of drivers! Hypnotherapy unfortunately didn't really work for me, but it might for you. Good luck.

@Allfur not quite the same! you have stated that speeding and driving recklessly are the biggest causes of motorway accidents which sounds like something that needs to be backed up statistically. I've just said that nervous drivers are dangerous which is a fact that does not need to be backed up statically as we all see it - same as speeding and reckless driving. I'm not saying they cause accidents, I'm saying we, the competent, have to watch out more for them to avoid.

I once had this option selected and didn't realise. It took us an additional 2 hours on what would have been a 1.5 hour journey. I never told DH but he was shocked how much quicker the journey back was 🤣

The top causes of accidents on all roads are :
Driver error in misjudging a situation so maneuvering dangerously or sudden braking

Failing to look properly. Inattention and distraction.

Lack of experience. Most common in younger drivers. So no experience of road conditions etc.

Injudicious actions, eg speeding.

Many accidents can involve all of these plus being in a hurry. I cannot find motorway stats alone but as they are only 5% of deaths, they probably have the same causes. Speeding is in at no 4. It’s not the main cause.

Its not a fact at all.

I can't see how the driver in front of me feels. You've named a certain set of behaviours as how a nervous person drives. I think mainly hesitancy and slow speeds.

There are loads of people who feel nervous but perform better as the adrenaline helps them process quickly and make more decisive actions.

There are plenty of perfectly calm people who drive slowly or are indecisive about whether to go for a gap..

Brake say 58% of deaths on the road had speed as a road safety factor. I’m not sure they’d make it up.

It’s well known that speed kills. Not looking also has a high rate of death, pretty sure aggressive drivers that speed will be in that category. Nervous drivers are often more vigilant.

I find it interesting that so many people see motorway driving as the be all and end all.

I wonder how many of them are confident driving along single track country lanes, or are happy to reverse around almost blind corners because they’ve come face to face with a tractor?

DH once had to drive someone else’s car for them on a single track lane because they weren’t confident enough to reverse back and into a passing place!

I don't think it's seen as the be all and end all. It's one example and, particularly, the example under discussion on this thread.

I think some posters have even said about all terrain - if you can't drive on essentially normal roads, then you're not a competent driver. Country roads a la Cornwall make more sense to be nervous (not petrified) than a motorway but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to drive on them. I grew up around country roads so they don't bother me. When I am on them, I always make sure I'm the one to reverse, pull up so they can pass because I'm confident to do so and wouldn't want anyone else to be on edge unnecessarily but the other person should still be able to drive safely on them.

Especially so for a tractor, etc. my car is much easier to manoeuvre