To be petrified driving on motorways

[mollyfolk]

Anyone else scared of driving on motorways? I'm driving years but mostly within 20km of where I live. I avoid motorways or long distances as much as possible. I have to make a 3 hour journey now on Monday, mostly motorway, and I am already feeling sick about it.

I do breathing exercises to stay calm when driving like this. Has anyone overcome a phobia like this?

I guess the motorway becomes a 'not motorway' then, and also if the diversion is so limited I'm guessing the whole road network is going to be pretty snarled up, meaning all the fears people have about motorways will be moot anyway.

Fun times!

@Catza you're wilfully missing the point.

Yes it is a literal take. If someone says they can't, I'll assume they are unable. Not that they can but don't like to. I don't like to drive on the Coventry ring road but I do and don't avoid it. If someone wants to meet there, it has no effect on me getting there.

But then I absolutely cannot stand the train and would only get one to London but be awaiting the cancellation notification on the way home.

Yes! I am now. When I was younger I used to drive huge distances on motorways without batting an eyelid. But chuffing ‘smart’ motorways are terrifying, especially with little one in the back.
People drive like complete dicks, either too slow in the outside lanes or too fast, and cutting in without leaving proper gaps.
I avoid them wherever possible. I always make sure the car maintenance is tip top - service up to date, fully fuelled, tyres in good nick and pressure checked before travelling etc. I actually prefer driving at heavy traffic times, as the speeds are lower.

I passed my test at 17 but didn't have a car of my own until I was 40.

I was always terrified of motorways. It was the speed and joining in on the slip road that bothered me.

We live quite a way from a motorway but we do have a dual carriageway A Road. I got a job about ten years ago which meant I had to use the A road to get to work or go on a long convoluted route to get to work. I was nervous at first but got used to 'joining in'. This gave me more confidence to drive on motorways.

If the OP can pick a quiet time to practice on the motorway I think that would help. This is what I did before I started the job

I am still nervous on motorways especially in heavy rain. I once visited my son in hospital (on my own) and the weather coming back was horrendous. You hardly see and there were loads of lorries on the motorway.

My DH usually does the motorway driving when we go on holiday etc.

I do struggle on motorways at night and won't drive on them then unless they are fully lit. Actually, I don't like driving in the dark or rain at all unless I am familiar with the area. I think I have night blindness.

So you agree, the risk takers are more dangerous, given that there's more of them. Surely speeding, and driving recklessly are the biggest causes of motorway accidents.

'I find it a bit bizarre that you're expected to be able to magically do this with zero motorway practice after passing your test'

I think that at least two hours of motorway driving should be part of the driving test. Obviously this should be done after you have passed but I still think it should be included.

So what would a learner or a cyclist do? Presumably turn around and go elsewhere - which is exactly what a nervous driver is likely to do as well.

I said they’re both dangerous. It doesn’t really matter which is more dangerous if they both are. If someone is scared of driving they’re dangerous and are knowingly putting others in danger. Same as reckless drivers.

@Allfur The stats clearly show motorways are the safest roads. For a start, all the traffic goes in the same direction. A head on collision is far less likely! Many collisions occur when cars push out when merging and drivers already on the motorway cannot move over. Or won’t. A twisty A road with a 60 or 50 limit is more dangerous.

Slow drivers are a nuisance. They might not be in an accident, but they cause them. I often see drivers who cannot judge the width of their car so hold everyone up when there’s ample room to pass a parked car. People who pull out without looking. People who jump red lights. People who change lanes suddenly at roundabouts. Plus other issues. Only one is blatant risk taking but all are causes of accidents. Often nowhere near a motorway. Obviously hazardous overtaking is a risk anywhere. Less so on a motorway as there’s nothing coming the other way!

Surely speeding, and driving recklessly are the biggest causes of motorway accidents. @Allfur do you have the stats to back that up or is it anecdotal?

What annoys me is that you wouldn't get a bunch of men saying they can't/wont drive on the motorway or a certain road and DW has to look after them and sort it out. It reeks of "I'm just a little woman and I can't work out this fancy automobile" and we really need to stop doing that.

Yes I agree. What was I thinking I could just teach her by going out for a spin! I told her to take lessons with someone specialising in fear. My friend should not be driving until she has overcome her fear.

Some vehicles that can drive/ride on A roads are not legal to drive/ride on motorways

I totally agree! And I was totally stupid thinking I could teach her. I had no idea what this panic about motorways was about.

I think your thought process was a perfectly reasonable one. Most people don't react as she did and you weren't necessarily to know.

Hmm, there are men who are scared to drive or who don't like driving - it's just they don't talk about it.

It's not a common theme like with women.

Get some driving/experience lessons and a decent sized modern car to protect you if you are likely to do any mileage.

Driving on motorways is easier and safer than driving on single lane A roads.

Just take your time, stay in the slow lane so you don’t have to change lanes often. Remember nobody wants to bump into you 😀! Have some favourite music playing in the background. I know exactly how you feel as I used to hate them too but now I much prefer them to A and B roads. Remember there are emergency lay by’s if you panic and feel you absolutely have to stop. I hope someone is travelling with you xx

Glad to hear it. Hope the return trip is also ok.

Do organise some motorway lessons asap to get better acquainted with motorway driving. It's a different skill set and does take practice. A key thing to remember is that motorway driving only seems fast if you are treating it the same as town driving. A motorway driver will have a different body position because they are looking much further ahead on the road and are barely attending to the road that is immediately in front of them (which should be empty and uneventful).

FFS laybys are not there for you to have a bloody panic attack in about driving!

I'm not so sure, there are plenty of threads here from women who are sick of doing all the driving because their DH promised to learn and then didn't.

I wonder if women are more likely to try and pass for their kids' sake, even if they're not that confident, and men are more happy to just coast and don't worry about it as much.

Admittedly I do know more women who don't drive than men, but for most of them it's down to money rather than fear.

Is that so? Would you drive on a road with 30cm of unploughed snow on it like I had to do today to get to work? A very hilly windy 20km of deep snow, with poor visibility. And you can't slow down on the hills or you'll go back down again backwards. If you can't drive on that, then I guess you can't drive.

She already completed the journey this morning x