To be petrified driving on motorways

[mollyfolk]

Anyone else scared of driving on motorways? I'm driving years but mostly within 20km of where I live. I avoid motorways or long distances as much as possible. I have to make a 3 hour journey now on Monday, mostly motorway, and I am already feeling sick about it.

I do breathing exercises to stay calm when driving like this. Has anyone overcome a phobia like this?

You would be very unreasonable to get on that motorway if you are already in such a panic. Your nervousness makes you a danger to the other road users.

Totally agree, planning on a Motorway is paramount. Looking well ahead and planning and being Totally aware of what's happening behind you and to the side of you. Avoid staying in blind spots too long, especially alongside larger vehicles. Leave space around you. If someone fills it, create space again.
Sadly Pass Plus courses can only be taken within the 1st year of passing but nothing to stop an instructor following the syllabus if appropriate

my friend used to do this: avoid all motorways as she hated them. Until one day she hit a diversion and it was via the M25. She totally panicked. I then decided I would take her for a motorway run……. She totally freaked and we had to swap on the hard shoulder. In my opinion you should not have a licence if you are not able to drive on the motorway. Go to a specialist instructor for your own and our safety.

What did all the traffic do that was not allowed on the motorway? Turn back?

Do you live in the north of Scotland? I'm trying to think where is so far away from a motorway. Unless you are not in the UK (entirely probable) or my geography is terrible (also entirely possible).

I much prefer driving on a motorway. No parked cars, pedestrians, buses or diversions to manage.
I know this doesn't help you though.

Just drive at a reasonable speed, sometimes if I can't be bothered keeping to a speed I deliberately stay behind a slower vehicle. As long as you aren't ridiculously slow - so in the UK the limit is 70 mph ( not km!) I feel anything above 60mm in the inside lane is reasonable. Less if it's raining heavily or snowing.

We only have your word for it. How can you say you're competent when you only ever drive in the areas you need to? You never stray from those roads?
If you cannot drive on a motorway you cannot drive

Do people really spend lots of time driving in areas they don't need to drive, just to prove they can.
I cant fathom driving 200 miles away, when I dont need to, just to prove I could.

But where do you go, do you never have a day out, go to a different town? Have to drive to an airport, go on holiday? Do you really never stray from your immediate vicinity?

I mean, people don't do it for the craic, they do it because they're going somewhere 😂 Like a holiday, or a wedding etc.

Well, it isn't me that lives 200 miles from a motorway.

but i dont really regularly travel 200 plus miles so i got her point. My work is close, my childens schools are close, my supermarket is close, my friends are mainly local. i can get to many towns and going on a motorway would be a detour not the most direct route, i can get to the seaside without a motorway. I live in an area with lots of motorways and I could still live a full varied life without using them.

Obviously there are other towns and other bits of coast where motorways are needed, but this isn't everyday life for me.

i prefer london by train and most cities to be honest.

I actually I prefer a taxi the airport as by the time we have paid congestion and parking it's not much different. I also think driving very tired is dangerous. But we aren't wealthy so we last went abroad 7 years ago. I'm can't see someone should give up driving because once every 7 years they get a taxi instead of driving to Heathrow as they decide it's not a familiar road and they are tired after a flight.

So if today, you got a call, a relative was in hospital in a town that you could only travel to via motorway, would you and could you, get in the car, put sat nav on and drive on a motorway?
Obviously work & childcare permitting etc, could you drive on a motorway today if need be?

Well successfully made it this morning without a hitch.

Changed my plans so I only drove an hour to a friend's house and we went in her car the rest of the way.

It was fine, I just need to do it more often. It becomes a very big deal in my head otherwise.

Thanks for all the encouraging words.

What an odd post.

Well I could. I just dont agree that someone who couldn't face driving on a motorway shouldn't be on the roads at all.

I think its fine to know your limits, drive according to your experience and get a taxi to the hospital in that scenario.

I can't see why someone has to limit the 99% of thier life, where they are competent and succesful, for a 1% eventuality which there are alternative solutions to.

Well done @mollyfolk, I hope you have a lovely day.

No it isn't, its asking a valid question, if you cannot drive on all roads, you cannot drive! It's that simple.

Do it again tomorrow, and the day after, go to different places

When you get Monday out of the way, treat this like a project and perhaps get up early on a Sunday and go for a drive when it is quiet and you don't have the pressure of a deadline or a destination. Join a junction then leave and drive back. Repeat enough times to take the edge off. Slowly increase the time and then use busier periods.

Could you? You have even said you'd get a taxi in that scenario.

If you cannot drive on a motorway, you are not a competent driver.

Learners weren’t even allowed to drive on motorways until 2018. Millions of drivers were deemed competent and issued a licence without ever having driven on one. Are you saying all those millions of people couldn’t drive and therefore shouldn’t have been issued a licence?

I am doing a very usual thing on mumsnet. I am putting myself in someone else's shoes and imagining why they might behave differently than me. I'm even going one step further and feeling sympathy for someine who doesn't do exactly what I can or would do.

Do people mean proper motorways (i.e., 3-4 lanes), or is this applied to all dual carriage ways?

I'm absolutely fine with motorways and stuff, but not keen on inner city driving! I do both and don't fret about it, I just rely on my sat nav mostly! But I find fast motorway driving with multiple lanes easier than inner city!

I disagree with the people saying that if you are nervous of driving on a motorway you shouldn't be driving at all.
I have lost confidence on motorways and also would not drive into a big city.
I live rurally and I feel completely confident on local roads.
I think its important to know your limits.
Traffic is heavy on the motorway and moves at great speed. My own hesitancy and nervousness would make me dangerous.
I never drive long distances, I take the train.
If I were younger and work might require me to drive distances I would take some motorway lessons and try gradual desensitization by going on the motorway for short distances at quiet times. I don't see the point forcing it if it will never be required. ( I would have to travel 80 miles to find a motorway to practice on. There's a dual carriageway but it doesn't feel as daunting.

There is not much difference between a dual carriageway and a motorway. Motorways are our safest roads. I agree merging onto one is the most difficult bit if it’s busy. However practice helps and I’d start with a dual carriageway where you must join via a slip road.

When dm was old she didn’t drive far and never ever went on a motorway in 60 years of driving. That means limiting yourself to destinations. Great if you have time to take side roads. Most of us don’t and go on holiday in cars which means driving more than 20km and often motorways and dual carriageways. Life is limited otherwise and you become dependent on others.

Well done for driving for 1 hour @mollyfolk . That’s a good start. There’s a whole lot more you can do now. Have fun.