Page 12 | To be petrified driving on motorways

mollyfolk · 2024-12-14T13:19:04+00:00

Anyone else scared of driving on motorways? I'm driving years but mostly within 20km of where I live. I avoid motorways or long distances as much as possible. I have to make a 3 hour journey now on Monday, mostly motorway, and I am already feeling sick about it. I do breathing exercises to stay calm when driving like this. Has anyone overcome a phobia like this?

MrsMrsD · 15/12/2024 18:30

You are a hazard on the road if you're petrified of a motorway! How ridiculous. Anyone so scared of driving shouldn't be in charge of a ton of car and certainly shouldn't be on the road. Either get some extra lessons, maybe book with the IAM or stay away from the potential killing machine.

BambinaCucina · 15/12/2024 18:37

Honestly long as you don't focus on the end of your bumper youll be absolutely fine. Look ahead and read the road. And it's one of those things where the more you put it off, the worse it becomes in your head.

I'd also suggest a pass plus course.

However, in light of your upcoming trip, is there another route you can take that will take the pressure off?

MarvellousMonsters · 15/12/2024 18:44

I avoid motorways because most people drive like complete lunatics on them. They leave me simultaneously angry and scared. I set my satnav to avoid motorways, I'd rather go a fiddly route than have fuckwits in BMWs and lorries cutting me up and tailgating me, even when I'm driving at the speed limit.

pumpkinpillow · 15/12/2024 18:47

MarvellousMonsters · 15/12/2024 18:44

I avoid motorways because most people drive like complete lunatics on them. They leave me simultaneously angry and scared. I set my satnav to avoid motorways, I'd rather go a fiddly route than have fuckwits in BMWs and lorries cutting me up and tailgating me, even when I'm driving at the speed limit.

Most people do not drive like complete lunatics on motorways.

Deeperthantheocean · 15/12/2024 18:47

It is nerve wracking due to the high speeds I know. The hardest past is joining though, after that you can stay (which we're supposed to) in left hand lane where the speed is just like a dual carriageway. Just keep calm, be aware, imagine the other drivers around you feeling the same. Unfortunately there are arses who race and are inconsiderate but that's their problem and they need to slow down. X

emmax1980 · 15/12/2024 19:18

I've been driving for 7 years and I drive a fiesta, I have been on the motorway twice on a junction and off again. I don't like the changing lanes and busyness but I need to get over that fear. I don't have cruise control either.

MasterBeth · 15/12/2024 19:43

Forgottenwhatitwas · 14/12/2024 14:59

Not sure that's fair. I avoid motorways, I'm a very competent driver. It's other people I'm not so sure about!

Edit: Sorry, meant to quote @masterbeth

"If you're petrified driving on motorways, you shouldn't be driving at all."

Edited

No. This makes no sense.

MasterBeth · 15/12/2024 19:47

hulahula2 · 15/12/2024 11:39

Gosh there are some rotten, superior twats on here. Who are you to say people shouldn't be driving if they are nervous of a certain type of road? I've been driving for 20 years and managed perfectly fine. I just didn't like motorways because of the speed and the fear of missing a junction. It was more a phobia than anything and just something I was nervous to do. Luckily I beat the fear and am now ok but I'm still anxious about long or unfamiliar routes.

Telling people how much more competent you are than them and how they shouldn't be doing things unless they are totally 100% confident is not a good look.

Taking to the road when you can't drive properly is risking your own life and the rest of ours.

Nikki75 · 15/12/2024 19:56

ViaRia01 · 14/12/2024 13:37

I used have the same problem so I booked a driving instructor for refresher lessons. I explained the problem first and she said she could help. I ended up only having one lesson (probably 2 hours I think) and it was amazing. Didn’t need to see her again after that.

For me, the fear was mainly to do with merging onto the motorway and changing lanes and also just driving at double the speed I am used to on local roads. I found it very difficult to make crucial decisions so quickly - as everyone was moving fast, the entire situation could change fast, before I’d committed to a manoeuvre, eg changing lane. I needed a safe and supportive environment to practice making those decisions quickly but getting used to identifying who was moving faster than me, how long it would take for a car in the next lane to reach me, etc.

The instructor also helped me in a way I never expected, around confidence in feeling like I belong on the road just as much as anyone else. That I was not in the way. That I need not worry about anything other than my own driving as other drivers were also free to slow down or overtake as they see fit.

All of that in just two hours!

Not sure if any of this resonates with you but just thought I’d share as, for me, getting over this aversion has been life changing and given me the ability to access so much more in my life.

I'm taking this advice for myself ...

pigsDOfly · 15/12/2024 19:57

mollyfolk · 14/12/2024 18:13

I'm not in the UK - the speed limit is 120km/hr here. I usually go around 100km/hr, I feel like you are more of a danger going too slow. If I could go 80 I'd feel much more comfortable.

I didn't realise the speed limit is only 70km/hr in the UK. That would be fine!

The speed limit in the UK is 70 miles per hour, not 70km/hr.

70 miles per hour is around 4 miles an hour less than 120km/hr, so very similar speed limit to where you are.

70km/hr is just over 43 miles an hour. No one drives at 40mph on a motorway here unless stuck in a jam of slow moving traffic.

Elsvieta · 15/12/2024 20:04

Book a few hours with an instructor and have some motorway lessons. Then it's like everything else - the more you do it, the easier it gets.

StrikeForever · 15/12/2024 20:07

FloordrobeIsGoingToGetME · 14/12/2024 13:56

Yes - I had bad anxiety for 10 years which resulted in number of things, including stopping driving on the motorways/A roads between the age of 30 and 40 (having previously been very accomplished).

I tried a lot of things, and finally came across 'trauma driving therapy' with specialists,

I've been back on any and all roads for 15 years now, including Europe.

Driving without constrains or boundaries is my idea of freedom.

For me, it was anxiety related - the motorway was a symptom that I could identify, but there were other things I was avoiding too.

Not any more 😎

It's addressable, OP 💕

Do you have a link for your trauma driving therapy? Weirdly, I’m a Psychologist who provides therapy, including therapy for PTSD following serious RTCs. In carrying out that therapy and providing Psychological reports in cases of personal injury litigation, I myself have developed anxious about travelling on unfamiliar motorways (I’m fine on familiar sections) and on country roads. Its true that there are fewer accidents on motorways per mile of traffic, but without wanting to trigger anyone here, accidents at low to moderate speed (in cities etc) are much less likely to result in death or life changing injuries than accidents at high speed.

fairytailcat · 15/12/2024 20:15

Hi

Me too

It's the speed! It petrifies me. One wrong move or lapse of concentration could be fateful

fairytailcat · 15/12/2024 20:15

Fatal!!! Not fateful

Anonymouseposter · 15/12/2024 20:15

suki1964 · 14/12/2024 22:16

I dint say I wouldn't overtake

I live in a very tourist area, caravans and campers for miles, as well as tractors and other assorted slow moving vehicles , and you get a nervous driver behind one and thats it, you could be stuck many miles before you get clearance to take both. Today, I saw cars and vans taking risks because a slow/elderly/nervous driver wouldn't take the camper in front

Show quote history

Theyre the dangerous ones-they need to learn patience.

Olderbutt · 15/12/2024 20:21

I was a driving instructor for 32 years, retired this year. Please don't be embarrassed, this situation is really common. I was really lucky in that when I passed my test, I passed on a Friday, got given a company car and had to drive 40 miles on a Motorway, on the Monday. So in effect thrown in at the deep end.
If you can't make alternative arrangements for your upcoming trip, plan your journey for a quieter time of day if you can and plan to make regular stops. Look at a road Atlas and see if you can avoid the Motorway for parts of the journey to give you a break. Then after Christmas book some Motorway lessons to increase your confidence. You could also ask to cover anything else that you're anxious about. Please ring potential instructors straight away though, as the vast majority will have a waiting list. Good luck!

Hotflushesandchilblains · 15/12/2024 20:27

I always find this type of anxiety interesting - I know motorways are fast, but they are relatively safe - I have always hated driving on little B roads, especially in poor weather - those are truly dangerous.

FloordrobeIsGoingToGetME · 15/12/2024 20:33

@StrikeForever

I do - it's this lady

carolcsharptherapy.co.uk/contact-carolcsharp.html

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 15/12/2024 20:36

Taking to the road when you can't drive properly is risking your own life and the rest of ours.

Wise words @MasterBeth unfortunately the nervous drivers don't see it that way. Everyone else is the problem.

Judecb · 15/12/2024 20:50

Have a look at a map and see if you can make the drive on 'A' roads instead. Yes, it may add some time to the journey, but worth it to relieve your anxiety. As I've got older I prefer to avoid the motorway.

TizerorFizz · 15/12/2024 21:00

Most accidents happen to motorists near their home! Not on a motorway. More pedestrians are killed in urban areas. Accidents on motorways are fewer. So getting confidence to go on one is important in terms of safety if nothing else. Practice makes perfect.

Bernardo1 · 15/12/2024 21:32

I would wish more people were anxious, not petrified about motorway driving.
Then it would be safer.

Karenandfour1 · 15/12/2024 22:14

I’m the same. I just get a train to go long distances. I’ve avoided them for 42 years so don’t see any point starting now 😂

RaraRachael · 15/12/2024 22:27

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 15/12/2024 20:36

Taking to the road when you can't drive properly is risking your own life and the rest of ours.

Wise words @MasterBeth unfortunately the nervous drivers don't see it that way. Everyone else is the problem.

So I "Can't drive properly" because I won't use motorways?
I drive perfectly competently within the areas I need to. The nearest motorway is 200 miles away. I never need to use it. If I go somewhere further afield I take the train.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 15/12/2024 22:34

@RaraRachael if you can't drive on a motorway, then no, you can't drive properly. If you don't like to, as I've stated I don't, then no. It's a choice. I'm perfectly capable of doing it and do regularly... as in daily but when I can use an A/B road without much diversion and time then I do.

Being able to drive on basic roads, to a basic standard should be something we can all do. It's not the same as rally driving or off roading which it makes sense for someone with a licence to not competently do.