Bloody Christmas Crackers

[GlamorousHeifer]

I am driving myself mad (admittedly a short drive!) over Christmas crackers of all things!
I must have been looking online researching my options for about 8+ hours (in total, not 8 straight hours, I'm not that crazy!) but none of them are quite right.
Must be:
*Plastic free
*Beautiful
*8 pack
*Pre made, not make yourself
*Decent gift (no toe nail clippers or tiny screwdrivers!) Ideally a keepsake.
*Suitable for teen boys and girls
*Not more than £25.
Aibu to believe the crackers of my dreams exist despite an extensive search coming up with nothing?
For those that need to hear it, this is lighthearted, yes I do have plenty of other things to worry about, yes I know the COL has gone up and some people won't be able to celebrate at all etc etc.

I think meaningful keepsake x8 and under £25 is your stumbling block.

OP this was me last year. I ended up splashing out on some (what me and DH thought were fabulous) locked room puzzle crackers. I wrongly thought this would provide a lovely interlude between main course and dessert. Two of our guests refused to engage in any way with them and absolutely killed the mood as it required everyone to join in. My mother insisted that there were instructions missing and kept berating my DH implying this was somehow his fault. I was so cross I went to do the washing up and left the teenagers to deal with it (which was quite funny as the GPs are far less rude to them). This year I have spent £3.99 on a box of 12 Lidl crackers with charades in. They are entirely made of paper. I've bought a new board game for us to play with the teens when the ingrates in my family have gone home.

Im not sure what you’re expecting for £3 a pop. In 8 hours you could’ve made them about 3 times over.

Those rspb holly ones are great. Nice key ring and grater for teens. You could always buy felt decos from somewhere else and simply lay them on your plates/napkins?

If you compromise on the keepsake, hotel chocolat do crackers. You could get their mini crackers within budget, or the full size ones for slightly over. There are taskmaster ones that are on a watermelon theme. So not that christmassy, but probably more suited to the age range you are looking at.

Failing that, you could buy keepsakes and just sneak them in the side of any pre-made crackers you like. Budget is likely to be the issue there.

I've been having the opposite problem and just want some cheap throwaway ones that don't have a game in, I dont want to be playing games while I eat my christmas dinner.
The kids are only interested in the hat and the joke.
I want the old style ones with a frog that you can flip across the table and a fortune telling fish.

Are people (especially teenage boys) going honestly going to keep a small felt hanging decoration? How about something edible then it won’t go to waste?

I have already admitted I could have spent my time far more wisely and that I have champagne tastes on a prosecco budget!
I am fully aware of the lunacy of this situation 😂

https://shopping.rspb.org.uk/christmas-shop/christmas-crackers/christmas-chorus-recycled-crackers-chocolate-box-of-six.html

Chocolate!

I love tiny screwdrivers! Sorry just had to say that.

The ones with bells sound interesting if you can be confident it won't be a cacophony.

I just came on here to say this. If it wasn't for Christmas crackers I wouldn't be able to tighten my glasses.

These are fab - have just ordered a pack and we'll open them on Christmas Eve so that everyone can wear their festive socks the following day.

I see someone suggested Kukoo crackers - they have lots of lovely options. The spinning bugs are plastic, but we have kept them for 3 years, and they are now an essential part of my xmas dinner table setting. Much better than pull-back racing snowmen.

They will go back into my make your-own crackers again this year, along with a little pot of paint and a warhammer figure each. I do think if you want an exact thing, you have to make your own.

The fortune telling fish is the best!

But that's you and you don't speak for everyone else. Christmas crackers are an integral part of the Christmas table for me, especially now I have moved abroad.

Tk max

That's a difficult one, OP.
You will have to compromise on the £25, me thinks.
🍀

OP, do you have any ideas about the cracker gifts you'd like? A decent compromise would be to buy some that meet the rest of your criteria and then add in some gifts of your own choosing.

I've done it! I have ordered two boxes of these.
No keepsake but chocolate is just as good and won't get thrown away straight after lunch.
I feel like I am finally free of my cracker obsession and can move on with my life.
Thanks Everyone, hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

Don't we all have enough stuff though? I don't want anymore stuff I feel obliged to keep, I'm drowning in it. I think focus on little experiences, a joke and a charade, there must be clever people who have thought up fun quick games.i loved the idea of table fireworks pp said!

@GlamorousHeifer I’m the lunatic - I’m making mine this afternoon

Wholesalers for those. They are actually quite fun.

see here. www.lovechristmas.christmas/products/robin-reed-6-traditional-nutcracker-christmas-crackers

Well done!! Brilliant solution. Totally sympathise with the obsessive researching!

I know the OP has now bought some, but these crackers from Toast are lovely - look out for them at sale time for reductions:

https://www.toa.st/products/christmas-crackers-multi?