Bloody Christmas Crackers

[GlamorousHeifer]

I am driving myself mad (admittedly a short drive!) over Christmas crackers of all things!
I must have been looking online researching my options for about 8+ hours (in total, not 8 straight hours, I'm not that crazy!) but none of them are quite right.
Must be:
*Plastic free
*Beautiful
*8 pack
*Pre made, not make yourself
*Decent gift (no toe nail clippers or tiny screwdrivers!) Ideally a keepsake.
*Suitable for teen boys and girls
*Not more than £25.
Aibu to believe the crackers of my dreams exist despite an extensive search coming up with nothing?
For those that need to hear it, this is lighthearted, yes I do have plenty of other things to worry about, yes I know the COL has gone up and some people won't be able to celebrate at all etc etc.

Some scary looking nutcracker men figures that look like they might murder me in my sleep by the look of it OP!! I'd avoid unless you want to be the star of the latest Christmas day horror movie!

No tiny screwdrivers? When my 4 adult children were small they all wanted the cracker with the tiny screwdriver!

I wasn't going to bother with crackers but these are great. Thank you.

Very true, I could have wrapped all of the sodding presents in the 8 hours I have been searching!!
I do understand the ridiculousness of the situation.... but can't quite force myself to buy any of the hundreds of crackers I have seen just because they are not exactly to my random specifications or if they are they cost about £65 for a pack of 6.
Think I'm trying to live a champagne lifestyle on a prosecco budget.

Honestly, I think you should just get the fill your own ones!

I just ordered the rspb ones linked above. They look great.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't these fit every part of your brief except the budget, such is the way of the modern world

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-luxury-printed-christmas-crackers-pack-of-6-multi/p111500738?srsltid=AfmBOop3UfZLJCkd2NQBXRL7knd177ICwuHbbBl1sE0Diu63Gvl9ek8O9bg&gQT=1

Everyone who come to my house for Xmas dinner has to bring a cracker. Max £1 gift (although may have to increase that next year!)

Some great presents from £1 shop or charity shops or a lottery ticket if all else fails!

It works really well and much more interesting than shop crackers

I do keep looking at those...they are the closest I have come to buying any!

Yes, but don't you think the gifts are a bit naff for £40? Or am I just being ridiculously picky?

I still hanker after the “snowbabies” crackers from late 1980s which had little mini ceramic baby animals in them - Penguin, seal cub, snow fox etc. They were so cute.

What would be your idea of a non naff gift? You said keepsake, which these are.

I love the sock ones from this thread, although I’d still want a paper hat and a snapper.

Oh yes! They were the best 😍

Meanwhile I've just ordered the sock ones linked up thread, thank you.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1802650135/6-plastic-free-cracker-gifts-eco?click_key=507263249cf0462d4b0a5589c4ac565bdcef2300%3A1802650135&click_sum=de826a56&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=cracker+fillers&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&content_source=7e7d6fa983d898a5b6ef27ddec83f18058de5150%253A1802650135

These fillers are nice ...

Just looked at those rspb ones and they’re lovely! Might buy for next year! (We have the taskmaster ones this year). Impressed with the price - £22 for two boxes of 6.

These ones with gliders might be even better OP - a fun game thing the boys can play.

https://shopping.rspb.org.uk/christmas-shop/christmas-crackers/puffin-colony-recycled-crackers-toy-gliders-2x-boxes-of-6.html?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA0--6BhCBARIsADYqyL9lKt-WhAhOi5LHXggCA2_J1ssjXU69bJge-_1hzdIDaRVmxSIaYVYaAs_cEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&utm_source=skimlinks_phg&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=rspb-uk-affiliate

Or these, which don’t seem to be bird themed but I think fit the bill (although now I just want ones that all have tiny pots of jam in) shopping.rspb.org.uk/christmas-shop/christmas-crackers/holly-luxury-christmas-crackers.html

OMG yes!!
Perhaps that's why I'm frozen with indecision, nothing will ever compare to those lovely little crackers.

They do have a bit of an unfinished Hobbycraft vibe.

Best ones I got were from Etsy with handmade knitted Christmas decorations inside. I think still being sold on Etsy

I love these:
https://www.sophieallport.com/products/snow-season-christmas-crackers-set-of-6
Over budget but tempted to say sod it and order some!

They’re beautiful, but very expensive if you need 8!

Honestly - I think this is a case of accepting that what you want just doesn’t exist. If you want “keepsakes” as character gifts, then you’re probably looking at Fortnum and Mason and £200+. Do you have a TK Maxx? They have some of the large, branded crackers - if you spend £15/20 there, you’ll get something that looks impressive, but I’m afraid it’ll still be nail clippers inside!

Thanks everyone for putting up with my madness and all of your suggestions!
I nearly bought the Wrendale pack of six but decided I definitely need 8....
If I can't find any today that fit the brief then I will give up and make my own.
I have stuff to do (important stuff) and pissing about looking for crackers is achieving nothing 😂

I hadn’t checked these threads for a week, as I had finished my shopping. Proudly announced to DH that I had had my last twitch (harmonica for DC14 after a request at dinner). Am now enjoying my lie in and thought I’d have a quick browse of MN, saw this post and £85 later…
In my defence, I hadn’t bought any tree decorations this year, and usually like to add a couple, so got the gorgeous pewter doves for £5 down from £12. I also got calendars for 3 of the DC at £5 each. And bought 40m of wrapping paper. I was disappointed in all the paper this year in the shops, ended getting ok stuff from Waitrose in the half price sale, so will feel smug in November knowing I’ve got green forest and red bird paper at the ready. Oh, and the gorgeous bird bin badge crackers!! All on offer. I also feel like I’ve helped the birds a bit! Thank you for posting.